If you tend to worry too much about things you can’t control, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

We all experience worry from time to time—it’s a natural response to situations that feel uncertain or threatening.

But there’s a big difference between legitimate worries, like preparing for an important event, and excessive worry about things completely beyond our control, like other people’s actions, the future, or global events.

When we get caught in the cycle of worrying about things we can’t influence, we often waste energy and mental space that could be better used elsewhere.

These worries don’t protect us or prepare us—they simply drain us, leading to stress, anxiety, and inaction.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you want to stop letting uncontrollable worries dominate your life.

It’s time to break free from these unproductive habits and regain control over where you direct your focus, energy, and peace of mind.

1) Trying to control the uncontrollable

Let’s start with the most obvious behavior – trying to control things that are beyond our control.

We all do it, don’t we? We stress about the future, fret over other people’s opinions, or worry about outcomes that are entirely out of our hands.

But let me tell you something: it’s a futile effort. No matter how much we wish to, we can’t control every aspect of our lives.

And that’s okay.

When we try to control the uncontrollable, all we do is create unnecessary anxiety and stress for ourselves.

It’s like trying to hold water in our hands – impossible and frustrating.

The key is to recognize what we can control and what we can’t.

And then, focus on what’s within our influence.

The rest? Let it go.

Isn’t it better to channel our energy into areas where we can make a real difference?

Instead of wasting it on things that are beyond our reach?

2) Overthinking

Now, let’s talk about a behavior that’s a personal nemesis of mine – overthinking.

You know how it goes – you start with one thought, and before you know it, you’re spiraling down a rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’ and worst-case scenarios.

I used to be a master at this game.

I remember a time when I was waiting to hear back about a job opportunity.

Instead of patiently waiting for their response, I started to overthink. “What if they didn’t like me? What if I said something wrong during the interview? What if I don’t get the job?”

I spent sleepless nights stewing over scenarios that hadn’t even happened, creating an immense amount of stress for myself.

Over time, I realized that overthinking wasn’t just unproductive; it was also stealing my peace of mind.

So, I started practicing mindfulness and meditation to help me stay present and to avoid getting lost in my thoughts.

It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it. Because the truth is, most of the things we worry about never even happen. 

3) Comparing yourself to others

We live in an age where we’re constantly bombarded with images and stories of people leading ‘perfect’ lives, thanks to social media.

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing our behind-the-scenes with their highlight reels.

I’ve been there, and trust me, it’s not a pleasant place to be.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve into the Buddhist concept of self-acceptance and how it can help us break free from the constant cycle of comparison.

The book emphasizes that each one of us is on our own unique journey, with our own set of challenges and successes.

So, comparing our path with someone else’s is not just pointless; it’s also detrimental to our peace of mind.

Instead of focusing on others’ lives, let’s channel our energy into becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Let’s celebrate our achievements, no matter how small, and strive for continuous self-improvement.

4) Avoidance

Avoidance is yet another behavior that can exacerbate our worries about uncontrollable situations.

Psychologically speaking, avoidance is a defense mechanism where we attempt to avoid thinking about or dealing with situations that make us anxious or uncomfortable.

It might seem like a good idea in the short term, but in the long run, it can lead to heightened anxiety and worry.

Instead of facing our fears and dealing with them head-on, we tend to avoid them and hope they’ll disappear on their own.

But here’s the thing: they rarely do.

In fact, research has shown that avoidance can actually make our worries grow stronger, as it reinforces the belief that the situation is dangerous or threatening.

So, what’s the solution?

Exposure.

By gradually facing the things we fear or worry about, we can learn to manage our reactions better and reduce our anxiety over time.

5) Seeking reassurance

Now, this one might seem a bit counter-intuitive – seeking reassurance.

After all, isn’t it helpful to get validation and reassurance from others when we’re worried?

While it’s perfectly natural to seek reassurance, it can sometimes feed our worries instead of alleviating them, especially when it becomes a constant habit.

The more we seek validation from others about things we can’t control, the more we start relying on external sources for our peace of mind.

This not only fuels our anxieties but also undermines our self-confidence and ability to trust in ourselves.

Instead of constantly seeking reassurance, try developing your own internal system of validation.

Trust in your abilities, your judgments, and your instincts.

6) Focusing on the negatives

It’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and scenarios, especially when we’re worried about things we can’t control.

But constantly dwelling on the negatives can lead to a downward spiral of anxiety and stress.

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Instead, try to shift your focus towards the positives.

Every situation, no matter how dire it may seem, has a silver lining. Look for that silver lining.

Practice gratitude for the things that are going well in your life.

Our thoughts shape our reality. If we constantly focus on the negatives, our world will seem bleak.

But if we choose to focus on the positives, we can cultivate a more optimistic and hopeful outlook.

7) Living in the future

Here’s an easy trap to fall into – constantly living in the future.

Getting caught up in dreams of what could be, or fears of what might happen, can take us away from the present moment.

During a career transition a few years back, it was easy to get lost in thoughts of “Will I succeed?” or “What if I fail?”

But all this did was create more stress and worry.

The key is to bring ourselves back to the present moment. After all, the present is all we really have control over.

Meditation and mindfulness can be incredibly helpful tools for staying grounded in the present.

They allow us to acknowledge our thoughts and worries without getting swept away by them.

8) Perfectionism

Striving for perfection can seem like a commendable trait, but it can often lead to excessive worry and stress.

When we set unrealistically high standards for ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment and self-criticism.

Perfectionism can lead us to worry about things we can’t control, like making mistakes or failing.

But the truth is, mistakes and failures are a part of life.

They’re how we learn and grow.

So instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress.

Celebrate your small victories and view your mistakes as learning opportunities.

As the renowned psychologist Carol Dweck said, “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.”

So let’s adopt a growth mindset, embracing our imperfections and viewing challenges as opportunities for growth.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Letting go of the behaviors that fuel unnecessary worry can be a game-changer for your mental well-being.

While it’s natural to feel concerned about certain aspects of life, learning to distinguish between what you can control and what you can’t is key to finding peace and focus.

By shifting your energy away from the uncontrollable and putting it into the things you can influence, you free yourself from the constant stress that holds you back.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into the concepts of self-awareness and mindful living.

These principles can provide powerful tools to help us navigate this journey and lead a more peaceful, fulfilled life.