9 things you should always keep private (if you want people to respect you)

There’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing.

Spilling too many details about your personal life can sometimes backfire, making people see you in a less respectable light. It’s all about balancing transparency and discretion.

Keeping certain things private doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or secretive, but it shows that you have boundaries and respect for your personal space.

In this article, I’ll be sharing the 9 things you should always keep private if you want to earn and maintain the respect of others. These are things that smart and respected individuals tend to keep to themselves.

Let’s dive in.

1) Personal grievances

We all have our fair share of personal issues and disagreements. That’s simply part of being human.

However, making a habit of airing your personal grievances in public can paint you in a negative light. It can come across as though you’re not capable of handling your problems maturely and privately, or that you thrive on drama.

Voicing your issues should be done constructively, preferably with the person involved. It’s best to keep these matters private and resolve them in a way that fosters understanding and growth.

Respect is often earned by those who demonstrate discretion and emotional intelligence in dealing with their personal issues. 

2) Financial situation

Money matters are generally a private affair.

I learned this the hard way when I was younger. I once shared with a friend about a sudden bonus I received at work. While I thought I was simply sharing my joy, it inadvertently created an awkward dynamic between us. The friend began to make jokes about me paying for everything, and it eventually led to some tension in our relationship.

Over time, I realized that discussing my financial situation openly could lead to unnecessary complications. It could breed jealousy, resentment, or even expectations.

Now, I am careful to keep my financial status private. It’s not because it’s something to be ashamed of, but because respecting boundaries in this area can help maintain healthier relationships.

3) Your love life

Keeping your love life private can save you from unnecessary drama and speculation.

This extends beyond just your current relationship status. Details about your past relationships, breakups, or crushes are things that don’t need to be made public.

Couples who overshare on social media are more likely to have lower relationship satisfaction.

Keeping your love life under wraps not only earns you respect but can also contribute to a healthier and happier relationship.

4) Personal family issues

Your family matters are exactly that – yours. Sharing details about familial disputes or problems can lead to uncomfortable situations and unwanted advice.

Moreover, it may also betray the trust of your family members who may not appreciate their personal issues being discussed with others.

Maintaining the sanctity and privacy of your family affairs is an important aspect of gaining respect from others. After all, if you can’t respect your family’s privacy, how can others expect you to respect theirs?

5) Your medical history

Unless necessary, your medical history should be kept private.

While it’s important to share certain health-related information with those who need to know (such as family, doctors, or emergency contacts), broadcasting your medical history to the world can lead to unsolicited advice, stigma, or even discrimination.

Furthermore, it’s a matter of personal privacy. Your health is a personal journey that you have the right to share or withhold as you see fit.

Ensuring such sensitive information remains confidential can contribute greatly towards earning respect from others.

6) Personal aspirations and goals

We all have dreams, ambitions, and goals that we hold dear to our hearts. However, not all of them need to be shared with the world.

When you openly talk about your personal aspirations, you may find yourself in a situation where people offer unsolicited advice, or worse, belittle your dreams. This could potentially derail your confidence or determination.

Keeping your goals and aspirations private allows you to nurture them in your own way, at your own pace. It gives you the freedom to grow and evolve without external judgement or influence.

The respect you gain by choosing to silently pursue your dreams until they come to fruition can be immense. After all, actions speak louder than words.

7) Acts of kindness

I remember one time I helped a homeless man by buying him a warm meal during a particularly cold winter night. However, instead of broadcasting this act on social media or telling all my friends about it, I chose to keep it to myself.

Why? Because acts of kindness shouldn’t be performed for recognition or praise. Instead, they should stem from genuine compassion and a desire to make a positive difference.

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When you do good deeds privately, without any expectation of acknowledgement or reward, you demonstrate integrity. This is a trait that garners immense respect from others.

Let your good deeds be your secret. The universe has a way of rewarding kindness, even if it’s unseen by others.

8) Your lifestyle habits

Whether you prefer a vegan diet or enjoy a glass of wine each night, your lifestyle habits are personal choices that don’t necessarily need to be announced to the world.

Sharing these details might open doors for unnecessary debates, judgement, or criticism. Plus, it might lead others to form opinions about you based on their own biases rather than who you truly are.

By keeping your personal habits to yourself, you maintain control over your narrative. This can help ensure the respect of those around you as they will see that you value individuality and privacy.

9) Your self-improvement journey

Your journey of self-improvement and personal growth is a deeply personal process. It’s a path filled with triumphs, failures, lessons, and changes.

While it’s okay to seek advice or share significant milestones, broadcasting every detail can invite unnecessary criticism and comparisons.

Moreover, the most transformative growth often occurs in silence and solitude. It’s in these moments that you truly get to know yourself, away from the influence and judgement of others.

Keeping your self-improvement journey private not only shields you from potential negativity but also allows others to respect the person you are becoming, rather than who you were.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

The essence of maintaining privacy isn’t about creating barriers or hiding aspects of our lives. Rather, it’s a matter of respect – respect for ourselves and for others.

When we choose to keep certain things private, we make a conscious decision to protect our personal space. In doing so, we demonstrate self-respect and self-worth, qualities that are often mirrored by those around us.

In the wise words of Albert Einstein, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” This holds true for our personal truths as well.

Choosing what to share and what to withhold is a personal journey. But one thing is clear – the respect we garner from others is often a reflection of the respect we show ourselves.

So, as you navigate through your own journey, remember that respecting your own privacy isn’t just about keeping secrets. It’s about valuing your individuality and maintaining the dignity of your personal space.

That said, what you choose to keep private is ultimately up to you. But remember, the way you handle your privacy can speak volumes about who you are as a person.

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Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown is a renowned expert in mindfulness, relationships, and personal development. With over a decade of experience, Lachlan has dedicated his career to exploring the intricacies of human behavior and self-improvement. For his latest articles and updates, follow him on Facebook here

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