Navigating friendships can be a tricky path, especially when shyness sometimes holds you back.
Building deeper, more meaningful friendships requires stepping out of comfort zones and leaving behind habits that might hinder your social connections.
If you’re shy but desire closer friends, there are certain behaviors to let go of in order to open up and build genuine relationships.
In this article, I’ll be emphasizing these seven habits to say goodbye to if you’re ready to form stronger bonds with others.
If you’re ready to transform your friendships, keep reading:
1) Trying to blend in
When it comes to friendships, standing out is far more important than blending in.
Shyness often makes us want to hide, to camouflage ourselves within a group but, ironically, this habit can prevent us from forming deeper connections.
In reality, people are drawn to those who are genuine and unafraid to show their true colors.
Think about your own friends: It’s likely their unique quirks and characteristics that you find most endearing, right?
The same applies to you—your individuality is your strength.
Being yourself is about being comfortable and authentic in your own skin and, trust me, your friends will appreciate it!
2) Overthinking everything
Here’s a confession: I used to be a chronic overthinker.
I would replay conversations in my head, worry about how I was perceived, and get anxious about future interactions.
This habit can be especially detrimental when you’re trying to form closer friendships.
Overthinking can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, creating barriers where there needn’t be any.
One day, a good friend pointed out my tendency to overthink; noticing this habit was the first step towards changing it, so I started practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present moment rather than worrying about the past or future.
Gradually, I noticed myself becoming more relaxed in social situations, and as a result, my relationships improved significantly.
Take it from me and learn to take a step back and try to live in the moment.
3) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is a powerful way of communicating and connecting with others as it’s a silent language that expresses interest, understanding, and empathy.
Did you know that studies have found that maintaining eye contact during a conversation leads to deeper connections and increased feelings of respect and affection?
Shyness can often lead us to avoid eye contact, but it’s a habit worth breaking.
Next time you’re chatting with a friend, try to maintain eye contact.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, it will become more natural and you’ll notice the positive impact it has on your relationships.
4) Keeping conversations surface-level
If you want to have closer friendships, you’ll need to dive deeper than small talk.
Shyness can sometimes make us stick to safe, surface-level topics, but real connections are built on shared experiences, emotions, and vulnerabilities.
Don’t be afraid to open up and share more about yourself—ask your friends about their dreams, fears and memories, and show genuine interest in their responses.
Creating a space where both parties feel comfortable sharing deepens the bond and makes for a more fulfilling friendship.
5) Neglecting self-care
There was a time when I put everyone else’s needs before my own: I thought that by always being available and accommodating, I’d become indispensable to my friends.
But I soon realized that by neglecting my own needs, I was depleting my energy and wasn’t able to be fully present in my friendships.
I was often tired, irritable, and just not myself.
Self-care is not selfish because it’s essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Being in a good place ourselves allows us to be better friends.
Make sure to prioritize your self-care; whether it’s a relaxing bath, a quiet walk, or just some alone time with a good book—do what replenishes you.
You’ll find that you’re not only a happier person but also a better friend.
6) Fearing rejection
Fear of rejection can hinder us from taking risks, especially in friendships, as it prevents us from expressing our feelings, sharing our thoughts, or simply reaching out to others.
However, it’s crucial to remember that everyone experiences rejection at some point—it’s a part of life and it helps us grow.
Instead of fearing rejection, embrace it as a learning opportunity.
Should a friend not respond the way you hoped, don’t consider it as a reflection of your worth but a chance for you to understand their perspective better.
Overcoming the fear of rejection can open doors to deeper, more meaningful friendships.
Take that leap of faith and express yourself freely—you might be surprised by the positive response you receive.
7) Not being present
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to be physically present but mentally elsewhere.
We often find ourselves scrolling through social media or responding to emails while hanging out with friends.
This habit can create a sense of disconnect and hinder the development of closeness.
Being present is more than just being physically there—it’s about actively engaging, listening, and showing interest in the other person.
Your friends will appreciate your undivided attention and it will ultimately strengthen your bond.
Put away your phone, forget about your to-do list for a while and just be there, in the moment, with your friends.
Being present or being in-the-moment is the most precious gift you can give them.
The heart of the matter
Friendship, at its core, is about connection, understanding and being understood, sharing experiences, and creating memories together.
Shyness can sometimes feel like a barrier, but it doesn’t have to be.
Remember, it’s your unique perspective and depth of emotion that make you who you are.
As Aristotle once said, “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
This profound connection is what we all seek in friendships.
Saying goodbye to these seven habits is a step towards embracing your true self and forming deeper connections—your shyness is not a flaw because it’s just part of who you are.
The goal is to grow and become the best version of yourself and, as you do, your friendships will become more authentic and fulfilling.
After all, isn’t that what friendship is all about?
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