If someone holds the door open for you, you know they’re courteous. If someone looks at you when you’re talking, you know they’re respectful.
That’s the basic essence of good manners.
But let’s face it, in today’s fast-paced world, some of these old-school manners seem to be disappearing into obscurity. Yet, there are some gems from the 50s and 60s that we could definitely use a little more of today.
I’m not just talking about putting on your Sunday best for church or using ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’. There’s more to it than that.
In this article, I’ll highlight 8 of these forgotten societal norms that, if reintroduced, could sprinkle a dash of charm into our modern lives.
These are simple yet significant gestures that can go a long way in improving social interactions and relationships.
1) The art of letter writing
Letters, remember them?
Before the advent of instant messaging and emails, people used to pen their thoughts and emotions on paper. There was something incredibly personal and intimate about it.
You’d take the time to choose your words carefully because there was no backspace or delete button. You’d put in the effort to make your handwriting neat and legible because that’s a part of you that the recipient gets to see.
And then there was the anticipation, the wait for the reply that could take days or even weeks. It taught us patience and to value the response when it finally arrived.
In today’s world of instant gratification, bringing back this old-school manner could help us reconnect with the virtue of patience and the joy of anticipation. It could also make our communication more thoughtful and heartfelt.
Isn’t that something we could use a bit more of today?
2) Punctuality as a form of respect
Here’s a little something about me. I was raised by a father who believed that being late was a clear sign of disrespect. If we said we’d be somewhere at 3 p.m., we’d be there at 2:50 p.m.
“Dad, why are we always the first ones here?” I’d often ask.
And his answer was always the same, “Because it’s better to wait than to make others wait for you.”
In this era of flexible timings and last-minute cancellations, I can’t help but think how much stress and misunderstanding could be avoided if more people respected each other’s time.
Punctuality is more than just good manners; it’s about valuing and respecting the time of others. And isn’t respect something that never goes out of style?
3) Dressing appropriately
Back in the 1950s and 60s, people dressed to the nines for even the most mundane activities. You’d see men in hats and suits, women in dresses and gloves, just to go grocery shopping or to the post office.
The reason? Dressing up was considered a sign of respect for the people you would interact with throughout the day.
Fast forward to today, where sweatpants and flip-flops have become acceptable attire for almost any occasion. While comfort is undoubtedly important, the shift towards overly casual dressing might have made us lose sight of the impact our appearance can have on our self-esteem and how we are perceived by others.
Studies show that our clothing affects our mental and physical performance. A study from Northwestern University revealed that wearing formal clothing enhances abstract cognitive processing.
Imagine how our daily lives might change if we took a little extra time each morning to dress up, not for vanity, but as a form of self-respect and respect for others.
4) Saying ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’
These two simple phrases might seem like a given, but you’d be surprised how often they’re overlooked in our modern-day interactions.
In the hustle and bustle of our busy lives, it’s easy to forget the power of these humble words. But back in the day, they were a part of every conversation, no matter how trivial.
Saying ‘please’ when you’re asking for something and ‘thank you’ when you receive it indicates respect and appreciation for the other person’s time and effort. It’s a small act that can make a big difference in the way we interact with each other.
Think about it, when was the last time you said ‘please’ or ‘thank you’? Could we all use a little more gratitude and respect in our lives? I think so.
5) Making eye contact during conversations
I’ve always been a firm believer in the power of eye contact. It’s something I consciously try to maintain during conversations, regardless of who I’m talking to.
In the 50s and 60s, eye contact was considered an essential part of any conversation. It showed the person you were speaking with that you were fully engaged and interested in what they had to say.
However, with the rise of smartphones and other distractions, our attention often diverts even while we’re in the middle of a conversation.
I’ve noticed it happening to me as well – my phone buzzes, and I instinctively reach for it, breaking that all-important eye contact.
Reintroducing this old-school manner could help us all improve our listening skills and build stronger connections with those around us.
After all, isn’t communication more than just words? It’s about showing the other person that you genuinely care about what they’re saying.
6) Letting others speak first
In today’s world, it’s often the loudest voice that gets heard. But back in the 50s and 60s, there was a different approach. People believed in giving others the floor first, especially in group settings or meetings.
Sounds strange, doesn’t it? In an age where we strive to assert our ideas and opinions, why would we let others go first?
Well, it’s not about submission, but about respect and consideration. This mannerism allowed for everyone to have a say, and it promoted a more balanced and inclusive conversation.
Imagine if we brought this back today. By simply allowing others to speak first, we could foster better understanding and cooperation in our interactions.
Now, that’s a thought worth considering.
7) Respecting personal space
Personal space was a big deal in the 50s and 60s. Whether at a party or in a public place, maintaining a respectful distance from others was considered good manners.
Fast forward to today, and the concept of personal space seems to have blurred a bit. We live in a world where everything is shared – from photos on social media to crowded public transportation during rush hour.
However, respecting personal space is more than just physical distance. It’s about understanding and respecting others’ boundaries, both physical and emotional.
Just think about how much more comfortable we’d all feel if we brought back this old-school manner. A little space can go a long way in making people feel respected and at ease.
8) Listening more than speaking
In the golden era of the 50s and 60s, being a good listener was highly valued. It wasn’t just about waiting for your turn to speak; it was about genuinely understanding and absorbing what the other person had to say.
Listening is an art that seems to be fading in today’s world of constant chatter and information overload. But it’s an art that can transform our relationships and interactions if we choose to revive it.
Listening more than speaking is not a show of weakness or submission; it’s a demonstration of respect, patience, and empathy. It’s about valifying others’ thoughts and feelings, and building stronger, more meaningful connections.
Final thoughts
If you’ve stuck with me until here, you would have noticed that these manners from the 50s and 60s aren’t just about etiquette or rules. They are, in essence, about respect, patience, and understanding – values that never go out of style.
Because practicing good manners is not just about being polite. It’s about acknowledging the worth of others and treating them with dignity.
In the age of digital communication and fast-paced living, it might be worthwhile to slow down a bit and bring back some of these old-school manners. Not because they’re quaint or charming, but because they remind us of the importance of genuine human connection.
As American journalist and author Tom Brokaw once said, “It’s easy to make a buck. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference.”
Imagine if we could all make a small difference in our own ways, simply by reviving these forgotten manners. Now, that’s a thought worth pondering over.
