If you recognize these 9 subtle phrases, you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist

Navigating the world of interpersonal relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist.

The defining trait of a narcissist is their excessive self-importance, often hiding behind a smokescreen of charm and charisma. But once you know what to look for, their true colors start peeking through.

And it often boils down to language. Narcissists have a way with words that can make you feel less than, while elevating themselves. So, if you can recognize these nine subtle phrases, you’re likely dealing with a high-level narcissist.

In the followin article,, we’ll show you what to listen for so you can better navigate these tricky waters. Remember, it’s not about judging or labeling others, but about protecting your own emotional well-being.

Let’s get started.

1) “I’m not being arrogant, I’m just confident.”

Let’s start with a classic, an all-time favorite of the narcissist.

Narcissists often have a very high opinion of themselves, which can often come across as arrogance or egotism. But here’s the twist, they don’t see it that way. To them, it’s just confidence.

This phrase is often used as a defense mechanism when their grandiose self-image is questioned or threatened. They’ll assert their ‘confidence’ as a way to dismiss any critique and maintain their inflated sense of self-worth.

But remember, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is about being sure of your abilities, while arrogance is an exaggerated sense of one’s importance or abilities.

So when someone tells you they’re not being arrogant, but just confident, be aware. It might be a red flag that you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist.

It’s important to note that not everyone who uses this phrase is a narcissist. But when repeated often and accompanied by other signs, it could be an indication of narcissistic behavior.

2) “No one understands me like you do.”

Here’s a phrase that hit me close to home.

A few years ago, I was friends with someone who frequently used this line. At first, it felt flattering, like I was special or important to them. It seemed like a compliment, an acknowledgment of our tight-knit bond.

However, as time went on, I realized there was more to it. This phrase was not just about our connection but also a way to isolate me from others. It created an us-versus-them scenario, where it felt like only I could understand or empathize with their experiences.

In reality, it was a manipulation tactic, subtly creating a dependency where I felt responsible for their emotional well-being.

This is a classic move by high-level narcissists. They make you feel special and needed, which can be intoxicating. But remember, healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, not emotional dependency or isolation.

3) “I don’t make mistakes.”

This phrase is another signature move in the narcissist’s playbook. It’s a clear reflection of their inability to accept their faults or mistakes.

In reality, everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. It’s part of being human and a crucial element in our growth and development. But for a narcissist, admitting a mistake is equivalent to showing weakness, and that goes against their self-image of perfection.

Interestingly, psychologists have found that narcissists often engage in something called ‘cognitive distortion’. This is a way of thinking that allows them to rationalize their mistakes or shift the blame onto others. This defense mechanism helps them maintain their inflated self-image and avoid any feelings of guilt or inadequacy.

4) “I know better than anyone else.”

This phrase is a clear sign of a narcissist’s overconfidence in their knowledge and abilities. They believe that they are superior and that their understanding or perspective is always the best.

A narcissist’s self-perceived superiority often extends to all areas of life, from professional matters to personal relationships. They struggle to accept others’ opinions or advice, believing that they always know better.

But this mindset doesn’t only affect their interactions with other people. It can also limit their personal growth and development. After all, if you believe you already know everything, what more can you learn?

If someone consistently dismisses your opinions or advice with a “I know better,” be cautious. It could be a sign that you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist.

5) “You’re too sensitive.”

This phrase is a classic example of a narcissist’s tendency to gaslight others. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that makes the other person question their feelings, memory, or even sanity.

In the case of “You’re too sensitive,” the narcissist undermines your feelings or reactions to their behavior. They dismiss your concern or hurt as an overreaction, subtly shifting the blame from their actions to your response. In essence, they’re saying, ‘It’s not me, it’s you.’

This tactic can be incredibly damaging, as it invalidates your feelings and can make you doubt your own perceptions.

If you ever find yourself being told that you’re “too sensitive” after expressing hurt or concern over someone’s actions, take a step back. It might be a sign that you’re dealing with a high-level narcissist.

6) “I never said that.”

This phrase is a classic from the narcissist’s handbook, and it’s one that can really tug at your heartstrings.

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Imagine sharing a conversation where they made a promise or shared a hurtful comment, only for them to deny it ever happened. It’s frustrating and confusing. You start to question your memory, your judgment, even your sanity.

This is another form of gaslighting. By denying their own words or actions, they create a sense of doubt in your mind, making you wonder if you’re remembering things correctly.

This can be particularly damaging in close relationships, where trust and communication are so important. It gradually erodes your trust in your own perceptions and can leave you feeling deeply unsettled.

7) “I don’t need anybody.”

This phrase takes me back to a time when I was in a relationship with someone who seemed fiercely independent. They would often say, “I don’t need anybody,” asserting their self-reliance and dismissing the idea of needing emotional support or help from others.

At first, I admired this independence. It seemed like a sign of strength, a testament to their ability to handle things on their own. But as time went by, I started to see the flip side.

Despite their assertive exterior, they struggled with intimacy, were resistant to any form of vulnerability, and had difficulty recognizing the needs and feelings of others.

This phrase is a common defense mechanism for a narcissist. It allows them to maintain their grandiose self-image and shield themselves from any perceived weaknesses or dependency.

8) “You should be grateful.”

This phrase is an example of how a narcissist can manipulate your feelings to suit their narrative. By telling you that you should be grateful, they’re implying that they’re doing you a favor by being part of your life.

In reality, they’re using this phrase as a control mechanism. It’s a way for them to make you feel indebted to them, creating an imbalance in the relationship. They want to hold the upper hand, and by making you feel grateful, they’re asserting their dominance.

It’s important to remember that gratitude should arise naturally from appreciative feelings, not be demanded or imposed by someone else.

9) “I’m the victim here.”

This phrase is perhaps one of the most telling signs of a high-level narcissist. They have an uncanny ability to twist situations to make themselves appear as the victim, regardless of their role in the situation.

By playing the victim, they deflect responsibility for their actions, elicit sympathy, and shift the blame onto others. It’s a masterful manipulation tactic that allows them to escape accountability.

Everyone can have moments of self-pity or feel wronged, but when it becomes a recurring theme, it’s cause for concern.

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Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is a renowned expert in mindfulness, relationships, and personal development. With over a decade of experience, Lachlan has dedicated his career to exploring the intricacies of human behavior and self-improvement. For his latest articles and updates, follow him on Facebook here

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