There’s a vast difference between assuming you have a good relationship with your kids and actually knowing you do.
The differentiation is all about perception; assuming you have a good relationship is often based on generic societal expectations, while knowing involves understanding the unique dynamics that exist between you and your children.
Parenting often comes with self-doubt, and it’s easy to overlook the subtle ways you’re connecting with your children.
Recognizing these signs, however, can give you a sense of assurance that you are on the right track.
If you notice these 7 signs, it’s a strong indicator that your bond with your kids is healthier and stronger than you realize:
1) Open dialogue
There’s no place where open communication is more vital than in the parent-child relationship.
Let’s talk about the concept of ‘open dialogue’.
This term refers to a communication style that encourages honesty, trust, and mutual respect—it’s the foundation on which strong parent-child relationships are built.
Think about it this way: A child who feels comfortable talking to their parents about their feelings, thoughts and experiences is likely to feel secure in their relationship. They are confident that their voice is heard and valued.
When a child is confronted with challenges or dilemmas, they will often seek advice from those they trust—ideally, their parents.
2) They seek your guidance
There’s something special when your child looks to you for guidance.
When I was growing up, I had a rough time fitting in at school: Social situations were tough for me and I often found myself feeling like an outsider, but there was one person I always turned to—my mom.
Every time I faced a dilemma or a difficult situation, I sought my mom’s counsel.
My mother wasn’t just my parent, she was my guiding light and, looking back now, that was a clear sign of the strong bond we shared.
Fast forward to today, and as a parent myself, I realize the significance of that bond.
When my daughter comes to me for advice or just to share her thoughts about something that happened at school, it’s a sign that she trusts me and values my input in her life.
3) Regular physical affection
In the realm of parent-child relationships, physical affection plays a crucial role.
Regular physical affection focuses on the simple touch of a hand on their shoulder, a pat on the back, or a playful tousle of their hair—these small gestures send a powerful message of love and reassurance to your child.
Research from University of California-Los Angeles has shown that a lack of physical affection, or parental warmth, is associated with high blood pressure, increased heart rate, and high levels of stress (hormones), and much more health risks; it also suggests that children who receive less to no regular physical affection tend have negative, emotional effects that can last a lifetime.
If your child is comfortable with and often initiates physical affection, it’s a strong sign of a secure and loving relationship.
4) They share their successes and failures
One of the most telling signs of a strong parent-child relationship is when your child feels comfortable sharing both their successes and failures with you.
In a healthy relationship, a child doesn’t just come to their parent with the good news; they also share their disappointments and setbacks.
This is because they trust that their parent will handle their vulnerability with care and offer them the necessary support.
It’s in these moments of vulnerability that the trust in your relationship truly shines through.
5) They feel safe expressing their emotions
Emotions, particularly the difficult ones, can be a complex territory to navigate, especially for children.
I remember when my son was going through a particularly tough time at school: Dealing with a bully was hard on him and he often came home upset.
Instead of suppressing his feelings, he would express his fear and frustration openly.
As a parent, it was heart-wrenching to see him so distressed.
However, it was comforting to know that he felt safe enough to show his vulnerability and express his emotions honestly.
Creating an environment where your child feels safe expressing their emotions, even the tough ones, is an essential part of building a strong relationship—it communicates to your child that their feelings matter and they are loved and supported no matter what.
6) They include you in their future
There’s something both heartwarming and reassuring when your child sees you as a part of their future.
A casual mention of a family trip they want to take after graduating or a discussion about how they would like you to be there when they start their own family are signals that your child values your presence in their life.
Children who have a deep bond with their parents tend to project this relationship into their future—they see their parents as an integral part of their life, not just in the present, but also in the years to come.
7) They know they can count on you
At the end of the day, the strongest sign of a healthy parent-child relationship is when your child knows, without a doubt, that they can rely on you.
Whether it’s a minor issue like needing help with homework or a major one like dealing with heartbreak, your child needs to know that you’re there for them—no matter what.
A trust like this is built over time, through consistent actions that show your child that they can depend on you in their times of need.
If your child turns to you in their moments of crisis, knowing that you will be their rock, it’s the clearest sign yet of a healthy parent-child relationship.
Final thoughts: It’s all about connection
The intricacies of parent-child relationships go beyond the surface, often intertwining with our emotional and psychological makeup.
One such instance is the ‘Theory of Attachment Styles’, proposed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth.
This theory suggests that the bond formed between a child and their primary caregiver during their early years plays a significant role in shaping their future relationships.
Recognizing these seven signs in your relationship with your children highlights the secure attachment you’ve nurtured—one built on trust, open communication, and emotional safety.
From expressing emotions freely to seeking your guidance and sharing future plans, each sign reflects the depth of your connection; parenting is about being present, understanding, and creating a space where your child feels valued and heard.
Take a moment to appreciate the unique bond you share with your children—it’s a testament to the love and care you’ve invested in your relationship!
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