8 behaviors you’re allowed to judge people for, according to psychology

Let’s be honest — we all judge people sometimes. Maybe it’s the way someone cuts in line or how they talk down to others. It’s easy to feel that little jolt of disapproval. 

But here’s the twist: psychology actually backs you up on this one. There are certain behaviors that people should be held accountable for, and noticing them isn’t about being petty or judgmental — it’s about instinct. 

From dishonesty to unkindness, some actions naturally trigger a response in us because they go against basic human decency. 

The good news? Understanding why we judge can help you feel more confident in your instincts and avoid unfair assumptions. 

Let’s look at which behaviors psychology says it’s totally okay to call out.

1) Dishonesty

Let’s say you’ve encountered someone who’s prone to lying or embellishing the truth. This can leave you feeling uneasy and doubting their reliability.

Dishonesty isn’t just about lying though. It can also show up as stealing, cheating, or even being insincere. It’s a behavior that can disrupt trust and undermine relationships.

Trust and honesty are fundamental to healthy social interactions and relationships.

Everyone can occasionally slip up and tell a white lie. So it’s important to distinguish between a one-off incident and a pattern of dishonest behavior.

Ultimately, understanding this behavior can help you navigate your interactions with others more effectively, and potentially protect you from further deception.

2) Excessive politeness

Now this might seem a bit strange, but psychology suggests that excessive politeness can be a behavior to judge. While politeness is generally seen as a positive trait, it can become problematic when it’s overdone.

For instance, someone who is overly polite might be less genuine in their interactions. They could be using politeness as a mask to hide their true feelings or intentions. This can make it difficult to build a deep and authentic connection with them.

Excessive politeness can also indicate a lack of assertiveness or self-esteem. It may suggest that the person is more concerned about pleasing others than expressing their own thoughts and feelings.

So while it’s important to be courteous and respectful, remember that genuine interactions often require a balance between politeness and authenticity.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a vital part of human connection. When someone lacks empathy, it can make us question their ability to relate to others and form meaningful relationships.

People who lack empathy often struggle to see things from another person’s perspective. This behavior can lead to selfish actions and a disregard for the feelings of others. 

It’s something that we instinctively react negatively to because it goes against our social nature.

Interestingly, research shows that empathy isn’t just about being nice. It’s also linked to our survival as a species. In our early days as humans, being able to understand and share the feelings of our fellow tribe members was essential for cooperation and survival. 

So judging someone for a lack of empathy isn’t just socially acceptable, it’s deeply ingrained in our human nature.

4) Inconsistency

Sometimes, we encounter people whose actions don’t align with their words. One day they’re full of promises, and the next day they’re nowhere to be found. This inconsistency can be puzzling and frustrating.

It’s understandable to feel uncertain or confused in such situations. After all, consistency is a cornerstone of trust, and without it, relationships can become unstable.

But before rushing to judgment, it’s worth considering the reasons behind this behavior. Maybe they’re going through a difficult time, or they’re struggling with something we’re unaware of.

However, if inconsistency becomes a pattern, it’s okay to judge this behavior as it can impact your trust in them. It’s always important to protect your emotional wellbeing and seek clarity when needed.

5) Lack of accountability

We’ve all met someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions. They blame others for their mistakes, or find an array of excuses to justify their behavior. This lack of accountability can be frustrating and quite frankly, exhausting.

Whenever we see someone shirking responsibility, it’s natural to feel a sense of injustice. We instinctively know that it’s important to own up to our actions, both good and bad.

Taking responsibility is a sign of maturity and integrity. However, this doesn’t mean we should write someone off entirely. People can change and learn from their mistakes, just as we all do.

6) Negativity

Negativity can be a draining behavior to be around. I remember a time when I had a friend who always saw the glass as half empty. No matter what happened, they always found a way to focus on the negative.

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This constant negativity started to affect my own mood and perspective. It was then that I realized how infectious negativity could be and how it can impact our own mental health.

Psychology encourages us to judge this type of behavior because it can directly influence our own happiness and outlook on life. 

It’s okay to distance ourselves from constant negativity for our own well-being. However, it’s also important to offer support and understanding, as this behavior could be a sign of underlying struggles or difficulties.

7) Self-centeredness

Let’s talk about self-centered behavior. It’s that person who frequently turns the conversation back to themselves, who seems uninterested in others, or who puts their own needs and wants above everyone else’s.

While it’s healthy to prioritize oneself at times, excessive self-centeredness can be damaging to relationships. It creates a one-sided dynamic where the needs of one person overshadow those of others.

You deserve relationships that are balanced and reciprocal, where your feelings and needs are valued as much as the other person’s. 

If you’re dealing with someone who is overly self-centered, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship and consider whether it’s truly serving your best interests.

8) Disrespect

Last, but definitely not least, is disrespect. It can show up in many ways – from dismissive comments to ignoring boundaries, or treating others as lesser. It’s a clear violation of one’s dignity and worth.

Disrespect is a behavior that everyone has the right to judge and stand up against. No one deserves to be treated with anything less than kindness, respect, and consideration.

Standing up against disrespectful behavior is not just about protecting yourself. It’s also about promoting a culture of respect and dignity for all. That’s something we should all strive for in our interactions with others.

Conclusion

This article has aimed to shed light on these behaviors, but the ultimate decision of how you react or respond falls on your shoulders.

Your time and energy are precious. Don’t waste them on behaviors that don’t align with your values or contribute positively to your life.

Being aware of these behaviors is a step towards building healthier, more enriching relationships. It’s about knowing what you deserve and not settling for anything less.