Confidence is key when it comes to public speaking, and it often comes down to habits.
Believe it or not, you could be sabotaging your own confidence without even knowing it.
You see, there are certain habits that can undermine your ability to speak confidently in front of others. And the first step to shake them off is to identify these confidence-killers.
In this article, I’ll guide you through the 10 habits you need to say goodbye to if you really want to become a confident speaker. And trust me, once you kick these habits, you’ll see a noticeable change in your speaking prowess.
Let’s get started.
1) Negative Self-Talk
Let’s start with one of the most common confidence-killers, negative self-talk.
Remember this, you’re your own biggest critic. And often, our inner critic can be brutal, especially when it comes to public speaking.
You might find yourself thinking “I’m not good at this” or “People will laugh at me”. This negativity is what hinders your confidence and stops you from expressing yourself freely.
Now, here’s the catch. You need to become conscious of this negative chatter and actively work on replacing it with positive affirmations.
Remind yourself that you’re capable, you’re knowledgeable, and most importantly, you’re improving each time you speak.
Tackling negative self-talk is a huge step towards becoming a confident speaker. But remember, change won’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate small victories along the way.
2) Avoiding Eye Contact
Next up is something I personally struggled with, avoiding eye contact.
When I first started public speaking, my nerves would get the best of me and I’d end up staring at my notes or the floor. It felt like a safe escape from the sea of faces in front of me.
But here’s what I learned; avoiding eye contact can make you seem less confident and even dishonest. It also keeps you from connecting with your audience.
Once I realized this, I made a conscious effort to improve. I started practicing making eye contact during conversations with friends and family. Eventually, it became more natural for me during speeches too.
If you’re like me and have a habit of avoiding eye contact, it’s time to break it. Your audience wants to connect with you, and maintaining eye contact is a powerful way to do that.
3) Speaking Too Fast
Many people tend to speed up their speech when they’re nervous or eager to get their point across. But here’s something you might not know: speaking at a slower pace actually makes you appear more confident and in control.
Moreover, when you speak too fast, your audience may have a hard time keeping up with your thoughts. On the contrary, slowing down allows them to comprehend and absorb your message better.
When you’re delivering a speech or presentation, remember to pace yourself. Take a deep breath, pause where necessary, and give your words the weight they deserve. Your audience will thank you for it.
4) Using Filler Words
“Um”, “like”, “so”, “you know” – sound familiar? These are called filler words, and they’re a public speaker’s worst enemy.
We often use these words when we’re trying to gather our thoughts or when we’re nervous. But overusing them can make us appear less confident and unprepared.
The best way to eliminate these fillers is to first become aware of them. Record yourself speaking and identify the filler words you tend to overuse.
Then, practice pausing whenever you feel the urge to use a filler word. With time and practice, you’ll notice a significant reduction in your use of fillers, and a boost in your confidence as a speaker.
5) Not Practicing Enough
Here’s a simple but crucial truth: practice makes perfect.
If you want to become a confident speaker, there’s no substitute for practice. Yet, many people underestimate its importance and think they can wing it on the spot.
The reality is, even the most experienced speakers spend hours rehearsing their speeches. Practice helps you familiarize yourself with your material, reduces anxiety, and allows you to deliver your speech more confidently.
Make it a habit to practice your speech multiple times before the big day. Trust me, your confidence will thank you for it.
6) Fearing Judgement
This one’s a bit deeper, but it’s something we all grapple with – the fear of judgement.
We often worry about what others will think or say about us. Will they notice that I’m nervous? What if I make a mistake? What if they don’t like my ideas? These fears hold us back from expressing ourselves confidently.
Here’s the truth: everyone makes mistakes. And no matter how well you speak, there’s always going to be someone who disagrees or criticizes.
But remember, you’re speaking because you have something valuable to share. So, instead of focusing on the fear of judgement, focus on the value you’re providing.
Embrace your uniqueness and let it shine through in your speech. When you do this, you’ll realize that the fear of judgement is overshadowed by the joy of expressing your true self.
7) Not Accepting Feedback
I remember a time when I was so sure about my public speaking skills that I dismissed any feedback that came my way. I thought I knew it all. But boy, was I wrong!
Feedback, both positive and constructive, is crucial for growth. It gives you an outsider’s perspective on your strengths and weaknesses, which you might not see yourself.
Instead of shying away from feedback, seek it out. Ask your peers, mentors, or audience members for their honest opinion. Use it as a tool to better yourself and grow as a speaker.
And remember, constructive criticism isn’t a personal attack. It’s an opportunity to learn and improve. Once I accepted this fact, my public speaking skills improved significantly, and I’m sure yours can too.
8) Trying to Be Perfect
Perfection might seem like the ultimate goal, but in reality, it can be a real confidence-killer when it comes to public speaking.
When you’re aiming for perfection, you put unnecessary pressure on yourself. This can lead to anxiety and actually hinder your performance.
Your audience isn’t expecting you to be flawless. They’re here for your ideas, your energy, and your unique perspective.
Instead of striving for perfection, aim for authenticity. Be real, be yourself, and embrace your imperfections. You’ll find that this not only boosts your confidence but also helps you connect better with your audience.
9) Neglecting Body Language
Your words are important, but they’re not the only way you communicate with your audience. Your body language speaks volumes too.
Our posture, gestures, and facial expressions can either enhance our message or distract from it. For instance, slouching or crossing your arms can make you seem less confident.
On the flip side, standing tall with open body language can project confidence and keep your audience engaged.
Pay attention to your body language. Practice using gestures to emphasize your points and make sure your facial expressions match your words. This will not only boost your confidence but also make your speech more effective.
10) Not Believing in Yourself
At the end of the day, the biggest obstacle to your confidence as a speaker might just be your own self-doubt.
Believing in yourself and your abilities is critical. You have to trust that you have valuable insights to share and that you’re capable of sharing them effectively.
Silence the nagging voice of self-doubt and replace it with self-belief. You are more capable than you think. Once you truly believe this, you’ll radiate confidence every time you step on that stage.
Final Thoughts
Public speaking is an art. It’s a skill that requires practice, patience, and self-belief.
There’s no magic pill that will instantly make you a confident speaker. It’s a journey filled with learning, unlearning, and relearning.
As you embark on this journey, remember to be kind to yourself. Accept that you’ll stumble, you’ll falter, and there will be moments of self-doubt. But remember, each stumble is a stepping stone towards becoming a better public speaker.
And remember the words of Mark Twain, “There are only two types of speakers in the world. The nervous and the liars.” So, if you’re nervous, know that you’re in good company.
So, as you reflect on these words, take a step back and ask yourself: Are you ready to say goodbye to these habits? Are you ready to embrace confidence and let your voice be heard?
The journey might not be easy, but trust me, it’s worth it.
