If you’ve ever found yourself overly reliant on others for certain aspects of your life, you’re not alone. It’s easy to fall into the habit of depending on others for things you should be handling yourself.
This could be anything from having someone else manage your finances to constantly seeking validation for your worth. This reliance can often leave you feeling helpless and stuck.
But listen up, psychology tells us there are certain things in life that we should never depend on others to do for us.
Not because we shouldn’t trust other people, but because these things are fundamental to our personal growth and well-being.
Buckle up and prepare to dive into the things in life you should never depend on other people to do for you.
1) Making decisions for you
Ever caught yourself saying “I don’t know, what do you think?” more often than you’d like? It’s pretty common. We’re social creatures and often seek the input of others when making decisions.
But, there’s a difference between seeking advice and depending on someone else to make decisions for you.
It’s essential to take charge of our own decision-making process. Why? Because it’s fundamental to our personal growth and self-confidence.
When you allow others to make decisions for you, you’re effectively handing over control of your life. You might think it’s easier or less risky, but ultimately, it can lead to feelings of resentment, helplessness, and even a loss of identity.
Next time you’re faced with a decision, big or small, take a moment. Gather all the information you need, consider the advice of others if necessary, but remember – the final decision should be yours. And yours alone. This is your life, and only you know what’s best for you.
By doing so, not only are you taking control of your life, but also boosting your confidence and self-esteem in the process. And that’s something nobody else can do for you.
2) Defining your happiness
It’s a beautiful thing to share joy with others. We often find ourselves smiling when we see someone we care about genuinely happy. But here’s the catch – your happiness should never be defined by anyone else but you.
It might seem natural to rely on others for happiness. After all, aren’t relationships, friendships, and shared experiences a key source of joy in our lives? They definitely are, but it’s crucial to understand that these are contributors to our happiness, not the sole architects of it.
Happiness is a personal journey. It comes from within and it’s a reflection of your values, passions, and self-acceptance. Depending on someone else to make you happy can lead to disappointment and the constant feeling of unfulfillment.
Explore what makes you truly content. It could be as simple as a quiet morning with a good book or as grand as achieving a lifelong dream.
Remember, it’s your happiness. Own it, cultivate it independently, and then share that joy with others. This way, you’re not just happier but also more resilient in face of life’s ups and downs.
3) Building your self-esteem
Self-esteem is a bit like a muscle – the more you work on it, the stronger it becomes. The danger lies in outsourcing this crucial task to others.
In the context of our relationships, we often gauge our worth based on how others perceive us. Compliments can give us a quick boost, while criticism can send us spiraling into self-doubt. But here’s the thing – your self-worth shouldn’t hinge on the opinions of others.
Research studies have found that self-esteem is intrinsically linked to mental health and overall life satisfaction. High self-esteem reduces risk for depression and anxiety, and fosters resilience against stress.
So, how do you work on building up this vital aspect of your mental health? Start by acknowledging your strengths and achievements. Practice self-compassion and give yourself credit for your efforts, not just the outcomes.
After all, you are so much more than what others see or believe about you. Cultivating your self-esteem independently ensures that it remains unshaken regardless of external circumstances or opinions.
4) Healing your wounds
We’ve all been there, carrying the weight of past hurts, disappointments, and heartbreaks. It’s natural to lean on those we trust for comfort and support during these times.
However, the process of healing is deeply personal and unique to each individual. It involves understanding your pain, accepting your feelings, and gradually letting go. Others can stand by you, lend an ear, or share words of comfort, but they can’t heal your wounds for you.
Take all the time you need. Be patient with yourself. Healing isn’t a linear process and it’s okay to have good days and bad days.
It’s perfectly alright to seek help when needed – from friends, family, or professional therapists. But at the end of the day, the journey towards healing is yours to make.
As you navigate this path, not only will you find your strength and resilience, but also a deeper understanding of yourself. And that’s a beautiful thing.
5) Setting your goals
We all have someone we look up to, don’t we? Someone whose achievements inspire us, whose life seems to be the epitome of success. It’s easy to think, “I want to be just like them.”
But here’s where you need to pause and reflect. Are these goals truly yours or are they influenced by someone else’s journey?
Your goals should align with your values, passions, and aspirations. They’re meant to be a reflection of who you are and who you want to become.
Imagine setting a goal based on someone else’s dream. You might achieve it but will it bring you real satisfaction? Probably not, because it wasn’t truly ‘yours’ in the first place.
So take a step back. Think about what you really want in life. Set your own goals, no matter how big or small they may seem compared to others.
This is your journey and your dreams are valid, unique, and worth pursuing. In fact, there’s something incredibly empowering about chasing your own goals and aspirations rather than those set by others.
6) Practicing self-care
We live in a fast-paced world where burnout seems to be a common occurrence. It’s easy to forget ourselves in the midst of our busy schedules and responsibilities.
I remember a friend who would always put everyone else’s needs before her own. She was always there for others, always ready to lend a helping hand, but when it came to her own self-care, she fell short.
It’s important to understand that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s about setting boundaries, taking time to relax and rejuvenate, and prioritizing your physical, mental, and emotional health.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes. In order to care for others effectively, you need to first take care of yourself.
7) Finding your purpose
At the end of the day, there’s one thing that no one else can do for you – finding your purpose. It’s the driving force behind your actions, the reason you get up in the morning, the passion that fuels your journey.
It’s not something that can be handed to you by someone else. It’s a personal quest, a journey of self-discovery that requires introspection and honesty.
Your purpose isn’t defined by societal expectations, or by what others think you should do. It comes from within, from understanding your values, interests, and passions.
Don’t look for shortcuts or easy answers. Explore, question, reflect. Let curiosity guide you and resilience sustain you.
After all, finding your purpose is a journey, not a destination. It may take time and there might be detours along the way, but when you find it, every step will have been worth it. Because living with purpose is the most fulfilling life one can lead.
Final thoughts
In this journey called life, there are some aspects that are truly ours to navigate. These 7 things highlighted in this article are milestones in our personal growth and happiness that we should take ownership of.
This guide is here to illuminate your path, but it’s you who has to walk it. It’s about empowering yourself to take charge of your own life, decisions, and happiness.
Time invested in self-growth and independence is never wasted. It’s a testament to your strength and resilience.
So here’s to stepping up, taking charge, and living a life that’s authentically yours. Here’s to embracing the challenges, relishing the triumphs, and growing beautifully through it all. After all, this is your journey and you’re the best one to steer it.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
