Have you ever had a feeling someone doesn’t like you, but they’re trying to hide it? It’s not always obvious, especially if they’re making an effort to be polite or keep things neutral. But the truth is, even when people try to mask their feelings, their behavior often gives them away.
As a writer at Blog Herald and someone who’s spent over a decade studying relationships, I’ve seen how subtle cues can speak louder than words. People rarely come right out and say they dislike someone—but if you know what to look for, their actions will tell you everything.
There are subtle signs—little things they say or do—that can reveal what they’re really thinking. Once you know what to watch for, it becomes much easier to spot.
Here are 8 subtle behaviors that people usually show when they dislike you but don’t want to admit it.
1) They give you insincere compliments
One of the most subtle ways someone might hide their dislike for you is by giving compliments that don’t feel genuine. On the surface, they’re saying something nice, but the tone or timing might feel a little off—like they’re just saying it to keep up appearances.
For example, they might say, “Oh, that’s… interesting,” or “Good for you!” in a way that feels more forced than supportive. It’s not what they’re saying; it’s how they’re saying it.
Insincere compliments are often an attempt to avoid conflict or confrontation while still keeping some emotional distance. If you notice this happening often, it could be a subtle sign they’re not as fond of you as they’d like you to think.
2) They avoid direct eye contact
I once worked with someone who always seemed nice on the surface, but something about their behavior never sat right with me. One thing I noticed was how they’d rarely make direct eye contact when we talked. At first, I brushed it off as shyness or distraction, but over time, it started to feel intentional—like they were uncomfortable around me.
For example, during meetings, I’d ask them a question, and instead of looking at me while answering, they’d glance at their notebook or stare at the table. Even casual conversations felt awkward because they’d constantly shift their gaze elsewhere.
It wasn’t until later that I realized this was likely their way of keeping some emotional distance. Avoiding eye contact can be a subtle sign someone is uncomfortable or not entirely honest about how they feel toward you. It’s something I’ve kept an eye out for ever since.
3) They use overly formal language
When someone doesn’t like you but wants to keep it under wraps, they may try to distance themselves emotionally by using overly formal or stiff language. Instead of talking to you in a relaxed, conversational tone, they might sound unusually professional or detached—even in casual settings.
For instance, instead of saying, “Hey, can you help me with this?” they might say something like, “Would you mind assisting me with this task?” This kind of formality can create a barrier that keeps interactions polite but distant.
Language is a powerful social tool, and people often adjust their tone to reflect how they feel about someone. Overly formal language can signal discomfort or an attempt to keep things strictly surface-level, without letting any real warmth show through.
4) They rarely initiate conversations
If someone dislikes you but doesn’t want to show it, they’ll often avoid starting conversations with you altogether. They might respond when you speak to them, but they’re unlikely to go out of their way to engage with you first.
For example, in a group setting, they’ll talk to others easily but won’t direct any comments or questions your way unless they absolutely have to. In one-on-one situations, the silence can feel noticeable—they’re waiting for you to take the lead every time.
This lack of initiative isn’t always intentional; sometimes, it’s just a way for them to minimize interactions without being openly rude. Over time, this behavior becomes hard to miss and can be a strong indicator of underlying discomfort or dislike.
5) They offer minimal support
When someone doesn’t like you but wants to keep it hidden, they might subtly pull back when it comes to offering help or support. They won’t outright refuse to assist you—that would be too obvious—but their efforts will often feel half-hearted or reluctant.
It can be disheartening when you’re facing a challenge or sharing an idea, and they respond with indifference or only the bare minimum of effort. Their words might technically sound supportive, but their actions—or lack of them—tell a different story.
True support comes from a place of care and connection, and when that’s missing, it can leave you feeling invisible or undervalued. It’s a quiet way for someone to show distance, even if they’re trying to keep things polite on the surface.
6) They exclude you from small moments
There was a time when I started noticing I wasn’t being included in little things—like casual group chats, quick coffee breaks, or even inside jokes that everyone else seemed to be in on. It wasn’t blatant exclusion; they’d still invite me to the big, obvious things like meetings or team gatherings. But those small, everyday interactions? I was often left out.
It’s those little moments that really build a sense of connection with others, and when someone deliberately leaves you out of them, it can sting in a way that’s hard to put into words. They might not even realize how much it shows, but that quiet exclusion sends a clear message—it’s their way of keeping you at arm’s length without making it obvious to anyone else.
7) Their body language feels closed off
Even if someone is polite with their words, their body language can often reveal how they truly feel. When someone dislikes you but is trying to hide it, they might unconsciously create physical barriers or show signs of being closed off.
For example, they might cross their arms when talking to you, angle their body away slightly, or keep a noticeable distance between you. Their posture may seem tense, and gestures that normally come naturally—like smiling or nodding—might feel forced or absent altogether.
Body language speaks volumes, even when words don’t. These subtle cues can make interactions feel colder than they should, leaving you with the sense that there’s an invisible wall between you and them.
They act differently when others are around
One of the clearest signs is a sudden change in how someone behaves toward you when other people are present. In private, they might come across as distant or indifferent, but in a group setting, they’ll make an effort to appear friendlier or more engaging.
This shift is often about maintaining appearances—they don’t want others to notice their true feelings. It can feel confusing because their behavior seems inconsistent, but it’s a way for them to avoid drawing attention to the tension while still keeping their distance when they can.
Paying attention to these changes can tell you a lot. People often reveal how they truly feel in the contrast between how they treat you one-on-one versus when there’s an audience.
