If you want to be less of a pushover with your friends, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Being a pushover isn’t fun. You’re often left feeling used and underappreciated, all because you don’t know how to say ‘no’ when your friends take advantage.

But the good news is, it’s a behavior that can be changed. Learning to stan up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be unkind or confrontational. It just means you need to respect your own boundaries and let go of certain habits.

In this article, we’re going to discuss the eight behaviors you need to ditch if you want to stop being taken for a ride by your friends.

Switching up these behaviors will not only earn you more respect from your friends but also make you feel more confident about yourself. So, let’s dive in.

1) Always being a ‘yes’ person

The ‘yes’ person. We all know one. They’re the one who agrees to everything, no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable it is for them.

It’s not uncommon for ‘yes’ people to be seen as pushovers. This is because they often struggle to assert their own needs and wants. Instead, they prioritize everyone else’s needs over their own.

The problem is, saying ‘yes’ all the time can ultimately lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and being taken advantage of.

So, if you find yourself always agreeing to your friends’ requests, it might be time to start practicing the art of saying ‘no’. You don’t have to be rude about it, just firm and honest.

Remember, you have your own needs and desires too. It’s okay to prioritize them sometimes. And any friend who truly respects you will understand this.

Saying ‘no’ more often won’t make you a bad friend. In fact, it can lead to healthier relationships because you’re being honest about your boundaries.

2) Ignoring your own needs

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that ignoring your own needs doesn’t do anyone any favors.

I used to be the friend who would drop everything to help out, even if it meant sacrificing my own plans or well-being. I thought this made me a good friend, but over time, I realized this behavior was doing me more harm than good.

One day, a friend called me up for some help with moving. I had a big presentation the next day and really needed to prepare.

But instead of saying no, I found myself agreeing to help and spent my entire evening lugging furniture around. The next day, my presentation didn’t go well because I hadn’t had enough time to prepare.

That’s when I understood that ignoring my own needs wasn’t helping anyone. It wasn’t fair to me and it wasn’t fair to my friends who probably didn’t realize the extent of the sacrifice I was making.

From then on, I started being more aware of my own needs and setting boundaries. It was difficult at first, but it has made a huge difference in my relationships and my own well-being.

3) Over-apologizing

Apologies are necessary when we’ve made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings.

However, over-apologizing, or saying sorry when it’s not needed, can actually undermine your confidence and make you come across as a pushover.

So next time you find yourself about to say “sorry” for something that isn’t your fault, try to resist the urge. It’s okay to take up space and to stand up for yourself. And remember that not every situation warrants an apology.

4) Not expressing your feelings

We’ve all been there. A friend says or does something that makes you feel upset or uncomfortable, but instead of voicing your feelings, you choose to keep quiet to avoid conflict.

But here’s the thing: bottling up your emotions is not doing you any favors. In fact, it can lead to stress, resentment, and even damage your relationship in the long run.

Your feelings are valid and it’s important to express them. If a friend has upset you, let them know how you feel. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding confrontational. For instance, “I felt hurt when…” instead of “You upset me when…”

Remember, expressing your feelings doesn’t make you a pushover. In fact, it shows that you respect yourself enough to stand up for how you feel.

5) Neglecting self-care

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget about taking care of ourselves. We put everyone else’s needs above our own and leave ourselves last on the list. But self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

It’s not selfish to take time for yourself. In fact, it’s crucial for your mental and physical well-being. And let me tell you, when you’re feeling good about yourself, you’re less likely to let others walk all over you.

So, start setting aside some ‘me’ time every day. It could be as simple as reading a book, taking a walk, or even just having a cup of tea in peace.

When you start valuing yourself, others will too. So say goodbye to neglecting self-care and hello to a stronger, more assertive you.

6) Trying to please everyone

Once upon a time, I was a chronic people-pleaser. I would bend over backwards trying to make everyone around me happy, even if it came at my own expense. It was exhausting and, quite frankly, impossible.

The truth is, you can’t please everyone. Not everyone will like you or agree with your decisions, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s important is that you stay true to yourself and what you believe in.

It took me a while to understand this, but once I did, it was liberating. I started making decisions based on what I felt was right for me, not what would make others happy.

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So if you find yourself constantly trying to please others, take a step back. It’s okay to put your own happiness first sometimes. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.

7) Avoiding confrontation

Avoiding confrontation is a common trait among those who feel like pushovers. It’s often easier to agree or stay silent than to stand up for yourself and risk an argument.

But here’s the thing – not all confrontations have to be negative. In fact, they can often lead to better understanding and improved relationships.

It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings, even if they might lead to disagreement. Remember, you have every right to voice your opinion and assert your boundaries.

So next time you find yourself avoiding a potential confrontation, take a deep breath and speak up. You might be surprised by the respect you earn from others when they see you standing up for yourself.

8) Undervaluing your worth

The most crucial thing you need to understand is this: You are valuable. Your thoughts, your feelings, your time, all of it matters.

When you undervalue your worth, you’re more likely to let others take advantage of you. But when you recognize your value, you’ll find it easier to assert yourself and demand respect from others.

So think about what makes you unique, what you’re proud of, and why you matter. Hold on to these thoughts and use them to remind yourself of your value whenever you feel like a pushover.

Remember, the world needs you to be authentic, not a doormat. Stand tall and embrace your worth. Because you, my friend, are irreplaceable.

Final thoughts: It’s all about respect

What it all comes down to is respect – respect for others, but more importantly, respect for yourself.

The renowned psychologist, Dr. Nathaniel Branden once said, “To respect ourselves, we have to learn to befriend all aspects of who we are.” This includes understanding our worth and setting boundaries for our relationships.

Being a pushover often stems from a lack of self-respect or self-worth. But remember, you are as valuable as anyone else. Your feelings matter. Your time matters. You matter.

It’s not always easy to stand up for yourself, especially if you’re used to putting others first. But take small steps towards change, and with time and practice, you’ll find it easier to assert yourself.

Reflect on the behaviours we’ve discussed in this article. Think about which ones resonate with you and consider how you might start changing them. Remember, change starts from within.

So take a moment today to remind yourself of your worth and make a pledge to start respecting and asserting yourself more in your relationships. After all, a friend who respects you is a friend worth having.