Ever had that nagging sense that you have no idea what you’re doing with your life, only to discover later that you were actually making all the right moves?
I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit. As a practicing counselor (and a long-time overthinker), I’ve noticed that feeling lost can, ironically, be a sign that something is going right beneath the surface.
I know—when you’re stuck in that limbo, it’s not a walk in the park. But trust me, there are habits that indicate you’re inching toward the life you really want, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Let’s explore these nine habits. Chances are, if you see yourself in them, you’re in a better place than you think.
1) They keep questioning their path
People who appear lost are usually the ones who can’t stop asking themselves questions: “Is this career right for me? Do I really enjoy living in this city? What if I tried something different?”
I’ve been there in my own life. Years ago, I was juggling a small counseling practice and wrestling with the idea of expanding into writing. My mind kept me up at night with a million questions—Was I qualified enough? Would people read what I wrote?
In hindsight, that relentless questioning was my brain’s way of signaling that I wanted more out of life.
Tony Robbins often says, “The quality of your life is the quality of your questions.” When you’re constantly in inquiry-mode, you’re refusing to settle. Rather than coasting on autopilot, you’re challenging yourself to consider alternatives and possibilities.
Those who never ask “Why?” or “What if?” might actually be stuck, while you, the one feeling “lost,” are simply exploring new horizons.
2) They experiment with small changes
If you’re unsure about your future but find yourself tinkering with new routines, pursuing fresh interests, or switching up your daily schedule, you might be on the right path without even knowing it.
One of the biggest indicators of personal growth is the willingness to try something different—even if it’s a minor tweak.
For instance, I recall a period when I was testing out new fitness routines (yoga in the mornings, weightlifting in the evenings), changing my morning beverage from coffee to green tea, and seeing how I felt after a week. None of these experiments felt like a major life change. Yet, one by one, these small shifts added up to a healthier, more energized version of me.
As leadership guru Stephen Covey has noted, big transformations are often the result of “small daily changes, repeated over time.” So if you’re out there experimenting, give yourself some credit. You might think you’re lost, but you’re actually gathering crucial data on what works and what doesn’t.
3) They reflect on their emotions (even the messy ones)
Most people who feel lost are no strangers to emotional chaos.
Anxiety, self-doubt, regret, hope, excitement—the whole rollercoaster. Yet those who pause to reflect on this swirl of feelings are often doing some of the hardest yet most important work.
Brené Brown has spoken at length about the power of leaning into vulnerability, insisting that “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen.”
If you’re navigating your mixed emotions—journaling about them, talking them through with someone you trust, or simply allowing yourself to feel them without judgment—you’re doing the kind of deep, introspective work that leads to clarity.
Back when I was writing my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, there were days I felt completely overwhelmed. But instead of pushing those feelings away, I documented them, analyzed them, and saw them as a window into my deeper motives.
Looking back, those uncomfortable emotions were a compass, guiding me toward the issues I needed to address both personally and professionally.
4) They look for wisdom outside their comfort zone
Another surefire sign of being secretly on the right path is that you actively seek new perspectives.
Maybe you’re picking up a book that’s totally different from your usual reads, listening to podcasts about entrepreneurship when you’re not even sure you want a business, or chatting with friends in different industries to see how they approach life.
Daniel Goleman, well-known for his work on emotional intelligence, emphasizes the importance of openness in developing self-awareness. When we expose ourselves to ideas and cultures that differ from our own, we expand our mental toolkit and discover fresh possibilities.
You might feel lost precisely because you’re stepping away from the familiar. But that’s often when transformation happens.
Imagine staying in your comfort zone forever. Sure, it might feel safe, but you’ll never find that spark that comes from learning something new and realizing you want to incorporate it into your life.
5) They appreciate the power of solitude
I know it can be tough.
When you feel lost, solitude can feel like loneliness. But I’ve come to see that solitude is rarely about being lonely; it’s about carving out the mental space to hear your own voice.
Susan Cain, author of Quiet, has highlighted how solitude can fuel creativity, introspection, and true authenticity.
If you find yourself needing alone time more than ever before—going for walks in the park, turning off your phone for a couple of hours to read or journal, or just enjoying some peaceful reflection in a cozy corner of your home—you’re very likely sifting through your thoughts and priorities in a productive way.
Interestingly, I had a client once who felt extremely “lost” after leaving her corporate job. She started taking long solo hikes every weekend. After a few months, she discovered she had a passion for photography—something she’d never have realized if she hadn’t spent time alone in nature with her thoughts. Turns out her “lost” period was just a quiet transition into a more fulfilling career path.
6) They stay curious (and open to being wrong)
Ever notice that when you’re “lost,” you’re more apt to say things like, “I’m not totally sure, let me find out…” or “That’s an interesting viewpoint, I never thought about it that way”?
Embracing curiosity and being open to the possibility that you might need to revise your opinions are enormous signs of growth.
Sheryl Sandberg, in her books and talks, frequently points out that progress—especially personal progress—requires humility. Admitting you don’t have all the answers can feel vulnerable, but it’s often the very thing that leads you to discover the path that aligns with who you truly are.
When I was pivoting from a full-time counseling practice to a blend of writing and counseling, I had to confront the possibility that my old methods of doing business weren’t the only ways. That meant swallowing my pride a bit and learning from scratch about publishing, blogging, and engaging an online audience.
The outcome? A brand-new skill set and a fulfilling expansion of my career.
7) They find little moments of joy in the chaos
It might look like you’re stumbling from one mishap to another, but if, in the midst of all the confusion, you still notice the beautiful sunset, that perfect latte foam art, or a child’s laughter that makes you smile—guess what? You’re tuning into life’s simple joys. And that’s a big deal.
Michelle Obama once said, “You may not always have a comfortable life…but you can learn from it and make it meaningful.”
If you’re catching glimpses of beauty or pockets of happiness while you’re knee-deep in uncertainty, you’re practicing resilience. It’s a habit that speaks volumes about your ability to adapt and thrive, even if you feel you’re floundering.
In my own life, I’ve gone through seasons when nothing seemed to be going as planned—relationships felt strained, money was tight, and my direction in life seemed hazy. Still, a friend’s random joke or a quick trip to the bookstore could brighten my day. I clung to those joyful moments.
Over time, they became guideposts that reminded me not everything was so bleak and that hope was always around the corner.
8) They build supportive relationships (or strengthen old ones)
Feeling lost often leads people to seek out real connections—whether that means forging friendships with new people who share similar passions or deepening bonds with existing friends and family.
If you’re confiding in a trusted mentor, attending meet-ups, or even investing more time in calls with your best friend, you’re actually creating a strong safety net that can help you take bigger leaps in life.
This is backed by experts like Brené Brown, who underscores the significance of meaningful human connections. She notes that we’re wired for connection and that these relationships can give us the courage to move forward, even when the path is unclear.
I’ve had readers tell me how they felt unsure about their future but decided to join a weekly book club or a volunteer group. Through these communities, they found emotional and practical support that nudged them to keep pursuing their interests. It’s ironic—you might feel lost alone, but the moment you let others in, you realize you’re not alone at all.
9) They celebrate small wins, even if bigger goals feel murky
I’ve saved a big one for last, friends.
This might seem trivial, but recognizing your small wins—like finishing a chapter of a challenging book, managing a tough conversation gracefully, or completing that online course you signed up for—goes a long way in showing you’re on the right track.
Celebrating these minor achievements isn’t just about feeling good momentarily; it reinforces the habit of acknowledging progress.
A fascinating study by Harvard Business School’s Teresa Amabile found that making progress in meaningful work—no matter how small—inspires a positive inner work life. In other words, progress (even baby steps) is a powerful motivator.
When I first started blogging, I did it part-time. Hitting a milestone of five blog posts felt like a massive victory. It was a stepping stone that gave me the confidence to continue, eventually leading me to launch a series of articles on relationships and personal development.
So yes, pat yourself on the back for those mini-wins. They add up faster than you might imagine.
Final thoughts
Feeling lost can be unnerving, but it doesn’t mean you’re stuck or making all the wrong choices.
Quite often, it means you’re in transition. You’re exploring new territory, testing ideas, and discovering more about who you are and what you want.
As you might know, here at Blog Herald, we encourage recognizing these subtle signals because they can be your biggest clues that you’re growing in ways you never expected.
If you see yourself in these nine habits, give yourself some credit. Feeling lost might be the very thing that pushes you to find your unique path—one small step, reflection, and experiment at a time.
And if you ask me, that’s not just okay; it’s exactly where you need to be.
