We all want to make a good impression, but sometimes the way we speak can send the wrong message—without us even realizing it.
Certain phrases, even if they seem harmless, can make you come across as arrogant or self-centered. Instead of building connections, they can push people away, making you seem dismissive, superior, or just plain difficult to be around.
The good news? A few small changes in the way you speak can make a big difference in how others perceive you. Here are eight common phrases that might be giving off the wrong vibe—and what to say instead.
1) “I’m just being honest.”
We all appreciate honesty, but there’s a fine line between being truthful and using honesty as an excuse to be blunt or rude.
When someone says, “I’m just being honest,” it often comes after a harsh or critical remark—almost as if they’re saying their words don’t count because they’re telling the “truth.”
The problem? It makes you sound like you value your own opinions more than other people’s feelings. Instead of coming across as straightforward, you risk sounding dismissive or even condescending.
If you want to be honest without seeming arrogant, try focusing on kindness and tact. Being direct is great, but making people feel respected is even better.
2) “I already knew that.”
A while back, a friend excitedly shared an interesting fact with me. Without thinking, I immediately responded with, “Oh yeah, I already knew that.”
The conversation shut down instantly. Instead of engaging with what they were saying, I made it about me—like their excitement didn’t matter because I already had that knowledge.
I didn’t mean to sound dismissive, but that’s exactly how it came across. It was a small moment, but it made me realize how easy it is to come off as arrogant without intending to.
Now, even if I already know something, I make an effort to stay engaged.
A simple “That’s really interesting!” or “Yeah, I love that fact!” keeps the conversation going and makes the other person feel heard instead of brushed off.
3) “You’re doing it wrong.”
Nobody likes being told they’re wrong—especially in such a blunt way.
Studies show that when people feel criticized or corrected, their brains interpret it as a threat, triggering a defensive response. That’s why phrases like “You’re doing it wrong” often lead to resistance instead of cooperation.
Even if you have a better way of doing something, phrasing matters. Instead of making someone feel like they’ve failed, try offering guidance in a more constructive way.
Saying something like, “Here’s another way that might work even better,” keeps the conversation open and helpful rather than dismissive and condescending.
4) “That’s not how I would do it.”
This phrase might seem harmless, but it often comes across as self-important—like your way is the right way and theirs is automatically inferior.
Even if you have more experience, constantly pointing out how you would do things can make others feel undervalued. It shifts the focus away from collaboration and turns it into a subtle power play.
Instead of making comparisons, try asking questions. Something like, “Oh, interesting! What made you decide to do it that way?” shows curiosity rather than judgment. You might even learn something new in the process.
5) “I don’t have time for this.”
We all get busy, frustrated, and overwhelmed. But when you say, “I don’t have time for this,” what the other person often hears is: “You’re not important enough for my attention.”
Everyone’s time is valuable. Dismissing someone outright—whether it’s a coworker, a friend, or even a stranger—can make them feel small and unworthy. And the truth is, a few extra seconds of patience rarely make or break your day.
If you’re truly in a rush, there are better ways to communicate it. A simple “I’d love to talk about this later when I can focus” or “Can we come back to this when I have more time?” keeps the door open without making the other person feel insignificant.
6) “I’m just better at it.”
There was a time when I thought confidence meant owning my strengths without hesitation. If I was good at something, why not say it outright?
But what I didn’t realize was how this kind of statement landed with others. Instead of sounding confident, it made me seem dismissive—like my skills were superior and theirs weren’t even worth acknowledging.
Confidence isn’t about reminding people that you’re better. True confidence shows up in humility, in lifting others up instead of making comparisons.
A simple shift—like saying, “I’ve had a lot of practice with this”—keeps the conversation open without making others feel small.
7) “I could do that in my sleep.”
What might seem like a casual comment can actually come across as arrogant and dismissive. Saying, “I could do that in my sleep,” downplays the effort someone else is putting in and makes it seem like their challenges don’t matter.
Not everyone has the same skills or experience, and what’s easy for you might be difficult for someone else. Instead of brushing off their efforts, try offering support or encouragement.
Saying something like, “That took me a while to learn too,” or “Let me know if you ever want any tips,” keeps the conversation positive and makes you someone people actually want to learn from.
8) “I’m not like other people.”
Trying to set yourself apart can sometimes have the opposite effect. When you say, “I’m not like other people,” it can come across as if you think you’re better than everyone else—as if being different automatically makes you superior.
Individuality is important, but so is connection.
Instead of focusing on how you stand out, try focusing on what you share with others. People don’t connect through differences—they connect through understanding.
Bottom line: Words shape perception
The way we speak doesn’t just communicate information—it shapes how others see us. Small phrases, often said without much thought, can leave a lasting impression, making us seem arrogant or self-centered even when that’s not our intention.
Research on social dynamics shows that people are naturally drawn to those who make them feel heard, valued, and respected. The words we choose play a big role in that. A simple shift in phrasing can mean the difference between pushing people away and building stronger, more positive connections.
Language isn’t just about expressing what we think—it’s about how we make others feel. And sometimes, the smallest changes make the biggest difference.
