If you want to gain more emotional maturity as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Emotional maturity is a lifelong journey, marked by self-awareness, resilience, and thoughtful interactions.

As we grow older, developing emotional maturity can lead to healthier relationships and a more peaceful mindset.

However, holding on to certain behaviors can hinder this growth.

If you want to gain more emotional maturity as you age, it’s time to say goodbye to these 8 behaviors.

Letting go of these habits can pave the way for deeper understanding and personal fulfillment:

1) Stop avoiding your feelings

Emotions can be messy, uncomfortable, and downright scary—but they’re also unavoidably human and, if we want to mature emotionally, we need to stop running away from them.

Mature individuals don’t shy away from their feelings.

Instead, they acknowledge them, accept them, and allow themselves to feel them fully; they don’t suppress their emotions or try to numb them out of existence.

Doing this requires a lot of bravery and it’s certainly not an easy feat.

When you feel something intense, whether it’s joy, sadness, anger or anything else, next time—don’t run away from it.

Avoiding your feelings is like trying to hold back a river with a sieve, it’s not going to work and it’s only going to leave you feeling more frustrated in the end.

2) Quit the blame game

For a long time, I had a habit of blaming others for my emotions: If I was upset, it was because someone had done something to me, and If I was angry, it was because they had acted in a way that provoked me.

But one day, I realized that this was a roadblock in my journey towards emotional maturity.

I was giving other people power over my emotions, allowing their actions to dictate how I felt.

So I decided to change: I started taking responsibility for my feelings.

Like how, instead of blaming someone else for my sadness, I acknowledged that my sadness was my own.

This didn’t mean that other people’s actions didn’t affect me, but it meant that I took ownership of my reactions to those actions.

It wasn’t easy, and it took time to unlearn the blame game—but it’s been one of the most important steps in gaining emotional maturity.

3) Stop expecting instant gratification

In a world where we can get almost anything at the click of a button, it’s easy to develop an “I want it now” mentality.

But here’s the thing: Emotional maturity doesn’t work that way.

A study conducted by Standford University, called “The Marshmallow Test,” involved children being offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately or two small rewards if they waited for a short period, approximately 15 minutes, during which the tester left the room and then returned.

The follow-up studies found that the children who were able to wait longer for the bigger rewards tended to have better life outcomes, including higher SAT scores, educational attainment and even body mass index.

This test emphasizes the importance of delayed gratification, which is a key aspect of emotional maturity.

It’s about understanding that good things often come to those who wait and that patience is a virtue.

4) Ditch the need for approval

One of the biggest roadblocks to emotional maturity is the constant need for approval from others.

This can stem from various factors like low self-esteem, lack of confidence, or fear of rejection.

By constantly seeking validation from others, you’re essentially giving them control over your happiness and self-worth—this alone can be emotionally draining and can hinder your personal growth.

Emotionally mature individuals understand that they don’t need approval from others to feel good about themselves.

They know their worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions and are comfortable in their own skin, confident in their decisions, and unapologetically themselves—they cannot please everyone and that’s okay.

5) Let go of grudges

I’ve learned over the years that holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick—it only ends up hurting you, not them.

Reliving past hurts and transgressions only prolongs your own pain and prevents yourself from moving forward.

In a sense, you’re stuck in a loop, replaying the same negative scenarios over and over again.

I’ve found that forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook for their actions, but freeing myself from a mental prison and choosing my own peace of mind over resentment and anger.

This doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened or allow toxic people back into your life, though—you can still release the negative emotions associated with those memories.

In its totality, emotional maturity involves knowing when to let go.

6) Embrace vulnerability

Being vulnerable means being open to experiencing a full range of emotions, including the ones that scare us.

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Vulnerability is about letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be seen for who you truly are—imperfections and all—by admitting when you’re wrong, apologizing when you’ve made a mistake, and having the courage to express your feelings honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable.

There’s no shame in being vulnerable—this is just a clear indication of emotional strength and authenticity.

7) Stop comparing yourself to others

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison—we see the highlights of others’ lives and compare them to our own, often feeling inadequate in the process.

Choosing to compare yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges.

We all have different life journeys, different strengths and weaknesses, and different experiences that shape who we are.

Emotionally mature individuals know their worth is not determined by how they stack up against others, as they focus on their own development and growth instead of competing with others.

Shift your focus and concentrate on becoming the best version of yourself.

8) Learn to be comfortable with discomfort

Emotional maturity is about being okay with not feeling okay and sitting with discomfort—whether it’s fear, sadness, or anger, and not rushing to escape it.

Life is full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you’ll be able to navigate your emotions with wisdom and grace.

Remember this: It’s okay to not be okay all the time.

Embrace the journey towards emotional maturity

If you’ve read this far, take a moment to reflect on the behaviors we’ve covered; it’s about continuous growth, becoming more self-aware, and evolving day by day.

And importantly, it’s about letting go of behaviors that no longer support your well-being.

As Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

Emotional maturity requires accepting ourselves in our entirety—our strengths, our weaknesses, our feelings, our flaws.

So as you continue on your journey towards emotional maturity, remember that it’s okay to stumble, fall, and to not have all the answers.

Being a work in progress is okay because, in the end, that’s what we all are—works in progress.

Every step we take towards emotional maturity is a step towards becoming our truest, most authentic selves.