We all want to be the kind of person others look forward to seeing.
That person who brings joy, positivity, and a certain spark into any room they enter. Unfortunately, some of our behaviors can get in the way of that goal.
Think about the last time you truly enjoyed someone’s company.
Maybe it was their warmth, their attentiveness, or how they made you feel valued.
Now, contrast that with someone who made you feel unseen or drained.
The behaviors that create these opposite experiences aren’t random—they’re patterns we all fall into at times.
If you want others to look forward to spending time with you, identifying and letting go of these seven off-putting habits can change the game.
The best part? Most of them are surprisingly easy to fix.
1) Being a conversation hog
We all know someone who loves to talk… a lot.
They’re the person who dominates every conversation, leaving little room for anyone else’s input.
If that sounds like you, it might be time for a change.
When you’re interacting with others, remember that communication is a two-way street.
When we monopolize conversations, we inadvertently send the message that what we have to say is more important than what others have to contribute.
This can make people feel unheard and unvalued, which certainly isn’t going to make them look forward to your company.
Next time you find yourself in a conversation, be mindful of how much you’re talking.
Make a conscious effort to listen more than you speak, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming someone people can’t wait to see.
2) Being constantly on your phone
I remember a time when I was catching up with a good friend of mine over coffee.
Mid-conversation, I found myself reaching for my phone every time it buzzed with a new notification.
I’d respond to a text, check an email, or scroll through social media, all the while thinking I was still fully engaging in the conversation.
But when my friend gently pointed out how often I was on my phone, I realized that my behavior was making her feel unimportant and ignored.
In today’s digitally connected world, it’s so easy to become absorbed in our devices.
But when we do this in the company of others, it sends the message that we’re not fully present or interested in them.
If you want people to look forward to your company, it’s important to give them your undivided attention.
Leave the phone in your pocket or bag and focus on the person in front of you.
Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
3) Negativity overload
We all have our bad days and it’s perfectly okay to vent once in a while.
But constantly dwelling on the negative can become draining for those around us.
According to an article on Scientific American negativity can actually be contagious, causing others to start feeling down too.
Negativity can create a heavy atmosphere that people naturally want to avoid.
On the other hand, positivity can be infectious, creating a light and enjoyable environment that people are drawn to.
This doesn’t mean you have to ignore the negative or pretend everything is perfect.
It’s simply about shifting your perspective and creating a more uplifting environment for yourself and those around you.
4) Not respecting personal boundaries
Respecting personal boundaries is fundamental in all relationships.
It’s about understanding and acknowledging the invisible lines that people draw around themselves for their comfort and well-being.
Whether it’s touching someone without their consent, intruding on personal space, or pushing someone to share more than they’re comfortable with, crossing these boundaries can make people feel uncomfortable, disrespected, and less likely to want to spend time with you.
To make people look forward to your company, it’s essential to respect their personal boundaries.
This means understanding and respecting their comfort zones in different areas such as physical touch, personal space, privacy, and emotional boundaries.
It shows you value their feelings and individuality, which is a surefire way to make people feel comfortable and enjoy your company.
5) Being overly critical
I used to have a habit of pointing out flaws or errors wherever I saw them.
Whether it was a small typo in a friend’s text or a slight mistake in their work, I felt it was my duty to correct them.
It wasn’t until a friend bravely told me how my constant critiques made them feel inadequate and anxious around me that I understood the impact of my behavior.
Offering constructive feedback is one thing, but constant criticism can be harmful and create a hostile environment.
Practice replacing criticism with encouragement and understanding.
Celebrate others’ achievements and support them in their struggles, rather than dwelling on their shortcomings.
This approach fosters an atmosphere of acceptance and positivity that people will naturally gravitate toward.
6) Ignoring or dismissing others’ feelings
One of the quickest ways to make people feel uncomfortable or unwelcome is by ignoring or dismissing their feelings.
If someone is sharing their emotions or experiences with you and you brush it off or make light of it, it can make them feel invalidated and unheard.
We all experience life differently and just because you might not understand or relate to someone’s feelings doesn’t mean they’re any less real or significant.
Instead of ignoring someone when you don’t understand them, show empathy by listening attentively and responding thoughtfully.
This approach reassures them that their feelings matter and that they are valued, fostering a safe space where they feel comfortable opening up to you.
7) Being unauthentic
At the end of the day, nothing beats authenticity.
People can sense when you’re not being genuine, and it can create an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Being true to yourself and showing your real personality, feelings, and thoughts is the most powerful way to connect with others.
Authenticity attracts authenticity, fostering deep, meaningful connections that people will look forward to experiencing again and again.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
The quest to become a person that others look forward to being around is a personal journey of self-improvement and awareness.
The cornerstone of any meaningful connection lies in respect, empathy, and authenticity.
When we embrace these values and say goodbye to behaviors that push people away, we not only foster better relationships but also grow as individuals.
It’s about creating an environment where others feel heard, respected, and valued.
Where they can be their authentic selves without fear of judgment.
And ultimately, it’s about being the kind of person you would want to be around.
Do you truly know yourself?
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