Confidence and intelligence are two key traits of a proficient speaker. However, there are habits that can stifle your potential to express yourself effectively.
These habits, often done unconsciously, can make you appear less confident and less intelligent than you actually are.
If you’re serious about honing your speaking skills, it’s time to wave goodbye to these 10 habits.
In this article, I’ll guide you through each of these pitfalls and show you how to avoid them. Because let’s face it – we all want to be that speaker who commands the room with ease and eloquence.
1) Overuse of filler words
One of the first habits you need to break to become a confident and intelligent speaker is the overuse of filler words.
Filler words like “um”, “uh”, “like”, and “you know” can creep into our speech when we’re nervous or unsure. They’re used as a crutch, giving us time to think about what we want to say next.
The problem is, these words can make you appear less confident and less intelligent than you are. They suggest that you are not certain about what you’re saying, undermining your credibility.
So, how do you rectify this habit? Start by becoming aware of it. Record yourself speaking and listen back, noting every time you use a filler word. You’ll be surprised at how often they pop up.
Next, practice pausing instead. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but a thoughtful pause is much better than an unnecessary “um”.
Remember, effective speaking isn’t about filling every moment with sound. It’s about making sure that when you do speak, your words are impactful and meaningful. So say goodbye to those filler words and hello to confident, intelligent speech.
2) Speaking too fast
This is one habit I had to personally overcome. I used to speak too fast, especially when I was excited or nervous.
It’s a common habit for many of us. We fear that if we don’t get our thoughts out quickly, we’ll lose our audience’s attention. Or, we worry that if we don’t rush, we’ll forget what we wanted to say.
But the truth is, speaking too fast can make it hard for your audience to follow along. Not only does it make you appear anxious, but it also means your message may not be fully absorbed.
I found that slowing down my speech had an immediate effect on the way others perceived me. I seemed more confident and in control, and people were more inclined to listen to what I had to say.
So, next time you’re speaking, remember to slow down. Take a breath, gather your thoughts and pace yourself. Your audience will thank you for it.
3) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is quite the powerful tool when it comes to effective communication. A study from the Idiap Research Institute in Switzerland discovered that speakers who maintained eye contact with their audience were perceived as more confident and authoritative.
Yet, many of us shy away from making eye contact when we speak, especially when we’re nervous. We may look at the floor, the wall, or even our own notes instead of connecting with our audience.
However, avoiding eye contact can make you seem unsure or untrustworthy. It prevents you from fully engaging with your audience and establishing a connection.
So, make a conscious effort to maintain eye contact when you’re speaking. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it will become more natural. And remember, you don’t have to stare intently at one person – it’s perfectly fine to periodically shift your gaze around the room.
4) Neglecting body language
Body language is a crucial component of effective communication. Your gestures, posture, and facial expressions can either enhance your message or detract from it.
Often, we are so focused on what we’re saying that we forget about how we’re physically presenting ourselves. We might slouch, fidget, or make defensive gestures without even realizing it.
Each of these non-verbal cues can convey a lack of confidence or nervousness. They can also distract your audience from your message.
To become a more confident and intelligent speaker, pay attention to your body language. Stand tall, use open gestures, and ensure your facial expressions align with your words. Remember, communication is about more than just words – your body language speaks volumes too.
5) Ignoring the audience’s needs
As a speaker, it’s easy to focus solely on what you want to say. But, to truly engage your audience and communicate effectively, you need to consider their needs as well.
Are you speaking in a way that is relatable to your audience? Are you addressing topics that interest them? Are you using language they can understand?
Ignoring your audience’s needs can make your speech come across as self-centered or out of touch. It can also lead to disengagement, as your audience may struggle to connect with your message.
To become a more confident and intelligent speaker, make an effort to understand your audience. Tailor your speech to their interests and needs. This way, you’ll not only capture their attention but also earn their respect and appreciation.
6) Not believing in your message
One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned as a speaker is the importance of truly believing in your message. When you speak from the heart, it resonates with your audience.
If you’re merely reciting words without conviction, it’s likely that your audience will pick up on this lack of authenticity. It can make your speech feel shallow and unconvincing.
You might not always have control over the topics you need to speak about, but you can always find an angle that resonates with you. Once you do, hold onto that. Speak with passion, conviction, and sincerity.
When you believe in your message, it shows. And that belief can be infectious, inspiring your audience to believe in it too. So, embrace the power of authenticity and let yourself truly connect with your message.
7) Avoiding difficult topics
In my early days of public speaking, I would steer clear of challenging or controversial topics. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing or starting a debate. But over time, I realized that avoiding these topics didn’t make me a better speaker. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
Difficult topics often spark the most engaging and meaningful conversations. They challenge both the speaker and the audience to think critically and empathetically.
Avoiding these topics can make your speeches feel superficial or safe. It can also limit your growth as a speaker.
So, don’t shy away from difficult topics. Embrace them. Use them as an opportunity to showcase your intelligence, empathy, and ability to navigate complex issues with grace and respect. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
8) Trying to be perfect
Many of us strive for perfection in our speeches. We rehearse tirelessly, aiming to deliver each word and phrase flawlessly. However, this quest for perfection can often backfire.
When you focus too much on being perfect, it can make you seem robotic or rehearsed. It can also increase your anxiety, as any small mistake feels like a huge blunder.
But here’s a little secret: audiences don’t expect you to be perfect. In fact, a small error or a moment of vulnerability can make you more relatable and human.
So, instead of striving for perfection, strive for authenticity and connection. It’s okay to make mistakes – they show your audience that you’re human too. And remember, the most memorable speeches aren’t the ones that are perfectly delivered, but the ones that touch people’s hearts.
9) Overloading with information
When we want to come across as intelligent and knowledgeable, it’s tempting to pack our speeches with as much information as possible. We think that by doing so, we’ll impress our audience.
However, bombarding your audience with too much information can be overwhelming. They may struggle to keep up, lose interest, or miss your key points altogether.
A good speaker knows that less is often more. Instead of trying to cover everything, focus on a few key points and explore them in depth. Use stories, examples, and analogies to make your points more engaging and easier to understand.
So, remember, quality trumps quantity when it comes to sharing information. Keep it simple, clear, and concise. Your audience will thank you for it.
10) Not practicing enough
The most important habit to abandon if you want to become a confident and intelligent speaker is neglecting practice. No matter how naturally gifted you are, there’s no substitute for regular, deliberate practice.
Practicing helps you familiarize yourself with your material, hone your delivery, and build confidence. It allows you to experiment with different techniques, find your unique voice, and improve your weaknesses.
Even the world’s best speakers didn’t get there overnight – they spent countless hours practicing and refining their craft. And if they needed to practice, so do you. So make it a habit to practice regularly. It’s the best investment you can make in your journey to becoming a confident and intelligent speaker.
