There’s a world of difference between a genuine man and one who only puts on a good act.
This difference boils down to behavior. A man who engages in harmful actions, while masking them with charm, isn’t exactly a knight in shining armor.
On the flip side, a truly good man may not always be smooth or perfect, but his actions speak volumes about his character.
In my experience, there are 7 specific behaviors that are telltale signs of a not-so-good man. And let me tell you, recognizing them can save you from a whole lot of heartache.
Below, I’m going to discuss these behaviors and hopefully, help you separate the wheat from the chaff.
1) He’s consistently selfish
In the realm of personal relationships, few things are as damaging as persistent selfishness.
And trust me, you’ll notice it in a man who’s not so good at heart.
Often, you’ll find yourself in situations where compromise or sacrifice is required. This is where true character shines.
A man who consistently puts his needs and desires before yours, without considering your feelings or perspective, is waving a big red flag.
I’m not saying that he always has to put you first. That’s not realistic or healthy. But if you notice a pattern of him disregarding your needs for his own benefit, that’s a clear sign of selfishness.
Recognizing this behavior can be the first step in understanding whether he’s truly a good person or just masquerading as one.
Remember, a good relationship involves give and take. If he’s only taking, well, that’s probably not a good sign.
2) He doesn’t respect boundaries
In my life, I’ve been fortunate to meet many wonderful men. However, I’ve also had encounters with those who couldn’t grasp the concept of respecting boundaries.
I recall dating one man who would consistently disregard my need for personal space. Whether it was showing up unannounced or pushing me into conversations I wasn’t ready to have, he seemed oblivious to the fact that boundaries existed for a reason.
It’s essential to understand that a good man knows the importance of boundaries. He understands that respecting your space, time, and decisions is fundamental to a healthy relationship.
If a man constantly oversteps or dismisses your boundaries, it’s a clear indication that he doesn’t value your feelings or comfort. And that, my friend, is a sure sign he’s probably not a good person.
3) He’s unkind to those who can’t benefit him
A man’s true character can be revealed by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him. This sentiment is backed up by psychology and many social studies.
You see, it’s easy to be kind when there’s potential gain. A man who is nice to his boss, his wealthy friend, or an attractive woman isn’t necessarily good-hearted.
However, observing how he interacts with a waiter, a homeless person, or even a stray animal can give you a more accurate picture of his character.
If he’s dismissive, disrespectful or outright unkind to those who can’t benefit him in any way, it’s a strong indication that he’s probably not a good person.
4) He avoids responsibility
Life is full of responsibilities and challenges, and a man’s willingness to face them speaks volumes about his character.
If a man constantly avoids responsibility, whether it’s in his personal or professional life, it’s a red flag. This behavior may manifest as blaming others for his mistakes, failing to follow through on commitments, or even avoiding difficult conversations.
A good man understands that he is responsible for his actions and their consequences. He holds himself accountable even when things go wrong.
So if you notice a pattern of him shying away from responsibility, it’s likely he’s not the good person he may portray himself to be.
5) He’s dishonest
I’ve often found that honesty is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship. I once dated a man who had a habit of telling little white lies. It started off small, so small that I brushed them off. But as time went on, the lies grew bigger and more frequent, causing a rift between us.
Dishonesty, in any form, breaks trust. And without trust, a relationship can’t thrive. A good man understands this and values honesty, even when the truth is uncomfortable or difficult.
If a man is frequently dishonest with you or others, it’s a clear sign that he’s probably not as good of a person as he appears to be.
6) He’s overly critical and negative
Constructive criticism is a part of life. We all need it to grow and improve. But there’s a big difference between helpful feedback and constant negativity.
A man who is excessively critical or negative can drain your energy and undermine your self-esteem. He may find fault in everything you do, constantly belittle you, or spread negativity about others around him.
A good man, on the other hand, knows how to give constructive feedback without tearing others down. He uplifts those around him instead of bringing them down.
So if you’re dealing with a man who’s constantly critical and negative, he’s probably not the good person you thought he was.
7) He lacks empathy
At the heart of every good person is the ability to empathize with others. Empathy is the capacity to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s what allows us to connect with others on a deeper level.
A man who lacks empathy will struggle to understand your feelings or point of view. He may dismiss your emotions, fail to comfort you in times of need, or struggle to celebrate your successes.
The absence of empathy in a man is a clear sign that he’s probably not a good person. Understanding and sharing emotions is fundamental to any healthy relationship, and without it, authentic connection is almost impossible.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
The complexities of human behavior and character often boil down to one fundamental trait: respect.
Respect for oneself and, more importantly, respect for others. If a man displays the 7 behaviors we’ve discussed, it’s likely that he lacks this fundamental trait.
Remember, a good man respects boundaries, is honest, empathetic, and responsible. He values your feelings, respects your space, and treats others kindly regardless of what they can offer him.
If you’re dealing with a man who consistently displays these negative behaviors, it might be time to reconsider whether he’s the kind of person you want in your life.
After all, we all deserve respect and kindness. And sometimes, recognizing the absence of these fundamental traits is the first step towards a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
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