As we mature, so do our relationships with our parents as they shift from being our caretakers to becoming individuals with whom we can form deep, meaningful connections.
But sometimes, old behaviors hinder this transformation—building a closer bond during this time requires intention and understanding.
However, certain habits or behaviors can unknowingly create distance, making it harder to foster that connection.
If you desire a closer bond with your aging parents, there are certain behaviors you need to bid farewell to.
By letting go of these seven behaviors, you can open the door to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship with your parents in their later years:
1) Dismissing their opinions
Growing up, we often see our parents as the authority figures, the ones who always know best. But as we mature, so do our perceptions.
We start forming our own views, and sometimes, these views clash with those of our parents.
It’s easy in these moments to dismiss their opinions outright, to view them as out-of-touch or irrelevant—but this approach only creates distance.
Instead of simply disregarding their views, try engaging them in a conversation, understand their perspective, and share yours with respect and patience.
You don’t always have to agree with them, but validating their opinions helps in fostering a stronger bond.
2) Not making time for them
Life gets busy; between work, friends, and personal responsibilities, it can be challenging to find time for anything else.
I’ve been there: I remember a phase where I was so engrossed in scaling my career ladder that weeks turned into months without me realizing I hadn’t spent any quality time with my parents.
They never complained, but I could sense the growing distance.
That’s when I decided to make a change—I started scheduling regular catch-ups with them.
It wasn’t always easy, but the effort was worth it as the more time I spent with them, the more I understood them and vice versa.
Unfortunately, our parents won’t be around forever.
Letting go of the “too busy” excuse and making time for them can help in building a deeper connection—consider it an investment in one of life’s most precious relationships.
3) Holding onto grudges
Forgiving and forgetting is easier said than done, especially when it comes to family.
We often hold onto past disagreements or hurtful comments, allowing them to create a barrier in our relationships.
Interestingly, health-related studies and articles have shown that holding onto grudges can actually have negative impacts on our physical health, alongside the emotional strain it brings.
By letting go of past resentment and embracing forgiveness, we not only relieve ourselves of unnecessary stress but also open the doors for a more harmonious relationship with our parents.
Don’t let yesterday’s disagreements hinder today’s bond with your parents.
4) Avoiding difficult conversations
There’s no sugarcoating it—some conversations are hard.
They make us uncomfortable and vulnerable and, as a result, we often avoid them—especially with our parents.
Avoiding difficult discussions doesn’t make the underlying issues disappear and, instead, they create a gap in your relationship that widens over time.
Whether it’s about their health, finances, or any other sensitive topic, approach it with empathy and patience.
Remember, the aim isn’t to confront but to understand and support; open communication is key to any relationship, including the one with your parents.
5) Taking them for granted
There was a time when I thought my parents would always be there, strong and unchanging.
It’s easy to fall into this illusion, especially when life gets hectic but, the reality is, our parents are growing older and time won’t wait for us to realize their importance.
I learned this the hard way when my father fell ill—it was a wake-up call that made me realize how I’d been taking his constant presence and support for granted.
Cherish the moments with them, express your gratitude, and let them know how much they mean to you.
Treasure your parents while you still have them around.
6) Overlooking their needs
As our parents age, their needs change; it’s not just about their physical health—their emotional needs evolve too.
They may require more support, understanding, and patience from us.
However, in the hustle of our own lives, it’s easy to overlook these shifts as we may unconsciously continue treating them the same way we did when we were teens.
To form a closer bond with them, it’s crucial to be aware and accommodating of their changing needs.
Check in with them regularly, offer your help, and most importantly, lend your ear when they need someone to talk to.
Being attentive to your parents’ needs is a small step that can go a long way in strengthening your relationship with them.
7) Forgetting to express your love
In the end, it all boils down to love.
We often assume our parents know how much we love them, but assumptions don’t convey feelings—words do!
Don’t hold back from expressing your love for your parents; it could be as simple as saying “I love you,” giving them a hug, or spending quality time with them.
Expressing your love is the bridge that can connect hearts and form an unbreakable bond as it’s the most powerful way to show you care and appreciate their presence in your life.
At the heart of it all: Love
The essence of human relationships often stem from an emotion that is both profound and universal—love.
This sentiment holds true, especially when it comes to the bond with our parents.
As they age, their need for love, understanding, and companionship intensifies.
The psychologist Erik Erikson, known for his theory on Psychosocial Development, believed that in the later stages of life, individuals seek to achieve a sense of integrity and avoid feelings of despair—this can be achieved through love, care, and understanding from their close ones.
As we let go of certain behaviors to foster a closer bond with our parents, it all comes back to love.
Is it easy? Not always—but is it worth it? Absolutely.
Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with your parents: Are there changes you can make to nurture this special connection?
The love we share with our parents is irreplaceable—cherish it while you can!
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