7 behaviors that make boomers seem selfish and out of touch to younger generations

There’s a palpable divide between the boomer generation and younger cohorts—and it often boils down to misunderstandings.

Boomers are sometimes seen as selfish or out of touch by younger generations, but it’s not necessarily a fair or wholly accurate portrayal.

The truth lies in certain behaviors that, when exhibited frequently, can create this perception.

Trust me, it’s not just about technology wars or differences in music taste.

This article isn’t an attack on boomers but rather an attempt to bridge the generational gap by shedding light on these behaviors.

This is your chance to understand better, relate more effectively, and possibly even modify your own behavior—if you happen to be a boomer yourself:

1) Resistance to change

One of the biggest complaints younger generations have about boomers is their apparent resistance to change.

This mindset can often come across as being out of touch, especially when it comes to adapting to new technologies or societal norms.

It’s not that every boomer is technophobic or socially conservative, but a stubborn refusal to learn and adapt can easily be misconstrued as such.

The world is changing rapidly, and keeping up with these changes is essential for effective communication and understanding.

When boomers resist these changes, it can create a disconnect with younger generations who are more fluid in their adaptation.

This resistance might not be out of selfishness but rather an inherent discomfort with the unfamiliar.

However, the resulting perception is what counts.

If you’re a boomer, try stepping out of your comfort zone.

Embrace change, learn about new technology, and strive to understand the evolving societal norms.

It will not only help bridge the generational gap but also enrich your own experiences.

2) The “back-in-my-day” syndrome

Another behavior that gets under the skin of younger generations is what I like to call the “back-in-my-day” syndrome.

This is when boomers tend to compare current situations with how things were in their time, often painting their era in a more favorable light.

I remember a conversation I had with my uncle about job hunting.

As a millennial, I was talking about the challenges of finding a stable job despite having a degree and relevant experience.

His response?

“Back in my day, you could walk into any company, shake hands with the boss, and land a job on the spot.”

While he didn’t mean any harm, it felt dismissive of the struggles faced by younger generations today.

This comparison made it seem like he was out of touch with the realities of the modern job market.

The trick here is understanding that times have changed.

It’s important to empathize rather than downplay the challenges today’s younger generations face.

Dialogues are more productive when they’re based on understanding rather than comparison.

3) Overemphasis on independence

Boomers often put great emphasis on self-reliance and independence.

This generation was brought up to believe that success was directly linked to individual hard work.

However, this belief often overlooks the role of community, collaboration, and mutual support in achieving success.

Younger generations tend to value teamwork and collective efforts more than their boomer counterparts.

Millennials, compared to boomers, place a higher value on harmony and self-improvement.

This shift in societal values can make boomers’ emphasis on independence seem selfish or out of touch.

Understanding the balance between individual efforts and collective achievements can help bridge this perception gap.

After all, we’re all in this together.

4) Communication style

Communication is key in any relationship, and this holds true even when it comes to intergenerational interactions.

Boomers are often more formal in their communication, adhering to traditional norms of politeness and decorum.

They value face-to-face conversations and phone calls over the quick texts or social media interactions younger generations prefer.

This difference in communication style can create a barrier, making boomers seem inaccessible or distant.

It can even be interpreted as a lack of interest in maintaining a relationship.

Remember, it’s not about changing your entire communication style, but about adapting to the preferences of the person you’re trying to communicate with.

A text message or a video call can go a long way in bridging this gap.

5) The work-life balance debate

Work-life balance is a concept that has gained much traction over the years, especially with younger generations.

They believe in working hard but also prioritizing personal time for self-care and hobbies.

As boomers, most of them were raised to believe that hard work was the key to success, which often meant long hours at the office and little time left for leisure.

Recognizing this shift in values can help boomers understand why younger generations might see them as not just out of touch, but also as driving themselves unnecessarily hard.

It’s essential to realize that it’s not about being lazy or lacking ambition; it’s about maintaining mental and physical health while also achieving professional goals.

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6) Fixed mindset

A fixed mindset, as coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, refers to the belief that one’s intelligence, talents, and abilities are set in stone.

This contrasts with a growth mindset, which embraces the idea that these attributes can be developed through dedication and hard work.

Boomers often lean towards a fixed mindset, possibly due to the era they grew up in.

They may believe that if you’re not good at something, it means you’re not meant to do it.

However, this can be frustrating for younger generations who believe in the power of learning and growth.

This mindset difference can cause boomers to come across as rigid and unyielding, further widening the generational gap.

Understanding and embracing a growth mindset can be a game-changer in not just relating with younger generations but also in personal development.

Take note: It’s never too late to learn and grow.

7) Lack of environmental consciousness

Finally, one of the most significant areas of disconnect between boomers and younger generations is the environment.

Younger generations are more aware of the need for sustainable living and are more concerned about the state of our planet.

They’re leading the charge in advocating for climate change action and the reduction of waste.

On the other hand, boomers often didn’t grow up with the same level of environmental consciousness.

This can make them seem uncaring or dismissive about environmental issues, which can be a tremendous point of contention.

It’s crucial to acknowledge this concern and take steps towards more environmentally friendly practices.

Understanding that our choices impact not just us but future generations too is key in bridging this divide.

Final thoughts: Bridging the gap

The key to understanding any generation lies in empathy and willingness to adapt.

For boomers, it’s essential to remember that times have changed.

Younger generations are navigating a world that’s vastly different from the one boomers grew up in.

Their values, preferences, and challenges are unique to their time.

On the other hand, younger generations need to be patient with boomers’ seemingly stubborn ways.

It’s equally important to recognize that boomers too had their share of struggles in their time which shaped their behaviors and attitudes.

Whether you’re a boomer trying to connect with your millennial grandchild or a Gen Z trying to make sense of your boomer boss, remember that understanding is a two-way street.

It all comes down to patience, empathy, and the willingness to change.

After all, we’re products of our time, but that doesn’t mean we can’t transcend it!

Picture of Alex Navarro

Alex Navarro

As a psychology enthusiast and self-improvement junkie, Alex Navarro is fascinated by what makes people tick. Writing from Barcelona, Spain, he explores emotional intelligence, relationships, and the subtle mindset shifts that lead to real change. His approach is all about cutting through the noise and sharing advice that actually makes a difference. He believes personal growth should feel real and relatable—something you can apply to everyday life, not just an abstract idea.

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