9 signs that someone thinks about you a lot, according to psychology

There’s a certain intrigue in knowing if you’re on someone’s mind.

The mystery often lies in the subtleties, the small signals that suggest someone is thinking of you frequently. It’s not always easy to decipher, but luckily, psychology offers us some clues.

Here, we’re going to delve into 9 tell-tale signs that indicate someone is thinking about you a lot. And the beauty of it all? It’s all based on psychological science.

Let’s get started.

1) Unprompted contact

There’s a certain intrigue that comes with the randomness of a message, a call, or even a social media interaction.

Psychology tells us that unprompted contact is a strong indication that someone is thinking about you. The person doesn’t need a reason to reach out, they just do. It’s not necessarily about needing something or having an agenda. It’s more about them wanting to connect, to engage.

This is often the first sign that you’re on their mind. They might send you a funny meme, share an interesting article, or just drop a simple “how are you?”. It might seem casual, but these are moments when they’ve thought of you and decided to act on it.

Keep in mind, though, context matters. Regular communication is normal among close friends and family. But when it’s someone who typically doesn’t reach out without a reason – that’s when it becomes a telling sign.

2) They remember small details

We’ve all had those moments where someone recalls a detail about us that we barely remember sharing. It’s surprising, and honestly, a little flattering.

Psychology suggests that when someone is thinking about you a lot, they tend to remember small, seemingly insignificant details about you. Things you’ve said offhand, your likes, dislikes, stories from your past – these all get stored in their memory bank.

I remember when my friend Sarah recalled the name of my childhood pet during a casual conversation. I had mentioned it only once, fleetingly, without thinking it was something worth remembering. But she did. It was a small moment but it made me realize how much attention she had been paying to our conversations.

It’s these instances that tell you someone is not just hearing you; they’re really listening. They’re investing mental energy in you, and that’s a clear sign they think about you more often than not.

3) Frequent eye contact

Eyes are often referred to as the windows to the soul, and for good reason. They can reveal a lot about what’s going on in a person’s mind.

When someone thinks about you a lot, they will naturally seek more eye contact with you. This is because our brain has a tendency to prioritize the things and people we think about often.

Eye contact is not just about looking at someone. It’s about connection. When someone maintains eye contact with you, it can mean they’re not just physically present, but mentally and emotionally invested in you too.

Prolonged eye contact can actually increase feelings of affection and intimacy. So if someone is locking eyes with you often, it could be a sign that they’re thinking about you more than you know.

4) They mimic your actions

It’s a fascinating phenomenon, but we tend to mirror the actions and mannerisms of the people we think about and care for. It’s a subconscious process known as mirroring, and it’s a powerful indicator of interest and empathy.

If someone is thinking about you a lot, they may unknowingly start to adopt some of your gestures, your expressions, or even the way you talk. It’s their subconscious way of feeling closer to you.

If you notice that someone is mimicking your actions, even subtly, it could be because they’re spending a significant amount of mental energy on you. Simply put, you’re on their mind, and it’s showing in their behavior.

5) They initiate conversations

It’s simple, yet revealing. If someone frequently initiates conversations with you, it’s a clear sign that they think about you a lot.

Initiating a conversation shows a desire for interaction and connection. It’s their way of inviting you into their world, of wanting to know more about you, and sharing more of themselves.

Whether it’s asking about your day, discussing common interests, or delving into deeper topics, the initiation of conversation is a powerful sign that you occupy their thoughts.

When someone consistently strikes up conversations with you, know that it’s likely because they’ve been thinking about you. Their actions are a testament to the space you occupy in their mind.

6) They express concern for your well-being

When someone cares about you, your happiness and well-being become their concern. It’s a natural outcome of thinking about someone a lot.

If you notice someone frequently checking in on you, asking if you’re okay, or showing genuine concern for your feelings and well-being, it’s a sign that they think about you frequently. They are emotionally invested in your happiness.

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This concern for your well-being goes beyond the casual “how are you?”. It’s in the follow-up questions, the sincere interest in your feelings, and the genuine acts of kindness.

It’s a beautiful thing when someone cares for your well-being. It shows that they value you, not just as an acquaintance, but as a significant part of their life. And that’s a strong indication that you’re often on their mind.

7) They include you in their plans

Being included in someone’s plans is a clear sign that they think about you a lot. It shows that they see a place for you in their future and that they want to spend their time with you.

I remember a time when a friend started including me in her weekend plans. She was always excited to share her ideas and always made sure that I was free and interested. I realized then how much I mattered to her. It wasn’t just about the activities we were doing, it was about spending time together, creating shared memories.

If someone is consistently making plans with you, it’s because they enjoy your company and want you to be a part of their life. That’s a sign that they think about you often, and consider your presence as something that enriches their experiences.

8) They compliment you often

Compliments are more than just kind words. They are an expression of admiration and appreciation. When someone is thinking about you a lot, they tend to notice your qualities and strengths more.

Frequent, genuine compliments could be an indication that someone thinks about you often. They see the positives in you, the things that make you unique, and they’re not shy about expressing it.

Whether it’s complimenting your appearance, your skills, your character, or even the way you handled a situation, these affirming words are definitive signs that you’re on their mind. They see you for who you are, and they appreciate it. It’s a wonderful thing to be seen and appreciated in this way.

9) They express genuine happiness in your presence

When someone thinks about you a lot, it reflects in their interaction with you. The most telling sign is their genuine happiness when they’re around you.

Happiness is not just about smiles and laughter. It’s about the positive energy, the comfort, the easy conversation, and the feeling of being at ease. It’s about feeling better because of your presence.

If you notice someone’s mood brightening when they’re with you, if they seem more lively and engaged, it could be a sign that they’ve been thinking about you frequently.

This is perhaps the most beautiful sign of all. Because at the end of the day, isn’t it wonderful to know that your mere presence can bring happiness to someone else?

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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