7 circumstances in life where you should always put your needs first, according to psychology

We’re taught that putting others first is a sign of kindness. But what happens when this selflessness comes at the cost of your own well-being?

The truth is, constant people-pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, and even a loss of identity.

Psychology tells us that while helping others can be fulfilling, there are moments in life when prioritizing your own needs isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

In fact, knowing when to put yourself first can be the difference between living a life of balance and one weighed down by exhaustion and regret.

In this article, we’ll explore seven specific circumstances where putting your needs first is not only justified but necessary.

Understanding these moments can help you break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships with yourself and others.

1) When your physical health is at stake

Your health is not a bargaining chip. It’s not something you should compromise on for the sake of others. If your body is telling you it’s time to slow down, listen!

Take a break.

Whether it’s skipping that family gathering because you’re feeling under the weather or saying no to an extra shift at work because you’re exhausted, your health must come first.

Ignoring your physical health doesn’t just affect you. It can impact those around you too. After all, how can you take care of others if you’re not in the best shape yourself?

2) When you’re mentally drained

Ever been there? I certainly have.

There was a time when my calendar was jam-packed with social events, work commitments, family gatherings… you name it. I was always on the go, trying to please everyone else.

One day, I realized:

I was utterly exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally. I felt like a candle burning at both ends. I was irritable, anxious, and unable to focus on anything.

So, what did I do?

I took a step back. I decided it was time to put my mental health first.

I started saying no to things that were overwhelming me. I made time for activities that helped me relax and recharge—like reading a good book or going for a quiet walk.

Guess what happened?

My stress levels decreased significantly. I felt happier, more focused, and more present in my interactions with others.

So don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point to prioritize your mental wellbeing. It’s perfectly okay—and necessary—to take care of your mind as much as your body.

3) When toxic relationships threaten your peace

We’ve all had that one relationship – romantic, platonic, or familial – that’s caused more harm than good. It’s draining, distressing, and downright toxic.

My friend Alex was in a relationship with someone who constantly belittled him, doubted his dreams, and made him feel like he was walking on eggshells.

He thought he was being noble by sticking it out, believing that love meant enduring hardship.

But here’s the truth.

Love doesn’t mean constant suffering. It’s not about tolerating disrespect or emotional abuse. Alex realized this too late and ended up battling severe depression.

So here’s my advice.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, put your emotional health first.

It’s okay to walk away from relationships that cause you undue stress or harm your mental peace. You deserve respect, love, and kindness – never settle for less.

4) When personal growth becomes stagnant

Ever felt stuck in a rut?

We all have.

You’re going about your daily routine, everything seems fine on the surface, but deep down you feel like you’re just going through the motions.

When your personal growth becomes stagnant, it’s time to prioritize your needs. Maybe it’s a job that no longer challenges you, or perhaps a hobby that no longer sparks joy.

Take me, for instance.

I used to love my job. It was exciting, challenging, and fulfilling. But over time, I felt like I wasn’t learning anything new. My growth had plateaued.

So, what did I do?

I decided to put my needs first. I started looking for opportunities that would challenge me and help me grow. It was scary, yes, but it was also necessary.

And you know what?

Best decision ever. Today, I’m in a job that I love, where I’m constantly learning and growing.

So don’t be afraid to put your personal growth first. If something no longer serves your growth or happiness, it might be time to move on. 

5) When your boundaries are constantly pushed

Boundaries. We all have them, but not everyone respects them.

Ever been in a situation where someone just doesn’t get the hint? They continue to push and prod, despite your clear discomfort. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

Well, here’s something you might not know.

According to psychologists, setting and maintaining personal boundaries is a key component of mental health and well-being. They help us define who we are and what we’re comfortable with.

When our boundaries are continuously violated stress, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness can creep in, damaging our mental health.

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So, what’s the solution?

Simple – put your needs first. Stand firm on your boundaries. It might feel uncomfortable saying no or pushing back, but remember, you have every right to protect your peace and comfort.

6) When you need self-care

I want you to do something.

Take a moment, close your eyes, and ask yourself, “When was the last time I did something just for me?” Not for your job, not for your family or friends, but purely for you.

Difficult to remember, isn’t it?

In this fast-paced world, we often forget to pause and take care of ourselves. We’re so caught up in the daily hustle and bustle that self-care takes a backseat.

But here’s the thing – Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

Self-care allows you to replenish your energy so that you can give your best to the world around you.

A few years back, I found myself constantly stressed and on edge. I was juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, with no time left for myself.

Then one day, I decided enough was enough. I started carving out time for self-care. Whether it was a quiet morning walk or a relaxing bath at the end of the day, I made sure I had ‘me’ time.

The change was remarkable.

I felt more at peace, more balanced. My relationships improved because I was happier and more present.

7) When it’s about your dreams and aspirations

This is it, the one thing you should always remember: Your dreams and aspirations are worth prioritizing. They’re not just whims or fancies. They’re an integral part of who you are.

We often sideline our dreams to accommodate others or fit societal expectations. We trade our passions for practicality, and our dreams for a perceived sense of duty.

But at what cost?

Suppressing your true desires can lead to resentment, dissatisfaction, and regret. And that’s not a life anyone deserves to live.

So, dare to dream.

Dare to put your aspirations first. Because you know what? You deserve to chase what sets your soul on fire. You deserve to live a life that makes you jump out of bed in the morning, excited for what the day holds.

Wrapping it up

There you have it. Seven circumstances where putting your needs first isn’t just okay, it’s crucial.

By putting yourself first in these key circumstances, you’re not only protecting your mental and emotional health, but you’re also setting an example for others to do the same.

Breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly empowering.

When you start valuing your own needs, you’ll find that you have more to give to others, without sacrificing your own happiness or peace of mind.