If you want to form closer bonds in life, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Building closer bonds with people is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but let’s be honest—it’s not always easy.

Sometimes, we unintentionally hold ourselves back with behaviors that push others away instead of drawing them in. I’ve been guilty of this myself, and chances are, you’ve felt it too.

The good news? Stronger, more meaningful connections are within reach.

It just takes a little self-awareness and the willingness to let go of certain habits that create distance.

Let’s explore some common behaviors that could be standing in the way of forming those deep, lasting bonds we all crave.

1) Criticizing unnecessarily

We all know that criticism is a part of life. But there’s a big difference between constructive criticism and unnecessary criticism.

Constructive criticism helps us grow, improve and learn from our mistakes. Unnecessary criticism, on the other hand, only serves to tear others down and damage relationships.

If you find yourself criticizing others more often than not, it might be time to take a step back and rethink your approach. It’s okay to have opinions and to voice them, but it’s crucial to do so in a respectful and non-hurtful way.

Remember, we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to focus on the positives and how you can help others grow.

Saying goodbye to unnecessary criticism can help you form closer bonds with those around you. Because at the end of the day, we all want to feel accepted, valued, and loved.

2) Breaking promises

Trust is an essential ingredient in any relationship. And nothing breaks trust faster than broken promises.

I remember a time when I had committed to helping a friend move over the weekend. But when the day came, I was feeling lazy and decided to bail. My friend was understandably upset and our relationship took a hit.

I learned a valuable lesson that day: If you make a promise, keep it. If you’re unsure about your ability to follow through, it’s better to be honest upfront than to let someone down later.

By saying goodbye to the habit of breaking promises, you show people that they can rely on you. This not only builds trust but also strengthens your bonds with others.

3) Being always right

In a world where everyone has a platform to voice their opinions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that we’re always right. But this mindset can create a barrier between us and others.

When we let go of the need to always be right, we open ourselves up to new ideas and perspectives. This humility makes us more approachable and allows for deeper connections with others.

As the folks at Fearless Living say, “Being an open-minded person affects every single relationship you have. It affects the strength of your relationships. It affects your ability to be an effective manager. It affects how you handle new situations. And open-mindedness affects your willingness to show up for yourself.”

4) Holding onto ego

In Buddhism, the concept of ego is often seen as a roadblock to deeper understanding and connection. Our ego can lead us to view ourselves as separate from others, creating a barrier that prevents genuine bonds.

Halfway through my journey of exploring Buddhism, I realized how much my ego was impacting my relationships. The constant need to prove myself and the fear of appearing vulnerable were keeping me from forming close connections with others.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into this concept and provide practical steps on how to let go of ego to live a more fulfilling life.

By saying goodbye to your ego, you allow yourself to be more open and vulnerable – key ingredients in forming lasting bonds with others. It’s not about losing yourself, but rather, embracing your authentic self and allowing others to do the same.

5) Avoiding difficult conversations

There was a time when I would do anything to avoid difficult conversations. Whether it was addressing a conflict, expressing my feelings, or discussing a problem, I’d always find an excuse to dodge the situation.

Over time, I realized that by avoiding these conversations, I was preventing my relationships from deepening.

The truth is, these tough talks are opportunities for growth and understanding. They allow us to express our needs and hear the needs of others. This is why psychologists say that conflict is actually healthy for relationships.

Embracing difficult conversations instead of avoiding them can lead to stronger, more honest relationships. It’s not easy, and it might feel uncomfortable at first, but the rewards are worth it.

6) Always being available

It might seem counter-intuitive, but always being available for others can actually hinder the development of deep relationships.

While it’s important to be there for the people we care about, constant availability can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s crucial to set boundaries and allow ourselves time to recharge.

Remember, it’s not selfish to take care of your own needs. In fact, by taking time for self-care, you’ll be better equipped to be present and supportive for others when they really need you.

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So say goodbye to always being available and hello to balanced relationships where both parties feel valued and respected.

7) Neglecting to listen

Listening is a critical skill in building strong relationships. However, in our fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into the habit of hearing without truly listening.

When we’re preoccupied with what we’re going to say next, or how we’re going to respond, we fail to fully engage with the other person. This can leave them feeling unheard and unvalued.

By learning to really listen – to focus on understanding rather than responding – we can deepen our connections with others. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, and by making a conscious effort to listen, we can make others feel valued and appreciated.

8) Failing to show appreciation

At the heart of every strong relationship is a simple truth: people want to feel valued.

An easy way to do this? Express your gratitude.

Research shows that showing gratitude to those we care about strengthens the relationship by fostering a deeper connection and ensuring its longevity.

When we fail to show appreciation for the people in our lives, it’s easy for connections to weaken over time. No one likes to feel taken for granted, and a lack of gratitude can create emotional distance, even in the closest bonds.

Expressing appreciation doesn’t have to be elaborate. A heartfelt “thank you,” a kind gesture, or even a moment of acknowledgment can go a long way. It shows that you see and value the effort, support, or presence of the other person.

Without it, resentment can quietly build, leaving relationships feeling one-sided and unbalanced.

Final thoughts

Forming closer bonds isn’t about grand gestures or perfect timing—it’s about consistently showing up in a genuine and intentional way.

By letting go of behaviors that create distance, you make space for deeper, more meaningful connections.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I discuss how letting go of ego and embracing empathy can lead to deeper connections.

The key is to focus on understanding and valuing others, which ultimately strengthens the bonds we share. With a little self-awareness and effort, you can build connections that truly stand the test of time.

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Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is a renowned expert in mindfulness, relationships, and personal development. With over a decade of experience, Lachlan has dedicated his career to exploring the intricacies of human behavior and self-improvement. For his latest articles and updates, follow him on Facebook here

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