As we age, we often focus on building physical health, career accomplishments, or financial stability.
But there’s another type of strength we can’t overlook—our mental resilience.
Becoming mentally stronger sometimes means letting go of the very behaviors we’re used to. Certain patterns, mindsets, and reactions can quietly drain our resilience, making it harder to handle life’s twists and turns with clarity and confidence.
Today, we’re diving into six such behaviors that may be holding you back—and why letting them go can open the door to greater mental strength, peace, and purpose.
Ready to step into a stronger mindset?
1) Procrastination
Let’s kick things off with a big one.
We all know procrastination is a time thief, but its effects go beyond our to-do lists.
Experts, like those at McLean Hospital, highlight that procrastination is often tied to anxiety and can even impact our physical health. It’s more than just putting things off; it’s a cycle that can drain our energy and diminish our well-being.
As Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.”
The key to overcoming procrastination is identifying its root cause. Often, it’s fueled by perfectionism, self-doubt, or negative thinking. By addressing these underlying drivers, we can break the cycle and take meaningful action toward our goals.
2) Living in the past or future
I’ll admit, this one hits close to home for me.
For years, I was caught up in either replaying past events or worrying about future ones. I’d go over old decisions, wondering what I could have done differently, or stress about what might happen down the road.
But as wise Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once wrote, “Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future.”
What helped me break free from this mental trap was discovering mindfulness. At first, it felt strange—even uncomfortable—to focus just on the present. But over time, I found it made a real difference in calming my mind and bringing me back to what’s happening right now.
And this practice is well-supported by experts, too. According to the American Psychological Association, mindfulness can reduce rumination, lower stress, and even boost satisfaction in our relationships.
Basically, by letting go of the weight of the past and the worry of the future, we can free up mental space to live fully in the present.
3) Negative self-talk
How often do you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” or “I always mess things up”?
These thoughts might feel like harmless inner commentary, but they can easily become self-fulfilling prophecies. As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
Our minds tend to believe the stories we tell ourselves, so when we focus on negative self-talk, we’re effectively reinforcing those beliefs and limiting our potential.
The good news is that we can flip the script. By challenging these negative thoughts and reframing them, we create space for self-compassion and confidence to grow. A small shift in mindset—like replacing “I can’t do this” with “I’ll give this my best shot”—can open the door to new possibilities and greater mental resilience.
4) Overlooking self-care
In the hustle of modern life, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner. Between work, family, and countless responsibilities, taking time for ourselves can feel like an indulgence—or just another item on an endless to-do list.
But neglecting self-care is a mistake that comes with a cost. As the folkst at Psych Central point out, when we consistently overlook self-care, we’re more likely to feel hopeless, burned out, irritable, and even experience worsening mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
I learned this the hard way when I was starting Hack Spirit. I pushed myself nonstop, thinking if I just worked harder, I’d reach my goals faster. Instead, I found myself exhausted, uninspired, and far less effective than I wanted to be. It wasn’t until I prioritized breaks, sleep, and regular exercise that I noticed a real shift in my energy and mood.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. By making self-care a priority, we can show up with more resilience, patience, and clarity—not only for ourselves but for everyone around us.
5) Seeking constant happiness
This might sound counter-intuitive, but constantly seeking happiness can actually hinder our mental strength.
Happiness is a wonderful emotion, but it’s not a permanent state. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions.
When we set constant happiness as our goal, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It’s unrealistic and it can lead to a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. This pursuit can exhaust our mental energy and weaken our resilience.
Instead, aim for contentment. Strive for a life that’s fulfilling and meaningful, even if it’s not always happy. Embrace the full spectrum of human emotions, and understand that it’s okay to feel.
6) Excessive approval seeking
The last behavior that can hinder mental strength is constantly seeking approval from others.
While it’s natural to want to be liked and appreciated, basing your self-worth on others’ opinions can be detrimental. It can make you lose sight of your own values and desires, leading to inauthenticity.
Being dependent on external validation can also negatively impact your mental resilience. If approval is not forthcoming, it can lead to self-doubt and a decrease in confidence.
Instead, focus on self-approval. Validate your own actions, celebrate your own successes, and learn from your own mistakes.
Be your own cheerleader and you’ll develop a stronger sense of self, which is key to building mental strength.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
By saying goodbye to these behaviors, we’re freeing up mental space, energy, and focus for growth, purpose, and inner peace.
Remember, mental strength isn’t about being perfect—it’s about becoming more aware, more intentional, and more in tune with what truly matters.
Ready to step forward with a stronger mindset? Embrace these changes, and watch your resilience grow.
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