If you’ve ever been around someone who seems to get more stubborn and difficult as they age, you probably know how tough it can be to manage.
The behavior of the elderly can sometimes leave you scratching your head, wishing you knew how to handle their unpredictability and resistance to change.
These behaviors aren’t a simple choice they’re making, but rather, they are often signs of cognitive changes that come with aging.
Being around individuals who become more stubborn and difficult with age can present its own unique challenges.
But don’t worry, there’s a silver lining. With a little knowledge about psychology and the specific behaviors they tend to exhibit, you’ll be better equipped to deal with these situations.
So let’s delve into the eight common behaviors that people who become more stubborn and difficult as they age usually display, according to psychology.
1) Resistance to change
“Back in my day…”
Have you ever heard this phrase from someone older? It’s a clear sign of resistance to change, a behavior that is common as people get older.
They can become set in their ways, finding comfort in the familiar and viewing new ideas or changes with suspicion or even outright rejection.
This isn’t merely a personal quirk, but often a result of aging and the cognitive changes that come with it. The world they knew is changing, and this can be unsettling for them.
For instance, if you propose switching to a smartphone from their old flip phone, they might resist, arguing that the old one works just fine. The truth is, they may fear not being able to understand new technology or feel overwhelmed by it.
Dealing with this kind of stubbornness can be challenging. You may feel frustrated or even belittled when your suggestions are dismissed outright.
But understanding that this resistance is a common behavior among those who become more difficult as they age, rather than a personal attack on you or your ideas, can help manage these interactions more effectively.
2) Increased openness to experiences
Wait, doesn’t this seem contradictory to the point about resistance to change? Well, it’s not exactly.
It turns out that as people age, while they might resist changes in their routine or environment, they tend to become more open to new experiences. This could be anything from trying a new cuisine, traveling to unfamiliar places, or even picking up a new hobby.
This behavior is more about personal growth and curiosity rather than adapting to societal changes. It’s like they’re ticking off items on a bucket list, embracing life and its experiences with an enthusiasm they might not have had when they were younger due to responsibilities or lack of time.
So next time you find them stubbornly clinging to their old flip phone, consider suggesting a cooking class or a weekend getaway instead of the latest iPhone. You might be surprised at their response!
3) Repeating stories
Ever found yourself hearing the same story from your elder, perhaps about their childhood or some memorable event, for the umpteenth time?
This is not just a sign of them losing track of what they’ve told you before, but also a way for them to revisit their past and relive those moments.
As people age, they often find comfort and joy in reminiscing. The past becomes a treasure trove of stories that they love to share over and over again.
This is because older adults have a cognitive bias towards recalling positive memories more than negative ones. It’s nature’s way of promoting wellbeing in our later years.
So next time you hear that familiar story starting up again, remember it’s more than just a repeated tale. It’s a moment of happiness for them, a journey back to a cherished memory.
4) Desire for autonomy
Remember when you were a teenager and all you wanted was to make your own decisions? The feeling doesn’t fade away with age. As people get older, they often feel a strong desire to maintain their autonomy and independence.
They’ve lived a long life making decisions, managing their household, and taking care of others.
As they age, the last thing they want is for someone else to take control of their life. This might sometimes come off as them being stubborn or difficult, but it’s really just their way of holding onto their self-reliance.
So, if your loved one insists on doing their own grocery shopping or cleaning up after dinner, let them. It’s important for them to feel capable and independent.
Of course, always be there to lend a helping hand when needed, but also respect their wish to handle things on their own.
5) Avoiding the new
Have you ever bought a new brand of coffee only to find yourself missing the old one? Or felt a pang of uncertainty when trying a new route to work?
It’s something we’ve all experienced. As people age, this tendency to stick with what’s known and comfortable often becomes more pronounced.
Whether it’s sticking to their favorite brand of cereal for decades or refusing to try online shopping, older adults often avoid the new. This behavior is not just about being stubborn, but about finding comfort and reassurance in the familiar.
Next time, instead of pushing them to try something completely new, try introducing small changes gradually. It can make the transition less daunting and more acceptable for them.
6) Seeking routine
I remember a time when I suggested a spontaneous dinner to an older family member, only to be met with a polite but firm no. Turns out, they had their own dinner routine that they didn’t want to disrupt.
As people age, routines become more than just a schedule. They offer a sense of security and structure. Having a set time for meals, favorite TV shows, or even bedtime can provide comfort and stability in their everyday life.
So if your older loved one seems adamant about sticking to their schedule, understand that it’s not about being difficult. It’s about the peace of mind and comfort that routine brings them.
7) Neglecting self-care
It’s hard to watch someone you care about neglect their health or personal care. “I’m fine,” they’ll insist, even if you notice they’re skipping meals, forgetting medications, or not keeping up with personal hygiene.
This isn’t about them being obstinate or difficult for the sake of it. It can be a sign of declining cognitive function, or simply a reluctance to admit that they need help.
What’s important here is not to ignore these signs under the guise of respecting their independence. It’s crucial to address these issues, even if it leads to uncomfortable conversations. Their health and well-being are at stake, and sometimes, you have to be the one to step in and insist on change.
8) Expressing their emotions differently
As people age, they might not express their emotions the same way they used to. Maybe they’ve become more reserved, or perhaps more outspoken. It’s not them being difficult or stubborn. It’s just another aspect of their behavior that’s changing as they grow older.
The most important thing to remember is to approach these changes with understanding and patience. It can be challenging to navigate these behaviors, but remember that they’re just trying to adapt to the changes in their lives, just like everyone else.
Empathy and respect can go a long way in maintaining healthy relationships with older adults, despite the challenges you might face. After all, we’re all on this journey of life together, and every stage comes with its own unique behaviors and experiences.
Final thoughts
Understanding the behaviors that come with aging is a journey—one filled with challenges, patience, and learning. This article aimed to shed light on what may seem like stubbornness or difficulty, but is often just part of the natural aging process.
The choice to approach these behaviors with empathy and understanding is ultimately yours to make.
Remember, time spent understanding and caring for our older loved ones is never wasted. It’s an investment in relationships that enrich our lives.
Being truly insightful means recognizing these behaviors for what they are, not letting frustrations cloud our judgment, but seeing beyond to the individual who’s simply navigating their own journey of aging.
Here’s to fostering stronger, more compassionate relationships with our older loved ones!
