Deciding when to have kids is a major life choice—and there’s a growing trend of people choosing to wait until their 40s to start a family.
This decision can say a lot about a person’s character, according to psychology.
Those who postpone parenthood often exhibit traits that set them apart from their earlier-blooming counterparts.
In this article, we’ll dive into some of the unique characteristics typically displayed by individuals who decide to have children in their 40s.
These insights may not only offer a better understanding of these individuals, but also prompt some thought-provoking self-reflection:
1) Embracing patience
Patience, they say, is a virtue—and it’s a characteristic that’s often in abundance in those who choose to become parents later in life.
Delayed parenthood can indicate a higher level of patience and tolerance.
This is not just in terms of waiting for the right time to start a family, but also in dealing with the ups and downs that come with raising children.
Having this appreciation can extend to parenting as well, where late starters often exhibit a heightened sense of gratitude and patience towards their parenting journey; this level of patience often contributes to a calmer and more understanding parenting approach.
Patience is a true asset when it comes to dealing with the whirlwind that is parenthood!
2) Greater emotional stability
I remember my cousin, who had her first child in her early 40s.
One trait that always stood out to me was her emotional stability.
Where new parents often seem overwhelmed and frazzled, she was always composed and balanced.
This emotional stability is another common trait among those who delay parenthood.
With age often comes a better understanding of one’s emotions and how to manage them.
This maturity can be invaluable in the emotionally charged world of parenting.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman once said, “Emotional self-control—delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness- underlies accomplishment of every sort.”
This sentiment rings true in this context.
The emotional self-control that often accompanies older age can lead to more thoughtful parenting decisions and a more balanced family environment.
3) A sense of fulfillment
Are we ever truly prepared for parenthood? For those who wait until their 40s, there often comes a level of personal fulfillment that can make the transition to parenthood a little smoother.
Many of these individuals have spent their earlier years pursuing careers, traveling, or honing their personal interests.
This pursuit of personal fulfillment can result in a sense of contentment and readiness when they finally decide to start a family.
In the words of the esteemed psychologist Abraham Maslow, “What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.”
Those who enter parenthood in their 40s often do so having experienced this self-actualization.
They’ve had the chance to explore who they are and what they want in life, which can lead to a more balanced and fulfilled parenting experience.
This is not to say it’s all rosy—parenting at any age comes with its own set of challenges—but having achieved a certain level of personal fulfillment can offer a solid foundation from which to tackle the trials and tribulations of raising children.
4) Financial stability
Choosing to have children later in life often means entering parenthood with more financial stability.
This is not a hard and fast rule, but it does tend to be a common trend among those who delay starting their families; this increased financial stability can have a significant impact on the parenting experience.
It can mean less stress about meeting basic needs, more resources for educational opportunities, and the potential for more quality time spent with children.
In fact, older parents tend to have more economic resources and are thus able to invest more time and money in their children.
This can lead to multiple benefits for the child, including improved health, increased educational opportunities, and a more stable living environment.
Again, this isn’t a guarantee.
Financial stability doesn’t automatically equate to being a good parent, but it can certainly help alleviate some of the financial pressures that come with raising a child.
5) Enhanced perspective on life
Another trait I’ve observed in friends who waited to have kids is a broader perspective on life.
They’ve lived more, experienced more, and this often translates into a wisdom that younger parents might not have had the chance to develop.
Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”
This quote resonates deeply with those who embark on parenthood in their 40s.
They’ve had the opportunity to focus on themselves, to build their lives and identities, and then they shift that focus to their children, bringing with them a wealth of life experience and wisdom.
This enhanced perspective can help in raising well-rounded children.
Older parents may be better equipped to guide their children through life’s ups and downs, having navigated many of them themselves.
6) Increased energy levels
Counterintuitive as it may seem, many who become parents in their 40s report having more energy for their children than they might have had in their 20s or 30s.
How so? It’s not necessarily about physical vitality, but rather about emotional energy and focus.
In their 40s, many people have established careers and settled into their rhythms of life, freeing up mental and emotional energy that they can then devote to their kids.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, known for his work on the concept of “flow,” suggests that “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
For many older parents, raising children provides exactly this kind of rewarding challenge.
The focus and energy they’re able to bring to this task can lead to a highly engaged and fulfilling parenting experience.
7) Embracing change
Finally, those who become parents in their 40s often show a remarkable openness to change.
They’ve seen life’s ebbs and flows and know that adaptation is key.
As psychologist William James noted, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
This flexibility of thought is often evident in older parents, who are regularly adapting to the changes that come with raising a child.
Having or practicing the willingness to embrace change can lead to a more fluid and adaptable parenting style, beneficial to both parent and child.
Final thoughts
Choosing to become a parent is one of life’s most significant decisions, and the timing of that choice can offer fascinating insights into a person’s character.
But, remember, these are just general trends—each individual is unique, each parenting journey distinct.
Whether you’re considering starting a family in your 40s or you’re curious about those who do, it’s essential to remember that age is just one factor among many.
The most important thing is that children are raised in loving, supportive environments—and that can happen at any age.
Life is a rich tapestry of experiences and choices, and the decision of when to become a parent adds another unique thread to that tapestry.
