Being single and being happy isn’t mutually exclusive. In fact, it’s all about the mindset and behaviors you choose.
The truth is, there are certain habits that can make us feel miserable when we’re single. These habits hold us back from embracing our independence and experiencing the joy of self-discovery.
But here’s the good news: you can choose to let these behaviors go. You can choose to cultivate habits that bring you happiness and fulfillment, even when you’re flying solo.
In this article, we’ll explore eight behaviors you should bid farewell to if you want to be truly happy while single.
Let’s get started.
1) Begrudging your single status
Being single is often viewed as a transitional phase, a pit stop on the way to coupledom. But it’s time to challenge this perspective.
The first behavior you need to say goodbye to is resenting your single status. This feeling of discontent can cast a shadow over your entire life, making it harder for you to enjoy the present moment.
The truth is, being single comes with its own set of freedoms and opportunities. It’s a chance to explore your individuality, invest time in your personal growth, and live life on your own terms.
When you begrudge your single status, you’re essentially closing yourself off to these possibilities. Instead, try approaching it with curiosity and openness.
Happiness isn’t exclusive to those in a relationship. So the next time you start feeling down about being single, remind yourself of all the benefits it brings.
2) Comparing yourself to others
We’ve all done it – I certainly have. We look at other people’s lives, especially those in relationships, and we start to compare. We see their social media updates filled with romantic dinners and cozy movie nights, and we can’t help but feel a pang of envy.
I remember one Valentine’s Day when I was single. As I scrolled through my social media feed, seeing all the mushy posts from my friends in relationships, I felt a wave of loneliness wash over me. I began to question my single status and compare my life to theirs.
But here’s what I learned: comparison is the thief of joy. The more I compared my life to others’, the more unhappy I became.
So, I decided to stop. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and envying others, I chose to celebrate my own life. I started focusing on my accomplishments, my goals, and the things that brought me joy.
And guess what? It worked. The moment I stopped comparing myself to others, I started feeling happier and more content with my single status.
It’s not easy to stop comparing yourself to others, but it’s definitely worth trying. Remember, your journey is unique and should be celebrated, not compared.
3) Ignoring self-care
One of the most common pitfalls when you’re single is neglecting self-care. We often believe that self-care is a luxury, something we do only when we have time or when we’re in a relationship. But, science says otherwise.
Engaging in self-care activities can significantly increase feelings of self-love and overall well-being.
Taking care of yourself isn’t about indulgence, it’s about acknowledging your needs and prioritizing them. It could be as simple as reading a good book, taking a long bath, or even treating yourself to your favorite meal.
When you find yourself feeling low because you’re single, do something special for yourself. Prioritize your physical and emotional health. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re telling yourself that you matter. And that’s an essential step towards being happy whether single or not.
4) Fearing solitude
Often, we mix up being alone with being lonely. The fear of solitude can be a significant impediment to embracing singlehood happily.
But here’s the thing: being alone and being lonely are not the same. Solitude can be a beautiful, transformative experience. It offers us the space to introspect, explore our thoughts and feelings, and get to know ourselves better.
On the other hand, loneliness is a state of mind. It can creep in even when you are surrounded by a crowd or in a relationship.
If you want to be truly happy single, it’s important to say goodbye to the fear of solitude. Embrace it as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
Learn to enjoy your own company, and you’ll find that happiness comes naturally, irrespective of your relationship status.
5) Holding onto past relationships
It’s completely natural to feel a sense of loss after a relationship ends. The memories, shared experiences, and the bond you once had can leave a lasting imprint on your heart. But clinging to these past relationships can prevent you from moving forward and finding happiness in your single life.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or erasing these experiences. Instead, it means accepting that they were a part of your journey and acknowledging that you’ve grown from them.
It takes courage to let go, and it’s okay if it takes time. But remember, every ending is a new beginning. By releasing the past, you create space for new experiences, personal growth, and ultimately, your happiness as a single individual.
Just like a flower needs space to bloom, your happiness needs room to grow. In letting go of past relationships, you’re making room for your well-being and happiness to flourish.
6) Waiting for ‘the one’
I spent a significant chunk of my early twenties waiting. Waiting for someone who would sweep me off my feet, someone who would complete me. I was waiting for ‘the one’.
But here’s the truth I wish I’d realized sooner: Waiting for someone else to make you happy is a surefire way to be unhappy. It’s like handing over the keys to your happiness to someone else and hoping they’ll drive you to your destination.
Eventually, I understood that the only person who could complete me was, well, me. I realized that my happiness was in my own hands and that waiting for ‘the one’ only kept me from enjoying my life in the here and now.
If you want to be happy single, it’s crucial to understand that you are your own ‘one’. You have the power and the ability to make yourself happy.
Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Instead, take the wheel and drive yourself towards your own happiness.
7) Minimizing your accomplishments
When you’re single, it’s easy to downplay your achievements. Without a significant other to share in your success, you might feel like your accomplishments aren’t worth celebrating. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Every achievement, big or small, is a testament to your hard work and resilience. They are milestones on your journey of personal growth and deserve recognition.
Whether it’s acing a difficult project at work, reaching a fitness goal, or mastering a new recipe, every accomplishment is a reason to celebrate.
By acknowledging and celebrating your achievements, you not only boost your self-esteem but also reinforce positive behaviors that contribute to your overall happiness. So don’t hold back from giving yourself a pat on the back. You’ve earned it!
8) Believing you’re not enough
This is perhaps the most harmful belief that can keep you from being happy while single: the notion that you are not enough.
It’s a lie. You are enough, just as you are. Single, in a relationship, happy, sad, succeeding, struggling – you are always enough.
Your worth is not defined by your relationship status. It’s defined by your character, your values, your actions, and most importantly, how you view yourself.
Embrace your worthiness and know that you deserve happiness, regardless of whether you’re single or not.
Embracing your journey
Remember, the Dalai Lama once said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” It’s about the choices you make, the perspective you choose to adopt, and the behaviors you decide to let go of or embrace.
Being single offers you the opportunity to focus on yourself, your happiness, and your personal growth. It’s a chance for self-discovery, self-love, and self-improvement.
So, say goodbye to these eight behaviors and open up to the possibilities that singlehood brings. Embrace your journey, celebrate your accomplishments, and most importantly, believe that you are enough.
Because at the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being single or in a relationship. It’s about being comfortable with who you are and living life on your own terms.
