8 traits of parents of children who are a handful to control

Parenting is an art, and it gets colorful when your kid is a handful.

There’s a fine line between managing this spirited energy and suppressing it. It’s all in the way we, as parents, react and respond.

You see, there are certain traits that parents of challenging children often share. And understanding these traits can help us guide our little ones without dampening their spirits.

Let me share with you eight such traits that parents of dynamic kids tend to have. This isn’t about blame–it’s about understanding and adapting. Trust me, it could make all the difference.

1) Unflinching patience

Patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a necessity when you’re a parent to a child who’s a handful.

These kids are brimming with energy, curiosity and a relentless desire to explore. And that can test even the most patient of parents.

Yet, parents who can maintain their calm amidst the whirlwind of activity often manage to steer their child’s energy toward constructive pursuits.

Remember, patience isn’t about suppressing your child’s spirit. It’s about providing the space they need to channel their energy effectively.

But how do we cultivate this unflinching patience? It starts with understanding your child, and accepting that their spirited nature isn’t a flaw—it’s just who they are. Once we accept this, patience follows naturally.

Now, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. But it’s certainly worth the effort.

2) Adaptability

Here’s something I’ve learned from my own experience as a parent: you’ve got to be flexible.

I remember when my little one was going through a phase of throwing tantrums in public places. It was challenging, to say the least. But I realized that trying to control or suppress his emotions wasn’t the solution.

Instead, I learned to adapt. I started carrying his favorite storybook, a set of crayons and a sketchpad everywhere we went. Whenever he would start to feel overwhelmed, we would sit down, and I’d divert his attention to sketching or reading.

The result? The tantrums became less frequent. My little one learned to express himself in different ways, and I learned a valuable lesson about the importance of adaptability.

Adaptability means changing your strategies based on your child’s needs. It’s about being open-minded and understanding that what worked yesterday might not work today.

And trust me, this trait can be a game-changer when you’re parenting a child who’s a handful.

3) Consistency

Consistency is key when it comes to parenting, especially with children who can be a handful.

In a study conducted by the University of Virginia, researchers found that children who experienced consistent and predictable patterns in their daily lives had better emotional health and academic performance.

Children, particularly those with high energy levels, thrive on routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. This isn’t about creating rigid schedules, but rather about establishing predictable patterns.

For instance, having a consistent bedtime routine can help your child wind down and prepare for sleep. Similarly, regular meal times can help them understand when it’s time to eat.

Remember, consistency doesn’t mean monotony. It’s about creating a safe and predictable environment where your child can explore and grow.

4) Empathy

Empathy isn’t just about understanding your child’s feelings. It’s about validating them.

Children who are a handful often have big emotions. They can feel joy and excitement more intensely, but they can also experience anger and frustration at the same level.

As parents, it’s crucial to empathize with these feelings. When your child is upset, it’s not enough to simply acknowledge their feelings. We need to communicate that we understand and respect these emotions.

For instance, instead of saying “I understand you’re upset,” try saying “I can see that you’re really angry because your toy broke.” This not only validates their feelings but also helps them understand and manage their emotions better.

Remember, empathy fosters connection. And when your child feels connected to you, they’re more likely to listen to your guidance.

5) Unconditional love

Parenting is a roller-coaster ride. It’s filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, especially when you have a child who’s a handful.

But through all the challenges and triumphs, one thing remains constant: unconditional love.

Unconditional love isn’t just about loving your child when they’re on their best behavior. It’s about loving them even more when they’re not. It’s about showing them that your love isn’t tied to their actions or behaviors.

When your child is having a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket, it can be tough. But remember, they’re not giving you a hard time; they’re having a hard time.

In these moments, instead of reacting with frustration, react with love. A hug, a gentle word, or even a loving look can help your child feel secure and loved despite their challenging behavior.

Remember, unconditional love is the greatest gift we can give our children. It reassures them that no matter how difficult things get, our love for them will never waver.

6) Self-care

Raising a child who’s a handful can often feel like a marathon without a finish line. There are days when it seems like the energy and challenges are endless.

It was during one such phase that I found myself completely drained, both physically and emotionally. And that’s when I realized the importance of self-care.

You see, to take care of our children, we need to take care of ourselves first. It’s like the oxygen mask principle on an airplane. We need to secure our own masks before helping others.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it’s taking a few minutes to meditate, going for a run, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in peace, these little acts of self-love can replenish your energy and patience.

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Because remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So make sure you’re taking care of yourself too.

7) Open communication

Communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity. This holds especially true when you’re parenting a child who’s a handful.

Open communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening. It’s about giving your child the space to express their thoughts and feelings, and responding with understanding and respect.

But it’s not always easy. Kids often express themselves in ways that we, as adults, might find difficult to understand. But remember, their feelings are just as real and important as ours.

So when your child is having a hard time, instead of dismissing their feelings, try to engage in open communication. Ask questions, show interest, and most importantly, listen.

Remember, open communication fosters trust. And trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, including the one between you and your child.

8) Resilience

The journey of parenting a child who’s a handful can be tough. There will be days of frustration, exhaustion, and self-doubt. But amidst all this, resilience is what keeps us going.

Resilience isn’t about being immune to stress or hardship. It’s about bouncing back stronger and wiser from these experiences. It’s about learning to ride the waves of challenges instead of getting swept away.

Resilience is not just a trait; it’s a skill that can be cultivated. And the first step towards building resilience is acceptance. Acceptance of your child’s unique temperament, acceptance of your own feelings, and acceptance of the fact that there will be good days and bad days.

So remember, when the going gets tough, take a deep breath, summon your resilience, and remember: You’ve got this.

Final thoughts: Embracing the challenge

Parenting is often compared to a journey. And when your child is a handful, this journey might feel more like an uphill climb.

But remember, every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing. The climb might be tough, but the view from the top is always worth it.

In a study conducted by the University of California, researchers found that parents of challenging children often exhibit higher levels of resilience and adaptability. They are better equipped to handle stress and exhibit stronger problem-solving skills.

So perhaps, parenting a child who’s a handful isn’t a burden but an opportunity. An opportunity to grow, to learn, and to become stronger.

So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember: You’re not just raising a child; you’re rising to the challenge. And in that process, you’re becoming a better version of yourself.

Embrace the challenge. Cherish the journey. After all, these are the days that will shape your child’s future and redefine your own strength.

Because at the end of the day, our children are not just our biggest challenges; they are also our greatest teachers.

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Isabelle Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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