Nothing quite prepares you for the moment you realize your child sees you differently than before.
At one point, you were their hero—the one they looked up to, admired, and wanted to be just like.
But as the years go by, something shifts. The admiration that once came so easily starts to fade, and you can’t help but wonder why.
It’s easy to assume that growing up naturally creates distance, that it’s just a part of life. But the truth is, the way your child sees you isn’t set in stone. How they view you as they get older has a lot to do with the habits you hold onto—and the ones you’re willing to let go of.
If you want to feel more admired by your child as the years pass, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight habits.
1) Stop dismissing their opinions
As kids, they looked to you for all the answers. But as they grow, they start forming their own thoughts, ideas, and beliefs—ones that won’t always align with yours.
It’s easy to brush off their opinions, especially when you feel like you know better. Maybe you correct them too quickly, shut down their thoughts without realizing it, or assume their perspective isn’t fully developed yet.
But admiration doesn’t come from always being right. It comes from showing respect, even when you disagree. If you constantly dismiss what they think or feel, they stop seeing you as someone to look up to and start seeing you as someone who doesn’t listen.
Letting go of the habit of shutting them down and instead making space for their viewpoints—even when they challenge yours—can make all the difference.
2) Stop acting like you always know best
For years, my child would come to me for advice on everything—what to do in a tough situation, how to handle a problem with a friend, even which shoes looked best. I loved being that person for them.
But as they got older, I didn’t realize how often I was still trying to steer every conversation toward my own conclusions.
Even when they just wanted to vent, I’d jump in with solutions before they even finished their sentence. I thought I was helping.
But one day, they sighed and said, “I just wanted you to listen.” It hit me hard.
Nobody admires someone who makes them feel unheard. If every conversation turns into a lesson or correction, it sends the message that their thoughts aren’t enough on their own.
Letting go of the need to always have the answers allows them to trust that their own judgment matters—and that you respect them enough to let them figure things out too.
3) Stop demanding respect instead of earning it
Lao Tzu once said, “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” It sounds simple, but it’s something many parents forget as their children grow up.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of expecting respect just because of the role you play in their life. Maybe you say things like, “I’m your parent, you need to respect me,” or get frustrated when they challenge your authority.
But admiration doesn’t come from titles or demands—it comes from how you carry yourself and how you treat them.
If you want your child to admire you as they get older, the focus shouldn’t be on forcing respect but on modeling it. Speak to them the way you’d want to be spoken to. Show them what it looks like to stand by your values without belittling theirs.
When they see that respect isn’t just something you expect but something you live by, admiration naturally follows.
4) Stop avoiding admitting when you’re wrong
The human brain is wired to protect the ego. When faced with evidence that we’ve made a mistake, the brain often doubles down instead of admitting fault. It’s an automatic defense mechanism—but one that can quietly erode admiration, especially in a parent-child relationship.
Nobody expects perfection, least of all your child. What they do notice, though, is whether you take responsibility when you mess up. If you refuse to apologize, shift blame, or act like you’re always in the right, it teaches them that admitting fault is a weakness.
Worse, it makes them less likely to trust you when they need honesty the most.
Owning up to mistakes doesn’t make you look weaker in their eyes—it makes you human. And the more they see that you hold yourself accountable, the more they’ll respect and admire the person you are, not just the role you play in their life.
5) Stop dismissing their feelings just because you don’t understand them
When my child was younger, their emotions made sense to me. A scraped knee led to tears, a birthday party brought excitement—it was all predictable.
But as they grew older, their feelings became more complex, and I didn’t always understand why certain things upset them so much.
There were times I caught myself saying, “It’s not a big deal,” or “You’ll understand when you’re older.” I thought I was offering perspective, but really, I was making them feel like their emotions weren’t valid. That’s not something you say to someone you truly admire.
If something matters to them, it should matter to you—not because you have to agree, but because admiration is built on mutual respect. Dismissing their feelings only teaches them that you’re not a safe place to turn to.
And if they can’t trust you with their emotions, they won’t see you as someone worth looking up to.
6) Stop expecting them to be just like you
It’s natural to see yourself in your child. The way they laugh, the expressions they make, even the little quirks that remind you of your younger self—it’s comforting.
But at some point, they start becoming their own person, and that can be harder to accept than most parents realize.
Maybe they make choices you wouldn’t, develop interests that seem strange to you, or take a path in life that feels completely unfamiliar. It’s tempting to try to guide them back toward what feels “right” in your eyes.
But admiration doesn’t grow from pressure to conform—it grows when they feel free to be themselves without fear of disappointing you.
If they sense that your approval is tied to how much they mirror your own values and choices, they’ll start pulling away.
Letting go of the habit of expecting them to see the world exactly as you do makes space for something far more meaningful—mutual respect built on acceptance rather than expectation.
7) Stop making everything about your own experiences
When my child opened up about struggles at school, I used to think the best way to connect was to share my own stories. If they were dealing with a tough friendship, I’d jump in with, “That happened to me too,” and launch into a memory from my past.
I thought I was helping them feel less alone.
But one day, they stopped talking as much. When I finally asked why, they hesitated before saying, “I just wanted to talk about me for a second.” That moment stayed with me.
It’s easy to assume that sharing your own experiences makes you relatable, but if you’re always bringing the focus back to yourself, it can feel like their struggles are being overshadowed.
Admiration grows when they feel truly heard—not when every conversation turns into a reflection of your past. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just listen.
8) Stop neglecting to show them who you really are
As parents, we spend so much time focusing on who our children are becoming that we forget to let them see who we are beyond the role of “mom” or “dad.”
They know us as caregivers, rule-setters, and problem-solvers, but do they know what truly excites us? Do they know about the dreams we had before they were born, the mistakes that shaped us, or the passions that still light us up?
Admiration isn’t just about respect—it’s about connection. If they only ever see you as an authority figure, there’s a limit to how deeply they can admire you.
But when you open up and share your own stories, your real thoughts, and even your uncertainties, it shifts something. They no longer just see a parent—they see a whole person. And that’s someone worth looking up to.
The bottom line
Admiration isn’t something you can demand—it’s something you earn through the way you engage, listen, and show up.
Letting go of these habits isn’t about being the perfect parent. It’s about being the kind of person your child genuinely wants to admire—not just because they have to, but because they see qualities in you that inspire them.
Start small. Notice when you interrupt instead of listening, when you dismiss instead of validating, when you correct instead of understanding. These moments add up, shaping how they see you over time.
As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The way your child feels around you will define their admiration far more than any lesson or rule ever could.
Choose to be someone worth looking up to—not by force, but by example.
