If a woman uses these 10 phrases in conversation, she isn’t a very confident or self-assured person

There’s a big difference between a woman exuding confidence and one who’s struggling with self-assurance.

The difference lies in words. Often, a woman who lacks confidence will use certain phrases that subtly betray her self-doubt.

In contrast, a self-assured woman chooses her words wisely, conveying strength and certainty.

Sadly, many women unknowingly use phrases that undermine their confidence. And it’s crucial to know these phrases, to replace them with more empowering ones.

In this piece, I’ll share the ten phrases that, if a woman uses frequently, might indicate she isn’t very confident or self-assured.

1) Just

In the realm of conversation, it’s often the little words that reveal the most about our self-assurance, or lack thereof.

One such word is “just”. This seemingly innocuous word can subtly undermine a woman’s confidence when used excessively.

Consider this scenario. A woman is offering her opinion in a meeting, and she begins with, “I just think…” That single word, “just,” inadvertently minimizes her opinion before she’s even expressed it. It’s as if she’s apologizing for having an opinion at all.

This isn’t to say that the word “just” should be entirely eliminated from our vocabulary. But if used excessively, it can paint a picture of a person who constantly seeks validation or approval from others, rather than standing firm in her own beliefs and ideas.

If you hear a woman frequently using “just” in her conversations, it may be a sign that she isn’t very confident or self-assured. And if that woman is you, consider this your wake-up call to embrace your opinions and ideas without hesitation or apology.

2) Sorry

I remember a time when I used to sprinkle the word “sorry” throughout my conversations like confetti. It was as if I was constantly apologizing for my existence.

“Sorry, can I just ask a question?” “Sorry, can I get past?” “Sorry, but I disagree.” The list goes on.

The problem with overusing “sorry” is that it can make a woman appear less confident and self-assured. It suggests she feels she’s intruding or overstepping, even when she’s not.

I realized this about myself and decided to make a change. Now, I’m mindful of how often I use “sorry”. I save it for when I genuinely need to apologize for something, not as a filler word or a way to soften my statements.

If you notice a woman saying “sorry” excessively in her conversations, it could indicate she lacks confidence or self-assuredness. And if you’re that woman, remember – there’s no need to apologize for taking up space or having an opinion!

3) I can’t

The phrase “I can’t” is another one that often indicates a lack of confidence or self-assuredness. It’s a definitive statement that shuts down possibilities before they’ve even been explored.

The truth is, language shapes our reality. Studies show that the words we use can affect our behavior. And when a woman constantly uses the phrase “I can’t”, she’s limiting herself and her potential.

The phrase “I can’t” closes off the opportunity for growth and learning. It’s a self-imposed limitation, and it reveals a lack of belief in one’s own abilities.

Replacing “I can’t” with “I’ll try” or “I’ll find a way” can make a big difference in one’s mindset and overall confidence levels.

4) I’m no expert, but…

This is a classic phrase that often signals a lack of self-assuredness. When a woman prefaces her ideas or opinions with “I’m no expert, but…”, she’s inadvertently diminishing the value of what she’s about to say.

Even if she’s not an authority on the topic, this phrase suggests she doesn’t trust her own judgment or insights enough to present them without a disclaimer.

In reality, most conversations don’t require expert knowledge. They’re about sharing ideas, thoughts, and perspectives. Yet, this phrase presents a roadblock to that exchange and undermines her contribution.

If you hear a woman using “I’m no expert, but…” frequently in her conversations, it may be an indication that she isn’t very confident or self-assured. It’s crucial to remember that your ideas and insights are valuable, even without the label of ‘expert’.

5) Does that make sense?

This phrase is a subtle confidence-killer. When a woman regularly ends her statements with “Does that make sense?”, she’s essentially questioning her own clarity and doubting her communication skills.

While it’s essential to ensure mutual understanding in conversation, overusing this phrase can make it seem like she’s unsure about her own thoughts and ideas.

Instead of assuming that she hasn’t made sense, a more confident way to check understanding would be to ask, “What are your thoughts?” or “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said?”

Confidence comes with acknowledging that your ideas are valid and well-articulated.

6) I’m not sure, but…

The phrase “I’m not sure, but…” can be a real confidence deflator. It’s like she’s casting a shadow of doubt over her own thoughts before anyone else has the chance to.

I’ve had many heartfelt conversations with women who continually use this phrase. Often, they’re unaware of how it diminishes the impact of their words.

In these conversations, I’ve seen a common thread: the fear of being wrong. But it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. It’s part of being human and it’s how we learn and grow.

So, when I hear a woman frequently saying “I’m not sure, but…” in her conversations, it’s a tell-tale sign she might be struggling with self-assurance.

It’s perfectly fine to assert your thoughts and beliefs without hedging them with uncertainty. Your voice and your ideas matter, even if they aren’t perfect or if you end up being wrong.

7) This might be a stupid question…

There was a time when I’d often start my questions with “This might be a stupid question…”. I didn’t want to appear uninformed or ignorant. But I’ve since realized that this phrase was just a reflection of my own insecurities.

The truth is, there are no stupid questions. Questions are how we learn, grow, and connect with others. Prefacing a question with this phrase implies that you believe your curiosity or need for clarification is a sign of stupidity, which isn’t the case.

Now, I ask questions without apology or preface. I’ve learned that it’s better to ask and learn than to remain silent and unsure.

See Also

If you hear a woman frequently using “This might be a stupid question…” in her conversations, it might be a sign that she isn’t very confident or self-assured. Remember, every question is a gateway to knowledge, and there’s no shame in seeking understanding.

8) I should have…

“I should have…” is a phrase that might seem like simple self-reflection, but it can actually be a confidence underminer. It indicates a woman is dwelling on past mistakes or missed opportunities and judging herself harshly for them.

This kind of self-criticism can erode confidence over time, as it reinforces the idea that she’s made a wrong choice or failed in some way.

Instead of dwelling on what could or should have been done differently, a more constructive approach would be to view past actions as learning experiences and focus on what can be done better moving forward.

If you hear a woman frequently using “I should have…” in her conversations, it may be an indication that she isn’t very confident or self-assured. Shifting from regret to learning can make a huge difference in one’s self-perception and overall confidence.

9) I feel like…

The phrase “I feel like…” can often indicate a lack of confidence or self-assuredness in women. This phrase is typically used as a cushion for sharing an opinion or making a statement, softening the impact of what’s being said.

While it’s important to express feelings, using “I feel like…” to preface opinions can unintentionally undermine the speaker’s authority and confidence in their own thoughts.

A more assertive and confident way to share an opinion would be to simply state it. For example, instead of saying “I feel like this project needs more attention,” say “This project needs more attention.”

If you hear a woman frequently using “I feel like…” in her conversations, it may be a sign that she isn’t very confident or self-assured. Remember, your opinions are valid and worthwhile, and you can express them with conviction.

10) I don’t know

The phrase “I don’t know” can be a critical indicator of a woman’s confidence or self-assuredness. While it’s okay to admit when you genuinely don’t know something, frequent use of this phrase can communicate uncertainty, hesitance, and a lack of confidence in one’s own knowledge or abilities.

Replacing “I don’t know” with more empowering phrases like “I’ll find out” or “Let me think about that” can make a significant difference in how a woman perceives herself and how others perceive her.

Remember, the phrases we choose, whether consciously or unconsciously, can greatly influence our self-confidence. Choose words that empower you, validate your thoughts, and assert your presence.

Final thoughts

The role of language in shaping our realities cannot be overstated. It’s through words that we express ourselves, share our thoughts, and interact with the world around us.

But language also has a profound effect on how we perceive ourselves. The phrases we choose can either empower us or undermine our confidence.

For women struggling with self-assuredness, being mindful of the phrases they use can be a significant step towards boosting their confidence. It’s not about fabricating a facade of confidence. It’s about truly believing in oneself and communicating that belief effectively.

As American author and motivational speaker, Les Brown, once said, “You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life.” By replacing disempowering phrases with more assertive ones, women can start to overcome this obstacle and step into their power.

So next time you catch yourself using these phrases, pause. Reflect upon it. And remember, your words have power – use them wisely.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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