Some people lift us up, while others leave us feeling exhausted.
We all have those people in our lives—the ones who drain our energy, whether they mean to or not. Maybe it’s a friend who constantly complains, a coworker who thrives on drama, or a family member who always needs something from you.
Dealing with them doesn’t mean cutting them out completely (though sometimes that’s necessary). Instead, it’s about setting boundaries and protecting your own well-being.
Here are eight ways to cope with people who drain your energy—without losing yourself in the process.
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1) Recognize the signs
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Some people drain your energy without you even realizing it.
It might be the friend who always turns the conversation back to themselves, the coworker who constantly complains, or the family member who leaves you feeling guilty no matter what you do.
The first step in coping with these energy-draining people is to recognize how they affect you. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel exhausted? Anxious? Frustrated?
Once you’re aware of the impact they have on your well-being, you can start taking steps to protect your energy.
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2) Set clear boundaries
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I used to have a friend who would call me at all hours just to vent about her problems. At first, I wanted to be there for her—I thought that’s what a good friend should do.
But over time, I noticed that our conversations were completely one-sided. She would unload all of her stress onto me, but never ask how I was doing. After every call, I felt drained and emotionally exhausted.
Eventually, I realized I had to set boundaries. I let her know that while I cared about her, I couldn’t always be available to listen. At first, it was uncomfortable, but over time, she started respecting my limits.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re taking care of yourself too.
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3) Limit your exposure
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Not everyone in your life deserves unlimited access to your time and energy.
Studies have shown that our emotional state is heavily influenced by the people around us. In fact, emotions—both positive and negative—can be contagious, spreading from one person to another without us even realizing it.
If someone constantly drains your energy, consider reducing the time you spend with them. This doesn’t mean completely cutting them off (unless necessary), but rather being intentional about how often and in what situations you interact with them.
Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being.
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4) Don’t try to fix them
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It’s natural to want to help people, especially when they’re struggling. But some people don’t actually want solutions—they just want to vent, complain, or stay stuck in their negativity.
Trying to “fix” them will only drain you even more. You’ll spend your energy offering advice, only to watch them ignore it and repeat the same patterns.
Instead of taking on the responsibility of solving their problems, shift your mindset. You can offer support without taking on their emotional burden. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen, acknowledge their feelings, and then move on without getting emotionally invested.
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5) Prioritize your own well-being
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You can’t pour from an empty cup.
When you’re constantly giving your energy to others—especially those who drain it—you risk neglecting your own needs. And the truth is, you deserve the same care and attention that you so freely give to others.
Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it’s setting aside quiet moments to recharge, surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, or simply saying no when you need to, prioritizing your well-being allows you to show up as your best self.
You have every right to protect your peace. And the more you take care of yourself, the less power energy-draining people will have over you.
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6) Accept that some relationships will change
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Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
There comes a point when you realize that holding on to certain people is more exhausting than letting them go. You try to make things work, to be patient, to give them the benefit of the doubt. But deep down, you know the dynamic isn’t healthy.
It’s hard to accept, but sometimes, the best thing you can do is create distance. Not out of anger or resentment, but out of self-respect. Some people won’t understand why you’ve pulled away, and that’s okay. Your job isn’t to explain yourself—it’s to protect your energy and emotional well-being.
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7) Redirect the conversation
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Some people thrive on negativity, but that doesn’t mean you have to engage with it.
If someone is constantly complaining, gossiping, or dwelling on problems without seeking solutions, try steering the conversation in a different direction. Ask them about something positive in their life or shift the focus to a lighter, more constructive topic.
Not everyone will take the hint, but many will follow your lead. And if they don’t? That’s a sign that you may need to limit how much time you spend in those conversations.
You don’t have to absorb someone else’s negativity—sometimes, all it takes is a simple redirection to protect your energy.
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8) Remember that you have a choice
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You don’t have to engage in every conversation, attend every gathering, or be available every time someone needs you. You get to decide who has access to your time, energy, and emotional space.
It’s easy to feel obligated—to feel like you owe people your attention, your patience, or your help. But the truth is, you don’t. Protecting your energy is your right, and walking away from what drains you isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
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bottom line: protecting your energy is protecting yourself
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The people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our emotional and mental well-being. Science even backs this up—research has shown that emotions can be contagious, influencing our mood and stress levels without us even realizing it.
This is why protecting your energy isn’t just about dealing with difficult people; it’s about safeguarding your own peace, health, and happiness.
You have more control than you think. You get to decide how much space someone takes up in your life, how much energy you’re willing to give, and when it’s time to step away.
And the more you honor your own needs, the more you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who uplift rather than drain you.
