We all have our quirks and peculiarities, but there are certain things you should keep to yourself if you want to stay on people’s good side. Being liked isn’t about being fake or hiding who you truly are. It’s about understanding what can turn people off.
In this day and age, oversharing has become commonplace. But oversharing can sometimes make people uncomfortable, or worse, drive them away.
Let me share with you 9 things that are better left unsaid if your aim is to be genuinely liked and respected by others. Keep in mind, it’s not about being deceptive, but rather about being smart with what you share and when.
1) Your deepest insecurities
We all have insecurities. It’s part of being human. However, sharing your deepest insecurities right off the bat can make people uncomfortable.
It’s not that you should never share your vulnerabilities. But timing and context matter a lot. If you’re always talking about your insecurities, it can make you come across as overly self-focused and needy.
And let’s be honest, nobody wants to feel like they’re constantly having to reassure someone else.
While it’s okay to let people see that you’re not perfect, be careful about how much you reveal and when. It’s not about hiding who you are, rather it’s about knowing when to share certain things about yourself.
2) Past grudges
I’ll admit, I’ve held onto a grudge or two in my time. There was this one time when a close friend did something that really disappointed me. For a long time, I couldn’t let it go.
But I learned the hard way that people don’t want to hear about your past grudges. It can make you come across as petty or unforgiving. Plus, it can make the other person feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you, worried they might do something to upset you.
Just imagine how awkward it is when someone constantly brings up old grievances. It’s draining, right?
3) Your salary
Talking about money is a complicated subject. Different cultures, and even different people within those cultures, have varied views on it. But one thing remains fairly consistent across the board: discussing your salary is often seen as taboo.
In fact, a survey conducted by The Cashlorette found that nearly one in four respondents considered money the hardest topic to talk about, even more than death or politics!
It’s not hard to understand why. Sharing your salary can lead to comparisons, resentment, or misconceptions about your lifestyle. Not everyone needs to know how much you earn. It’s best to steer clear of this topic unless it’s absolutely necessary.
4) Negative opinions about mutual acquaintances
Gossip can be tempting. It’s human nature to want to share our thoughts and feelings, especially when we’re upset or frustrated. But speaking negatively about people you both know can backfire in a big way.
It might feel good in the moment, but it can damage your reputation. People may start to wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. This can lead to distrust and tension.
It’s always better to take the high road. If you have an issue with someone, it’s usually best to address it directly with them rather than involving others. Your words reflect on you more than they do on the person you’re talking about.
5) Extreme political views
Politics can be a hot-button issue. While it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, expressing extreme political views can alienate others, especially if they don’t share your perspective.
In today’s polarized climate, political conversations can quickly turn contentious. When people feel attacked or judged for their beliefs, it can damage your relationship with them.
Sure, healthy debate is a good thing. But it’s essential to know when to draw the line. It’s always best to approach political discussions with respect and open-mindedness. If you feel the conversation escalating, it might be best to change the subject.
6) Intimate details too soon
Sharing personal stories and experiences can help build strong connections. They show your human side, your struggles, your victories. However, revealing too much too soon can be off-putting.
There’s a certain beauty in letting relationships unfold naturally. It’s like reading a book; you don’t want to know the ending right after you’ve just started. Each chapter should gradually reveal more about the characters, keeping you engaged and eager to know more.
The same goes for personal relationships. Let people discover your depths gradually. It makes the journey of getting to know you more exciting and heartfelt.
7) Your fear of rejection
Rejection is tough. It stings. I remember back in school, I was rejected by the soccer team. I felt crushed, not good enough. And that fear of rejection followed me for a long time.
But sharing this fear openly can sometimes give the impression of low self-esteem. It can make people feel that you’re seeking reassurance or validation, which can be draining for them.
It’s okay to have these fears, we all do. But it’s how you handle them that counts. Use them as motivation to improve and grow, rather than letting them define you.
8) Excessive self-praise
It’s great to be proud of your achievements. It shows that you’re confident and self-assured. But there’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and coming off as arrogant or conceited.
Constantly singing your own praises can make others feel uncomfortable or annoyed. It can come across as though you’re trying to prove your worth or compete with others.
Actions speak louder than words. Your accomplishments will shine through in what you do, not just what you say. Let others discover your talents and strengths naturally, without you having to boast about them.
9) Personal family issues
Family matters are deeply personal. They can be complex and emotionally charged. Sharing them indiscriminately can place an unintended burden on others.
While it’s healthy to seek support in difficult times, it’s important to consider who you’re sharing with and how much you’re revealing. Some details may be too personal or sensitive to share widely.
Be discerning. Choose a close friend or family member you trust, or consider seeking professional help if needed. Protecting your privacy and the privacy of your family is crucial when dealing with personal family issues.
Final thoughts: It’s about authenticity
The heart of the matter isn’t about hiding or suppressing parts of ourselves. It’s about understanding the power of timing, context, and measure when sharing personal information.
Famed psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance extends to understanding our own boundaries and those of others.
Being liked isn’t about putting on a mask or becoming a people-pleaser. It’s about being authentic, respectful, and considerate in our interactions with others.
So next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember these points. Not as strict rules, but as guidelines to help you navigate the complex world of social interactions. In doing so, you’ll likely find that people are drawn to your authenticity and respect for personal boundaries.
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