First impressions matter. We all know it. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we may be sending out signals that make us come across as self-absorbed and insincere to new people.
This isn’t about changing who you are but becoming more aware of those little habits and behaviors that can unintentionally paint you in a negative light.
In this article, I’m going to share with you seven subtle behaviors that might be making you seem self-centered and insincere, even if that’s far from the truth.
Because trust me, nobody wants to be ‘that’ person in the room. So, let’s dive in and help you put your best foot forward.
1) Dominating conversations
We all love a good chat, don’t we? But there’s a fine line between engaging in a conversation and dominating it.
When you’re meeting new people, it’s crucial to remember that communication is a two-way street. If you find yourself doing most of the talking, it can easily come across as self-centered and insincere.
You might be brimming with exciting stories and insights, but remember, the other person probably has some to share too. When you monopolize the conversation, it might seem as though you’re not interested in what others have to say.
Make sure to balance speaking and listening. Ask more about them, show genuine interest in their experiences and opinions. This way, you’ll not only come across as more sincere but also learn something new!
2) Constantly checking your phone
Believe me, I’ve learned this one the hard way. I once had a new acquaintance point out how I was constantly glancing at my phone while we were having coffee.
I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. In my mind, I was giving her my full attention, but my sneaky phone-checking habit suggested otherwise. To her, it seemed like I was more interested in whatever was happening on my screen than in our conversation.
I quickly understood why this could come off as self-centered and insincere. It gives the impression that you’re preoccupied and aren’t fully present in the moment.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to keep my phone out of sight when I’m interacting with new people. It’s a small change, but it can significantly impact how others perceive you.
So, the next time you’re in a social setting, try to resist the urge to check your phone constantly. It might just make all the difference!
3) Not remembering names
Did you know that Dale Carnegie, the author of ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People‘, once said that a person’s name is, to them, the sweetest sound in any language?
Forgetting someone’s name after they’ve just been introduced can come across as self-centered. It might seem like you weren’t paying attention or that you don’t consider them important enough to remember.
On the other hand, making an effort to remember and use people’s names can make a huge difference in how sincere and interested you appear. It may take some practice, but it’ll be worth it when you see the difference it makes in your interactions.
Next time you meet someone new, make a conscious effort to remember their name – it’s a small gesture that speaks volumes.
4) Interrupting others
We’ve all been there. In the heat of a conversation, you have a brilliant point to make, and you’re worried you might forget it if you don’t say it immediately.
But here’s the thing: interrupting someone while they’re speaking can make you appear self-centered and insincere.
Interrupting can give off the impression that you believe your thoughts or opinions are more important than theirs. It can be perceived as a lack of respect for their contribution to the conversation.
Even if you have the most fantastic point to make, try to hold onto it until they’ve finished speaking. Believe me, showing patience and respect in this way can drastically improve the impression you give to new people.
5) Avoiding eye contact
I must confess, this was a hard one for me to master. I used to find maintaining eye contact a bit intimidating and would often find my gaze darting around the room while conversing.
However, I soon realized that not maintaining eye contact can make you appear disinterested or insincere. It can give the impression that you’re not fully engaged in the conversation or that you’re hiding something.
On the flip side, good eye contact can create a connection and show that you’re genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. It’s a powerful way to show respect and attentiveness.
While it might feel uncomfortable at first, try to maintain eye contact when you’re speaking with new people. It’s a simple change, but it can significantly improve how others perceive you.
6) Making everything about you
We all have that one friend who somehow manages to turn every conversation into a story about themselves. Don’t be that friend.
While it’s great to share experiences and personal anecdotes, constantly steering the conversation back to yourself can be off-putting. It can make you seem self-centered, as though you’re not interested in anyone else’s experiences or opinions.
Instead, show genuine interest in what others have to say. Ask questions, show empathy, and let them take center stage every once in a while.
Remember, a conversation is like a dance – it takes two to tango. Balance is key!
7) Not showing appreciation
This is perhaps the most important point of all. We all like to feel appreciated. It’s a basic human need.
When someone does something nice for you or shares something personal, failing to acknowledge it can make you seem self-centered and insincere.
A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate that’ can go a long way in making someone feel valued.
Never underestimate the power of gratitude. It’s the ultimate sign of sincerity and respect. So always remember to express your appreciation when it’s due. It can make all the difference in how you’re perceived by new people.
Final thoughts: We’re all a work in progress
Navigating human interactions isn’t always straightforward. Every person we meet is a unique blend of experiences, thoughts, and emotions, and how we come across can depend on countless variables.
However, one thing we can control is our behavior. The way we communicate, listen, or even our body language can significantly impact how others perceive us, especially when meeting new people.
The behaviors listed above are subtle but powerful. They might seem tiny, but they can make a significant difference in how you’re seen by others. And the good news is: they’re all habits we can change.
As American writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.”
So as we go about our daily interactions, let’s strive to be more mindful of these habits. Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to connect with each other in the best way we know how.
And always remember: nobody got it right the first time. We’re all just a work in progress.
