Ever wonder what really goes on in the minds of successful people?
As a psychology enthusiast and someone who’s spent years exploring what makes us tick, I’ve always been fascinated by what separates the truly successful from the rest of us.
Sure, they share their wins, strategies, and morning routines—but there’s a lot they don’t talk about.
Here’s the thing: success often comes with its own set of struggles and quirks that most people never see.
In fact, psychology shows us that some of the most interesting truths about high achievers are the ones they keep to themselves.
In this article, I’m diving into 7 things successful people almost never share about themselves. These aren’t just random facts—they’re insights that can help you understand what success really looks like behind the curtain.
Let’s get into it.
1) They don’t always feel confident
We like to think of successful people as oozing confidence 24/7, but here’s the truth: they don’t always feel it.
In fact, many high achievers wrestle with self-doubt more often than you might expect. They just don’t broadcast it.
Psychology even has a name for this—impostor syndrome. It’s that nagging feeling that you’re not as capable as others think you are and that it’s only a matter of time before you’re “found out.”
The difference? Successful people have learned to push forward despite these feelings. They’ve mastered the art of showing up and doing the work, even when their inner critic is screaming at full volume.
If you’re battling your own doubts, take a page from their book: don’t wait to feel confident before taking action. Confidence often comes after you’ve taken the leap, not before.
2) They struggle with failure more than you think
For a long time, I thought successful people had some kind of superpower when it came to handling failure. They seemed to bounce back effortlessly, like setbacks didn’t even faze them.
But the truth is, failure stings for everyone—even the most successful. And I’ve felt that sting firsthand.
A few years ago, I poured months of effort into a project I was sure would take off. I stayed up late, put my heart into every detail, and daydreamed about all the doors it would open.
But when I launched it? Crickets. Hardly anyone noticed, let alone cared. It was humiliating, and for weeks I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t cut out for this.
What helped me process that failure was something psychologist Carl Rogers once said: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Instead of beating myself up, I started to accept the fact that failure didn’t mean I wasn’t good enough—it just meant there was room to grow.
Successful people experience this too. They don’t have some magical immunity to failure; they just learn to embrace it as part of the process.
That experience taught me that failure isn’t proof you’re unworthy—it’s proof you’re trying.
3) They feel lonely more often than you’d expect
This one caught me off guard when I first started learning about the psychology of success. How could people with so many connections, accolades, and admiration feel lonely? But once I experienced it myself, I understood.
A few years ago, after my blog started gaining traction, I found myself in a strange place. On paper, things were going great—more readers, more engagement, more opportunities. I should’ve been happy.
But instead, I felt this weird emptiness creeping in. My friends didn’t really get what I was doing or why it mattered to me, and suddenly the conversations that used to flow easily felt awkward and distant.
It turns out this isn’t uncommon. Research shows that as people climb the ladder of success, their circle often shrinks.
The late psychologist Abraham Maslow even touched on this when he said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”
Success can change how you see yourself—and how others see you too—which sometimes makes it harder to connect on the same level as before.
What helped me was finding a few like-minded people who understood the challenges I was facing. It reminded me that while loneliness might pop up along the way, building meaningful connections takes intention—and it’s always worth it.
4) They often sacrifice their mental health
Here’s something most people don’t talk about: success can come at a cost, and for many high achievers, that cost is their mental health.
I learned this the hard way when I started juggling multiple projects, deadlines, and goals all at once. I was constantly “on,” working late nights, skipping meals, and ignoring the signs my body and mind were screaming at me to slow down.
Eventually, I hit a wall. I felt drained, irritable, and completely disconnected from the work I once loved. It was like I’d achieved some of the goals I’d set for myself but lost something even more important in the process—my sense of balance and well-being.
And I’m not alone in this experience. A study published in The Journal of Vocational Behavior found that individuals who are highly driven often experience higher levels of stress and are more likely to suffer from burnout. The pressure to always perform, achieve more, and maintain an image of success can take a serious toll over time.
Recognizing this forced me to reevaluate my priorities. Now, I make it a point to build rest into my schedule—and not feel guilty about it.
If you’ve been running yourself into the ground chasing your goals, remember: success isn’t worth it if you’re too exhausted to enjoy it.
5) They compare themselves to others more than they let on
You’d think that successful people, with all their accomplishments, are immune to the comparison trap. But here’s the truth: they fall into it just like the rest of us. And I know this because I’ve been there too.
When my blog started gaining traction, I’d catch myself obsessively scrolling through social media, looking at what other creators were doing.
Were their articles getting more shares? Was their audience growing faster? I’d tell myself it was “research,” but really, it was just me measuring my progress against theirs—and feeling like I didn’t measure up.
Psychologists call this upward social comparison, and it’s incredibly common—even among high achievers.
According to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, comparing yourself to others can either motivate you or leave you feeling inadequate, depending on how you frame it. For me, it was usually the latter.
What helped was realizing that comparison is a never-ending game. There will always be someone doing better in some way, but that doesn’t diminish your own progress.
Now, when I feel those thoughts creeping in, I try to focus on my own journey—how far I’ve come and what I want to achieve. If you’re stuck comparing yourself to others, remember: the only person you should be competing with is who you were yesterday.
6) They fear losing everything they’ve worked for
One thing I never realized until I started seeing some success in my life is how much fear accompanies it. The fear of losing it all.
When I was just starting out, failure felt like something abstract—something I could recover from because there wasn’t much to lose. But as I built my blog and it became a bigger part of my identity, that fear of losing what I’d created began to creep in.
I remember lying awake at night, running through worst-case scenarios in my mind.
What if people stopped reading? What if the next article flopped? What if everything I’d worked so hard for just disappeared? It was exhausting, and instead of enjoying what I’d accomplished, I was consumed by the possibility of it all falling apart.
Psychologist Alfred Adler once said, “The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.”
That hit home for me because I realized that this fear of loss was making me overly cautious. Instead of taking risks or trying new things, I found myself clinging tightly to what I already had, afraid to rock the boat.
Eventually, I had to remind myself why I started in the first place: not to play it safe, but to grow, learn, and share something meaningful.
Successful people often carry this same fear—they just don’t talk about it. If you’ve ever felt like this, know you’re not alone. The key is learning to accept that uncertainty is part of the journey—and that growth often requires stepping into it anyway.
7) They don’t always feel happy about their success
Here’s something that might surprise you: success doesn’t always feel as good as you think it will.
I remember hitting a major milestone with my blog—something I’d been working toward for years. I thought it would be one of the happiest moments of my life, but instead, I felt… flat. Almost like, “Is this it? What now?”
It turns out this is more common than people realize. Psychologists call it the “arrival fallacy”, a term coined by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, a Harvard-trained happiness expert. It’s the idea that we overestimate how happy achieving a goal will make us, only to feel underwhelmed when we finally get there.
As Dr. Ben-Shahar explains, “Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way toward a destination we deem valuable.”
That experience taught me something crucial: success is not the finish line that magically makes everything perfect. If you’re not finding joy in the process itself, no milestone will ever feel truly fulfilling.
So here’s something practical you can try: take a moment today to reflect on what you enjoy about your journey right now. Maybe it’s learning new skills, connecting with people, or simply proving to yourself that you’re capable of growth.
By focusing on the present instead of pinning all your hopes on the future, you’ll find more joy—not just when you “arrive,” but every step along the way.
How to move forward with what you’ve learned
Success isn’t always what it looks like from the outside. Even the most accomplished people deal with self-doubt, failure, fear, and unexpected challenges they rarely talk about. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let these struggles hold you back.
If there’s one thing to take away from this article, it’s this: focus on progress, not perfection. Embrace the ups and downs, learn from the setbacks, and give yourself permission to grow at your own pace.
Try this: write down one area of your life where you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, then list one small action you can take today to move forward. Success isn’t about having it all figured out—it’s about taking the next step, no matter how small.
