When our kids are little, love and respect seem to come naturally.
They look up to us, trust us, and rely on us for everything but, as they grow older, things change.
The truth is, maintaining a strong bond with your children into their teenage years and adulthood isn’t just about being a good provider—it’s about how you treat them, listen to them, and respect them as individuals.
Unfortunately, certain habits—ones we may not even realize we have—can slowly push them away and, if we’re not careful, we risk damaging the connection we’ve worked so hard to build.
If you want to keep the love and respect of your children as they grow, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight harmful habits:
1) Stop dismissing their feelings
Emotions can be messy, unpredictable, and sometimes even irrational, but that doesn’t mean they don’t matter—especially when it comes to your kids.
As children grow up, they start experiencing more complex emotions, and how you respond to them plays a huge role in shaping their confidence and trust in you.
If you constantly brush off their feelings with phrases like “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not a big deal,” they’ll eventually stop coming to you when something is wrong.
They’ll learn to keep things to themselves, feeling unheard and invalidated.
Instead, practice listening.
Even if their emotions don’t make sense to you, they make sense to them—and that’s what matters.
2) Stop trying to control everything
I used to think that being a good parent meant always knowing best.
When my kids were younger, I made most of their decisions for them—what they wore, who they played with, even how they spent their free time.
It felt like I was guiding them in the right direction.
But as they got older, I started noticing something troubling.
Rather than coming to me for advice, they pulled away; instead of making their own choices with confidence, they hesitated, afraid of making the “wrong” decision.
That’s when I realized my need for control wasn’t helping them—it was holding them back.
I had to learn to step back, trust them more, and let them make mistakes.
Because as much as I want to protect them, I also want them to grow into independent, capable people who know how to think for themselves.
3) Stop criticizing more than you praise
The way you speak to your children becomes their inner voice.
If most of what they hear from you is criticism—pointing out their mistakes, telling them what they should have done better—they’ll internalize those words and start doubting themselves.
Studies show that children need to hear several positive comments to counteract just one negative remark.
Yet, many parents focus more on correcting their kids than encouraging them.
Over time, this can chip away at their self-esteem and make them feel like they’re never good enough.
That doesn’t mean you should ignore their mistakes, but it does mean you should be mindful of how often you acknowledge their efforts and strengths.
A simple “I’m proud of you” or “I appreciate how hard you worked on that” can go a long way in building a strong, loving relationship.
4) Stop expecting perfection
It’s natural to want the best for your kids—to see them succeed, make good choices, and avoid unnecessary struggles.
However, there’s a fine line between encouraging them to do their best and expecting them to be perfect.
When children feel like nothing they do is ever good enough, they develop a fear of failure.
Instead of taking risks and learning from mistakes, they may start avoiding challenges altogether, afraid of disappointing you.
The truth is, no one gets everything right all the time—not even us as parents.
Rather than setting impossible standards, show your kids that mistakes are a normal part of growth.
Praise their effort, support them when they fall short, and remind them that your love isn’t tied to their achievements.
5) Stop refusing to apologize
I used to believe that as a parent, I always had to be the authority—the one who was right, the one in control.
But over time, I realized something important: Refusing to apologize didn’t make me stronger as it just created distance between me and my kids.
There were times when I lost my temper, jumped to conclusions, or said something I regretted.
In those moments, I had a choice—I could pretend it didn’t happen, or I could own up to it.
When I started saying, “I’m sorry” and truly meaning it, something shifted.
My kids didn’t see me as weak; they saw me as human and, in return, they learned that apologizing is about respect, understanding, and keeping relationships strong.
6) Stop always putting them first
It might seem like putting your children above everything else is the ultimate sign of love but, if you constantly neglect your own needs, you’re not doing them—or yourself—any favors.
If they see you always exhausted, overwhelmed, and never making time for yourself, they’ll grow up thinking that’s what love and responsibility look like.
They might even feel guilty, believing they’re the reason you’re so drained.
Taking care of yourself—whether it’s setting boundaries, pursuing hobbies, or simply resting—isn’t selfish.
It teaches your children that self-respect and balance matter.
When you’re happier and healthier, you show up as a better parent too!
7) Stop dismissing their interests
Not every hobby or passion your child picks up will make sense to you.
Maybe they’re obsessed with a video game, a music genre you can’t stand, or a niche topic that seems pointless.
It’s easy to brush it off or tell them to focus on something more “useful,” but when you dismiss what they care about, you’re not just rejecting the hobby—you’re rejecting a part of them.
Kids want to feel understood and accepted, especially by their parents.
Even if their interests seem silly or temporary, showing curiosity and support can strengthen your bond.
Ask questions, listen without judgment, and let them share their excitement with you.
It might not seem like a big deal now, but these small moments of connection can mean everything to them.
8) Stop making love feel conditional
If your child feels like they have to earn your love—through good grades, perfect behavior, or meeting your expectations—they’ll grow up believing they’re only worthy when they succeed.
Love should never feel like a reward. It should be the one thing they can always count on, even when they fail, make mistakes, or disappoint you.
Knowing they are loved no matter what gives them the confidence to be themselves, take risks, and come to you when they need help instead of hiding their struggles.
Your child doesn’t need to be perfect to deserve your love—they just need to be yours.
Final thoughts
Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you can see that maintaining a strong relationship with your children isn’t about being a perfect parent—it’s about being a present, understanding, and respectful one.
Love and respect aren’t things you demand—they’re things you nurture through your actions, your words, and the way you make your child feel.
When kids grow up feeling truly seen and valued, they don’t just respect their parents—they cherish them.
Now, that kind of bond lasts a lifetime!
