We’ve all been there—walking away from a conversation feeling like we’ve just handed over our power on a silver platter.
Sometimes, it’s not what we say that holds us back but how we say it. The truth is, certain phrases can unintentionally make us seem unsure, apologetic, or overly accommodating.
The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck in this pattern.
By simply cutting a few sneaky, self-sabotaging phrases from your vocabulary, you can instantly project more confidence and authority in any conversation.
It’s not about being rude or dismissive—it’s about valuing your voice and showing others you mean business.
If you’re ready to take charge of your words and stop giving away your power, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight phrases for good.
Trust me, you’ll feel the difference almost immediately.
1) I’m sorry, but…
Let’s start with a big one. How often do you catch yourself apologizing when there’s no real reason to?
Saying “I’m sorry, but…” has become a filler phrase for many of us—a way to soften what we’re about to say or avoid coming across as too direct.
But here’s the problem: every unnecessary apology chips away at your confidence and makes you seem less self-assured.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with apologizing when it’s truly warranted. But overusing this phrase sends the message that you’re second-guessing yourself or asking for permission to have an opinion.
Instead, try skipping the apology altogether and getting straight to the point. You’ll sound more confident, and people will take your words more seriously.
So, unless you’ve genuinely done something wrong, it’s time to say goodbye to this phrase for good.
2) Does that make sense?
I used to say this all the time. Whether I was explaining an idea in a meeting or just sharing my thoughts with a friend, I’d almost always end with, “Does that make sense?”
At the time, I thought I was being polite—checking in to make sure I wasn’t confusing anyone. But looking back, I realize how much power I was giving away with those four little words.
Here’s the thing: every time I said it, I was subtly implying that what I had just communicated might not be clear or valid. It made me sound unsure of myself, even when I knew exactly what I was talking about.
One day, a colleague pointed it out to me after a presentation. She said, “You nailed it, but you didn’t need to ask if it made sense. Of course it did!” That moment was a wake-up call.
Instead of using this phrase, now I end my sentences with confidence and let others ask questions if they need clarification. It’s a small tweak, but it’s made a huge difference in how people perceive me—and how I perceive myself.
3) I just wanted to…
The word “just” might seem harmless, but it’s one of the sneakiest ways we undermine ourselves in conversations.
Adding “just” to a sentence—like “I just wanted to check in” or “I just wanted to ask”—makes your statement sound smaller than it actually is, as if you’re apologizing for even speaking up. It downplays your presence and subtly signals that what you’re saying isn’t all that important.
Research has shown that women, in particular, are more likely to use minimizing language like this, often as a way to seem less imposing or more agreeable.
But in reality, this habit can diminish how others perceive your confidence and authority. Dropping the word “just” from your sentences instantly makes you sound more assertive and self-assured.
Next time you’re about to say “I just wanted to,” stop yourself and rephrase. Say what you need to say clearly and directly—you’ll command more respect without even trying.
4) I think…
At first glance, “I think” might sound completely harmless. After all, it’s a natural way to express your opinion, right?
But when used too often—or in the wrong context—it can weaken the impact of your words. Saying “I think we should…” or “I think this is the right direction…” can come across as tentative, as if you’re not fully confident in your own ideas.
This phrase is often a reflex, a way to soften what we’re saying so it doesn’t come across as too strong. But here’s the catch: when you hedge your opinions with “I think,” it gives others room to doubt you—or worse, overlook your input altogether.
Confident people state their ideas directly. Instead of “I think we should try this,” say, “We should try this.” It’s a subtle shift in language that makes a big difference.
Of course, there are moments when adding “I think” is perfectly appropriate—like when brainstorming or offering a suggestion that’s open for discussion. But if you’re sharing an idea you believe in, drop the qualifiers and own it fully.
5) You probably know more about this than me…
This one hits close to home for so many of us. It’s the phrase we use when we’re trying to be humble, to acknowledge someone else’s expertise or experience.
And while the intention might come from a good place, this phrase can unintentionally diminish your own value in the conversation. It tells the other person, “What I have to say probably doesn’t matter as much as what you already know.”
Here’s the truth: your voice matters. Your perspective matters. Even if the person you’re speaking with does know more about a particular topic, that doesn’t mean your input lacks value.
Conversations are about sharing ideas, not ranking knowledge. When you preemptively put yourself “below” someone else, you’re giving away your power before they’ve even had a chance to hear you out.
Instead of starting with doubt, start with confidence. Share your thoughts without disclaimers or caveats. Trust that your insights are worth hearing—and let others see that trust in the way you speak.
You don’t have to know everything to contribute something meaningful.
6) I’m not an expert, but…
For the longest time, this phrase was my go-to whenever I wanted to share my thoughts on something. It felt safer to preface my ideas with a disclaimer, a way to protect myself from being judged if someone disagreed.
But every time I said those words, I could feel the weight of them—like I was shrinking myself before I even had the chance to be heard.
Saying “I’m not an expert, but…” is like putting up a sign that says, “Feel free to dismiss what I’m about to say.” It tells people you don’t fully trust your own voice, which makes it harder for them to trust it too.
The truth is, you don’t have to be an expert to have valuable insights. Your experiences, observations, and ideas are enough.
These days, I’ve learned to skip the disclaimers and speak with conviction. Yes, there will always be someone who knows more about a subject than I do—but that doesn’t mean my perspective isn’t worth sharing.
When you take ownership of your words without downplaying them, people are far more likely to listen—and respect what you have to say.
7) Whatever you think is best…
On the surface, this phrase can seem like you’re being easy-going or flexible. But in reality, it often signals that you’re stepping back from expressing your own needs, preferences, or opinions.
While there are times when deferring to someone else’s expertise is appropriate, overusing this phrase can make it seem like you lack confidence in your ability to contribute or decide.
The danger here isn’t just in letting others make decisions for you—it’s in sending the message that your input doesn’t matter. When you default to “whatever you think is best,” you’re giving away an opportunity to advocate for yourself and shape the outcome of a situation.
Even worse, it can lead to resentment later on if the decision doesn’t align with what you truly wanted.
Instead, try expressing your thoughts clearly and directly. If you genuinely don’t have a strong preference, say something like, “I’m open to ideas, but here’s what I was thinking.” This way, you stay part of the conversation without diminishing your voice.
Assertiveness doesn’t mean being rigid; it means showing that your perspective matters. And it does.
8) I’ll try…
There’s a world of difference between “I’ll try” and “I will.”
When you say, “I’ll try,” you leave room for doubt—not just in the minds of others, but in your own. It’s a phrase that teeters on uncertainty, suggesting you’re not fully committed or confident in your ability to follow through.
And whether you realize it or not, it sets the tone for how others perceive your capability.
Replacing “I’ll try” with “I will” is more than just a linguistic shift—it’s a mindset shift. It shows you believe in yourself and your ability to take action, regardless of the challenges ahead.
Confidence isn’t about knowing you’ll succeed; it’s about showing up fully and giving it everything you’ve got. When you choose your words with conviction, people will feel that energy—and so will you.
Bottom line: Your words shape your reality
The language you use doesn’t just influence how others see you—it shapes how you see yourself.
Every word you choose carries weight, subtly reinforcing either your confidence or your doubts. Over time, these patterns of speech become habits, and those habits can dictate how much power you hold in conversations and, ultimately, in your life.
Research in psychology has shown that the words we use not only reflect our mindset but actively mold it. Negative or minimizing language can create a feedback loop, making you feel smaller and less capable over time.
But the reverse is also true: when you speak with clarity, conviction, and purpose, you start to embody those qualities.
So, the next time you’re in a conversation, pause and reflect on what your words are saying about you—not just to others but to yourself. Are they building you up or holding you back?
Choosing your words carefully isn’t just about communication; it’s about reclaiming your power. Because when you speak like someone who values their own voice, the world can’t help but listen.
