If you’re a parent, you know kids don’t come with an instruction manual. Teaching them manners can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield without a map.
Manners, though simple in concept, can be a tough lesson for children. You might watch in frustration as your child forgets to say “please” and “thank you,” interrupts conversations or acts out in public.
As a psychologist, I understand that these social skills don’t come naturally to all children. But they’re absolutely essential.
Teaching manners isn’t just about raising respectful kids – it’s about equipping them with the tools they’ll need to navigate the world effectively and compassionately.
In this article, I’ll share eight basic manners every parent should teach their child, according to my experience as a psychologist. It might not be an instruction manual, but it’s a good place to start.
1) Saying “please” and “thank you”
We’ve all been there – you ask your child to do something, and they flat out ignore you. Or perhaps, they oblige but forget those magic words that make all the difference – “please” and “thank you”. It can be a tad frustrating, right?
As a psychologist, I can tell you that teaching your child to say “please” and “thank you” is more than just about manners. It’s about teaching them the value of appreciation and respect for others.
These simple words can significantly impact how they interact with people throughout their lives.
Encouraging these phrases early on helps instill a sense of gratitude in kids. It also sets the tone for respectful communication, which is incredibly important as they grow older.
After all, we live in a society where we need each other’s help and cooperation.
Sure, your child might forget to say these words sometimes, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection but progress.
So next time when your little one asks for something or receives a gift, gently remind them of these magic words. Remember, patience and consistency are key in teaching manners.
2) Losing gracefully
Here’s a surprising one. As a parent, you might be focused on teaching your child to be a winner. After all, we all want our children to succeed. But it’s just as important to teach them how to lose.
Losing is a part of life. Not every game will be won, not every test will be aced. And that’s perfectly okay. When children understand this, they’re better equipped to handle disappointments and setbacks.
Teach your child that it’s not always about winning or losing, but about how they play the game. Let them know it’s okay to feel disappointed when they lose, but it’s not okay to let that disappointment turn into poor sportsmanship.
By teaching them to lose gracefully, you’re helping them develop resilience and empathy.
They’ll learn that bouncing back from setbacks is a crucial life skill and that everyone deserves respect, whether they’re on the winning or losing side.
3) Making eye contact
Here’s something that might seem small but carries a lot of weight – making eye contact. This simple act is actually a powerful form of nonverbal communication.
It shows the other person that you’re listening and that you value what they’re saying.
When children make eye contact, they’re not just showing respect; they’re also building their social and emotional skills. They learn to pick up on nonverbal cues, understand emotions, and build stronger connections with others.
But it’s important to remember that making eye contact can be uncomfortable for some children. If that’s the case, gently encourage them without forcing it.
Over time, as they become more comfortable with this skill, they’ll find it easier to engage in meaningful conversations and develop stronger relationships.
4) Apologizing sincerely
We all make mistakes. It’s a part of being human. But owning up to those mistakes and apologizing sincerely, well, that’s a lesson that will serve your child well throughout their life.
Teaching your child to apologize isn’t just about uttering the words “I’m sorry”. It’s about helping them understand the impact of their actions on others. It’s about fostering empathy and compassion.
When a child learns to apologize sincerely, they not only learn to take responsibility for their actions but also develop a deeper understanding of other people’s feelings.
They learn that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as they are willing to make amends.
This lesson extends beyond childhood, helping them build stronger relationships as they navigate friendships, romantic relationships, and professional environments in their adult lives.
While it might seem like a simple manner, apologizing sincerely is indeed a powerful life skill.
5) Waiting their turn
Remember the anticipation of waiting for your turn on the swing as a kid? Or the impatience of waiting for your favorite dessert while everyone else had their slice first? We’ve all been there.
Teaching children to wait their turn is a critical lesson in patience and respect. In a world where instant gratification has become the norm, this might seem like an uphill battle. But it’s a battle worth fighting.
When children learn to wait their turn, they learn that everyone’s time and needs are valuable.
They learn about fairness and equality. They also learn to manage their emotions, even when they’re bubbling with excitement or impatience.
So, next time you’re at the playground or around the dinner table, remind your child about the importance of waiting their turn. It might be a tough lesson to learn, but it’s one that will serve them well in many facets of life.
6) Listening attentively
Ever had a conversation with someone who clearly wasn’t paying attention? You know, the kind where they’re nodding along but it’s clear their mind is somewhere else? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
Listening attentively is a skill that’s often overlooked but is fundamental to effective communication. Teaching children to listen, truly listen, means teaching them to value others’ thoughts and feelings.
I remember a time when a young child was taught this skill early on. Whenever someone spoke to them, they would stop whatever they were doing and give that person their full attention.
This simple act made the speaker feel valued and heard, creating a positive environment for communication.
By teaching your child to listen attentively, you’re not just teaching them manners; you’re equipping them with a crucial skill that will help them form meaningful relationships throughout their life.
7) Respecting personal space
In a world where boundaries are more important than ever, it’s crucial to teach children about personal space. Just like adults, children need their own space, and they need to learn to respect others’ space too.
It’s not always about physical space – it’s about understanding that everyone has the right to their feelings, thoughts, and experiences.
It’s about recognizing that just because we’re comfortable with something, doesn’t mean everyone else is.
If your child has a habit of getting too close, or they don’t understand why they can’t just grab a toy from a friend, it’s time for a talk about personal space. It might be a tough conversation, but it’s necessary.
Teaching them about personal space isn’t just about respecting others; it’s also about teaching them to demand the same respect for their own boundaries. This is a lesson that will serve them well into adulthood.
8) Showing kindness
At the end of the day, no matter what manners you teach your child, the most important one is kindness. It’s the glue that holds all other manners together.
Kindness is about more than just being nice. It’s about showing empathy and understanding to others, even when it’s hard. It’s about treating others as we’d like to be treated ourselves.
Teaching your child to be kind isn’t always easy, but it’s worth the effort. A kind child grows into a kind adult, and kindness can truly make the world a better place.
As a psychologist, I can tell you that these eight manners will serve as a strong foundation for your child. But above all, instilling kindness in their hearts will always be the most important lesson.
Remember, we’re not just raising children; we’re raising the future leaders of our world. Let’s ensure they lead with kindness.
Conclusion
Raising a child is one of life’s most rewarding experiences—and also one of the most challenging. There’s no perfect formula, and most of it comes down to what you value as a parent.
This article has shared eight basic manners that, as a psychologist, I believe every parent should teach their child. But ultimately, the choice of what to prioritize is yours to make.
Time spent teaching your child these manners is never time wasted. Each lesson is a stepping stone towards helping them become respectful, empathetic individuals.
Remember, being a wise parent means being aware enough not to let society dictate what your child should learn or care about.
It’s about understanding your child’s individual needs and guiding them towards becoming the best version of themselves.
Do you truly know yourself?
Your FREE personalized Moon Reading explores the secret depths of your personality, relationships and true purpose in life.
