Building meaningful connections and engaging conversations starts with being mindful of how we interact with others!
While many of us strive to be engaging, certain behaviors can unintentionally create barriers or make us seem distant.
But let’s face it, being truly engaging in conversation isn’t just about the basics—it’s about finesse, understanding, and avoiding certain behaviors that can put people off.
If you want to be more engaging in your interactions, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight behaviors.
Let’s explore how small changes in your approach can help you connect more deeply and make every conversation count:
1) Dominating the conversation
We’ve all been there: You’re trying to make conversation, but the other person just won’t stop talking.
They’re so wrapped up in their own stories and opinions that they don’t give you a chance to speak.
It’s frustrating, right?
But here’s the deal: If you want to be more engaging when you interact with others, you need to say goodbye to this behavior.
Being a good listener is just as important, if not more so, than being a good talker.
Engaging conversation is all about balance—it’s about sharing and taking in equal measure!
2) Making it about me, me, me
I’ll never forget this one time when I was having coffee with a friend: She was going through a rough breakup and was pouring her heart out to me.
But instead of just listening, I found myself interjecting with my own experiences.
Every time she mentioned her feelings, I’d respond with “I know how you feel, I went through the same thing when…”
Oh, boy, was it a big mistake!
Looking back, I realize that making the conversation about me didn’t help my friend.
In fact, it probably made her feel like her feelings weren’t being acknowledged.
If you want to be more engaging when you interact with others, it’s crucial to make the conversation about them, not you.
Listen to their stories, empathize with their feelings, and respond appropriately without always bringing the focus back to yourself.
It’s not always easy, but trust me, it makes a world of difference!
3) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact, it’s more powerful than you might think.
Did you know that maintaining eye contact can actually make you appear more trustworthy and likable? That’s right!
According to a study published in Science Daily, individuals who maintain eye contact during a conversation are perceived as more reliable, warm, sociable, and sincere.
But the opposite is also true: If you constantly avoid eye contact when you’re interacting with others, it can make you come across as distant, disinterested, or even dishonest.
The next time you’re having a conversation, try to keep steady eye contact—it’s a simple behavior to change, but it can greatly improve how engaging you are!
4) Checking your phone
Let’s admit it, we’re all guilty of this one: You’re in the middle of a conversation, and suddenly, you feel that familiar buzz in your pocket.
You pull out your phone, quickly responding to a text or checking a notification.
It’s just a second, right? Wrong!
When you check your phone during a conversation, it sends a clear message to the person you’re talking to: “You’re not as important as what’s on my screen.”
And that’s not exactly engaging, is it?
When you’re in a face-to-face conversation, try to keep your phone in your pocket; it might be hard at first, but the improved connection with the other person will be worth it!
5) Not showing genuine interest
Over the years, whenever I would show genuine interest in what others are saying, they tend to open up more.
They share more about their lives, their thoughts, and their feelings.
But when I’m not fully engaged or showing real interest, the conversation tends to stay surface level.
It’s like there’s an invisible barrier preventing us from connecting on a deeper level.
If you want to be more engaging when you interact with others, try to show genuine interest in what they’re saying.
Ask follow-up questions, make relevant comments, and show that you’re invested in the conversation—this will change everything!
6) Over complimenting
Compliments are like spices—a little can enhance the flavor, but too much can spoil the dish!
While it might seem like showering someone with praise would make you more appealing, it can often have the opposite effect.
People can easily sense when compliments are insincere or excessive, and it can come off as trying too hard or even manipulative.
Aim for meaningful, sincere compliments that show you value and appreciate the other person.
Remember, quality over quantity always wins when it comes to praise!
7) Interrupting
We all know how frustrating it is to be interrupted when we’re in the middle of a sentence.
It feels disrespectful and can quickly shut down any meaningful conversation.
However, many of us are guilty of doing this without even realizing it—we get excited, eager to share our thoughts, and jump in before the other person has finished speaking.
If you want to be more engaging during conversations, make a conscious effort to avoid interrupting.
Let the other person finish their thought before you respond—it shows respect and that you value what they have to say!
8) Being negative
If there’s one thing that can quickly turn a conversation sour, it’s negativity.
Constantly complaining, criticizing, or focusing on the downside can be exhausting for the person you’re interacting with.
Positivity, on the other hand, has the power to uplift, inspire, and engage.
Focus on the good, be optimistic, and spread positivity in your conversations; it’s a simple change that can make a world of difference in how engaging you are to others!
Final thoughts
Being engaging isn’t about grand gestures or impressive speeches—it’s about the small things: making eye contact, showing genuine interest, creating a positive environment, valuing others’ input, and making room for them in the conversation.
Remember, the goal is to be the most interested (not interesting) in the conversation!
By letting go of these eight behaviors, you’re stepping toward becoming a better communicator and more engaging to be around.
Here’s to more meaningful conversations and deeper connections—here’s to becoming more engaging!
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