I’ve always believed there’s a fine line between being the person people enjoy having around and the one they tolerate.
It’s like walking a social tightrope, and sometimes, we slip without even realizing it. The truth is, our habits—the ones we barely notice—are often what push people away more than we think.
Maybe it’s talking too much, checking your phone mid-conversation, or that little voice in your head that judges before it listens.
Whatever it is, these tiny behaviors can quietly drain the joy out of being together. And who wants to be the person people secretly dread seeing pop up on their caller ID?
If you’re ready to be the kind of company that people look forward to, let’s take a closer look at those habits that might be holding you back.
1) Dominating the conversation
We all know someone who loves the sound of their own voice a bit too much.
They dominate every conversation, leaving little to no room for others to express their thoughts.
This habit can be exhausting for those around you. It sends a message that you’re more interested in hearing your own opinions than in understanding others’.
Being a good listener is a crucial part of being an enjoyable company. It shows that you value the perspectives and experiences of others, not just your own.
If you find yourself monopolizing conversations, it’s time to step back and give others a chance to speak.
The art of listening can turn the tide in your favor and make people genuinely look forward to spending time with you. A conversation is a two-way street.
2) Being a constant critic
I remember a time in my life when I was quite cynical.
I’d quickly point out the flaws in everything, from the movie we just watched to the restaurant where we dined. I thought it made me appear smart and discerning.
One day, my friend gently pointed out that my constant criticism was draining.
It was then that I realized, my habit of constant critique was turning people off rather than engaging them.
Studies have proven that criticism, especially when it’s constant, can create a negative atmosphere. It gives off an energy that most people would rather avoid.
Sure, there’s a time and place for constructive criticism. But if you find yourself always focusing on the negatives, you might be creating an environment where people feel judged or downcast.
Strive for balance. Appreciate the good and critique the bad when necessary. It’s a habit that can transform your relationships and make your company sought after.
3) Always being late
Punctuality might seem like a small thing, but it carries a lot of weight.
When you’re habitually late, it sends a message that you don’t value other people’s time.
In fact, according to psychology, chronic lateness is often linked with personality traits such as anxiety, low self-control, and even ADHD.
Showing up on time, on the other hand, demonstrates respect and consideration for others. It shows that you’re reliable and trustworthy.
If you struggle with being on time, try setting reminders or leaving earlier than necessary.
It’s a habit worth developing if you want people to genuinely look forward to your company.
4) Being glued to your phone
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get lost in the world of social media, emails, and endless online content.
But when you’re with others, constantly checking your phone can be off-putting.
It sends a message that you’re not fully present or interested in the conversation. It’s almost as if you’re saying that something on your phone is more important than the person you’re with.
By putting your phone away and giving your full attention, you show respect and genuine interest in others. This simple act can make people feel valued and more inclined to enjoy your company.
Real-life connections are far more enriching than virtual ones. So make a habit of unplugging from digital distractions when you’re with others.
5) Being quick to judge
We’re all human, and it’s in our nature to form opinions.
However, being quick to judge others can be a habit that pushes people away.
When you judge someone quickly, you miss out on the opportunity to truly know them. You see them through the lens of your assumptions rather than who they really are.
Moreover, nobody likes to feel judged. It creates a barrier that hinders genuine connection.
Instead, approach others with an open mind and heart. Allow them to reveal who they are through their words and actions. This creates a safe space where people feel accepted and understood.
Let’s strive to replace judgment with understanding.
It’s a habit that not only makes you a delight to be around but also enriches your own life with diverse friendships and deeper connections.
6) Neglecting to express gratitude
I’ve had times when I took the kind gestures of others for granted.
I expected the efforts and overlooked the need to acknowledge them. Over time, I noticed a change in the way people interacted with me.
Expressing gratitude is more than just good manners. It’s a way of showing appreciation and acknowledging the effort someone has put into doing something for you.
When you neglect to express gratitude, it can make people feel unappreciated.
A simple thank you can go a long way in making someone feel valued. It fosters a positive environment and makes people more inclined to extend their kindness in the future.
So, make it a habit to express gratitude, not just for big favors but also for small acts of kindness.
You’ll find that it enhances your relationships and makes your company more enjoyable.
7) Gossiping
Gossip can seem like harmless chatter, but it’s a habit that can quickly turn people away.
It breeds negativity and trust issues. After all, if you’re talking about others behind their backs, what’s stopping you from doing the same about them?
Instead of engaging in gossip, focus on positive or neutral topics. Discuss ideas, share experiences, or talk about common interests.
This fosters a healthier and more enjoyable conversation.
Your words reflect your character. By keeping your conversations respectful and uplifting, you become someone whose company people genuinely look forward to.
8) Not being genuine
In a world full of curated social media profiles and polished personas, being genuine is a breath of fresh air.
People can sense when you’re not being true to yourself, and it creates a barrier to authentic connection.
Being genuine means showing up as you are, with your strengths and weaknesses, your achievements and your struggles. It means being open, honest, and real.
When you’re genuine, you create a safe space for others to be themselves too. And that’s when the real connection happens. That’s when people truly enjoy your company.
So let go of any pretenses or masks. Embrace who you are.
Because the real you is the best you can be.
Final thoughts
At the end of the day, being someone people genuinely enjoy being around is as simple as being considerate.
It’s showing up on time because their time matters. It’s listening without interrupting because their thoughts count. It’s putting the phone down and making eye contact because their presence is enough.
All these habits? They boil down to one thing: respect. And respect is like social currency—the more you give, the richer your connections become.
So if you recognize yourself in some of these habits, don’t sweat it. We’ve all been there. The good news is, that it’s never too late to tweak the way we show up for others.
In a world where genuine connection can feel rare, being the person who makes others feel seen, heard, and valued is a habit worth cultivating.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s how you become someone people don’t just like being around—they love it.
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