I always lacked confidence when I met new people, until I mastered these 8 body language tricks

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.

Over the last 15 years, I’ve dedicated my life to reading and studying everything I could get my hands on about human psychology.

My goal?

To find practical ways to hack our mindsets and improve our lives for the better.

And one thing that used to really hold me back was meeting new people.

I always felt a little awkward, a bit unsure, and let’s face it, not exactly brimming with confidence.

But as I delved deeper into psychology, I discovered the incredible power of body language.

And guess what?

I found 8 simple body language tricks that completely transformed how I interact with new people.

No more awkwardness. No more uncertainty. Just confident, positive interactions that leave a real impression.

And today, I’m going to share these 8 body language tricks with you.

So if you’ve ever felt a little shy, uncertain or just plain awkward when meeting new people, this is for you.

Let’s dive in and boost that confidence together.

1. The Power of Eye Contact.

Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways to express confidence.

But let’s be clear, I’m not talking about a creepy, unblinking stare. I’m talking about maintaining a steady, relaxed gaze that shows you’re actively engaged in the conversation.

Why is this important?

Because when you make eye contact, you’re showing the other person that you’re confident and secure. You’re telling them that you’re interested in what they have to say. And that you respect them enough to give them your full attention.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: “But I get nervous and it’s hard to maintain eye contact!”

And I get it, it can be tough. But here’s a practical tip:

Try the “triangle technique”. Instead of focusing on just one eye, let your gaze naturally shift between both eyes and their mouth.

This not only makes maintaining eye contact easier, but it also gives the impression of being genuinely engaged in the conversation. Give it a try next time you’re having a chat with someone new!

2. Stand Tall and Proud.

Body posture is another major player in the game of first impressions. Slouching or hunching over can make you appear less confident, even if you’re not feeling that way.

On the other hand, standing tall and proud signals to others that you’re self-assured and comfortable in your own skin.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I wasn’t always great at this. I used to have a bit of a slouch, and I didn’t even realize how much it was affecting how people saw me.

But once I started making a conscious effort to improve my posture, I noticed a significant difference in how people responded to me.

Imagine a string attached to the top of your head, pulling your body upwards. Your shoulders should be back and relaxed, your chest open, and your head held high. Think of it as “standing tall”, rather than “standing stiff”.

It might feel a bit strange at first, but with practice, it’ll become second nature.

3. Mirror Their Movements.

Mirroring someone’s movements or body language is a powerful psychological tool. It subtly communicates that you’re on the same wavelength, building a sense of connection and understanding.

But this isn’t about mimicking them like a parrot. It’s about subtly reflecting their gestures, expressions, or body language in a natural way.

And I’ll be honest, it’s not always easy to do without feeling a bit self-conscious at first.

But that’s where practice comes into play. As with anything new, it takes time to become comfortable with it.

In fact, this was one of the techniques I learned while reading life coach Jeanette Brown’s book, A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World.

Jeanette’s insights on mirroring and other psychological tools were a game changer for me.

So here’s your practical tip:

Start by simply matching the other person’s energy level in conversation. If they’re speaking slowly and calmly, do the same. If they’re excited and animated, match their enthusiasm (without going overboard).

And remember, this is about building connection and empathy, not imitation. Give it a try! You might be surprised at how quickly you can create a strong rapport with someone new.

4. Embrace the Silence.

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t meeting new people all about conversation and interaction? Well, yes. But silence plays a crucial role too.

You see, comfortable silences can actually demonstrate confidence and comfortability. It shows that you’re not desperate to fill every moment with chatter. That you’re okay with just being present with the other person.

But here’s the thing:

We often feel the need to fill every silence because it’s uncomfortable. I know I used to do this all the time. But once I realized the power of comfortable silence, it was a game changer.

When you find yourself in a conversation with a lull, resist the urge to immediately fill it with words. Instead, allow the moment to breathe. You might be surprised at how it can deepen the connection and make you appear more confident and comfortable in your own skin.

5. Use Open Gestures.

Our body language speaks volumes about us. And one of the most effective ways to communicate confidence and openness is through our gestures.

Now, when I say open gestures, I mean things like spreading your arms wide, showing your palms, or uncrossing your legs and arms. These gestures signal to the other person that you’re open, trustworthy, and engaged in the conversation.

I remember when I first started implementing this trick. I used to be a bit of a closed-off person physically – always crossing my arms or legs.

But once I started consciously using more open gestures, I noticed people responded to me differently. They seemed more relaxed around me and more engaged in our conversations.

When you’re in a conversation, be mindful of your body language. Are you crossing your arms or legs? Are you hunched over? Try to adopt more open postures and gestures. You’ll be amazed at how it can change the dynamics of your interactions.

6. Stop Fidgeting.

Yep, I’m going to be brutally honest here. Fidgeting is a dead giveaway of nervousness or discomfort. And trust me, people notice it.

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Whether it’s tapping your foot, playing with your hair, or constantly adjusting your clothes – these little movements can undermine the image of confidence you’re trying to project.

I used to be a serial fidgeter, especially when I was nervous. And it wasn’t until someone pointed it out to me that I realized how much it was affecting my interactions.

But once I became aware of it, I was able to start working on keeping my nervous energy in check.

So here’s a practical tip:

Start becoming more aware of your body and its movements. Do you tap your foot when you’re nervous? Do you play with your hair when you’re unsure? Noticing these habits is the first step towards breaking them.

7. Smile More.

A simple, genuine smile can be a game-changer in any social interaction. It’s welcoming, it’s disarming, and it communicates positivity and confidence.

As the great philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

And it’s true.

Smiling not only makes others feel good, but it also boosts our own mood and confidence levels.

But remember, it has to be genuine. A fake or forced smile can be worse than no smile at all.

Next time you’re meeting someone new, greet them with a warm, genuine smile. Even if you’re feeling a bit nervous or unsure, try to find something to smile about. You’ll be amazed at how much it can change the tone of your interaction.

8. Speak Slowly and Clearly.

We often have a tendency to speed up our speech when we’re nervous or unsure.

I know I used to do this all the time.

But rushing through your words can make you appear less confident and can also make it hard for the other person to follow what you’re saying.

On the other hand, speaking slowly and clearly communicates confidence and control. It shows that you value what you have to say, and it also gives the other person time to fully absorb your words.

When you catch yourself rushing through your words, take a deep breath and consciously slow down. Try to enunciate each word clearly and take pauses where necessary.

Not only will this make you appear more confident, but it will also improve the quality of your conversations.

Conclusion

Each of these tips has personally helped me improve my interactions and feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin.

But remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, practice, and a lot of self-awareness.

So don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get it right immediately.

Keep practicing, stay patient, and most importantly, always strive to be authentic and genuine in your interactions.

And for more insights on how to improve your confidence and overall happiness, I highly recommend checking out Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World.

The book is filled with practical advice and psychological tools that can help you navigate through life’s challenges with ease and grace.