There are plenty of ways to make people like you—smiling, listening, remembering their dog’s name. But what about the little things that push people away without you even realizing it?
I’ve spent years studying relationships, and trust me, sometimes it’s the tiniest habits that turn people off the most. The worst part? You probably don’t even know you’re doing them.
The good news is, once you’re aware of these behaviors, they’re easy to fix.
Let’s dive into some of the subtle ways you might be rubbing people the wrong way—according to psychology.
1) Not giving people enough personal space
Ever had a conversation where someone stood just a little too close? It’s uncomfortable, right? Turns out, personal space is a big deal in social interactions.
Psychologists say that when we invade someone’s personal bubble—whether by standing too close, touching too often, or even hovering—it can trigger discomfort and make people subconsciously pull away.
The tricky part? Everyone’s personal space boundaries are different. What feels normal to you might feel intrusive to someone else.
A good rule of thumb is to pay attention to body language. If someone leans away, steps back, or seems tense, they might need a little more breathing room. Give it to them, and they’ll feel much more at ease around you.
2) Interrupting people when they talk
I get it—sometimes you’re just *so* excited to share your thoughts that you jump in before the other person finishes. I’ve been guilty of this too. But here’s the thing: interrupting makes people feel unheard, and nobody likes that.
Psychologists say that when you cut someone off mid-sentence, it signals that you value your own words more than theirs. Over time, this can make people feel disrespected and even resentful.
As the great Stephen R. Covey once said, *”Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”* If you want people to truly enjoy talking to you, focus on listening—really listening—without waiting for your turn to speak.
Trust me, a little patience goes a long way in making people feel valued. And when people feel valued, they like you a whole lot more.
3) Oversharing too soon
Look, I love deep conversations. As a relationship expert, I know that real connection comes from being open and vulnerable. But there’s a time and place for everything, and dumping your entire life story on someone you just met? That’s a bit much.
Psychologists call this *boundary mismatch*—when one person shares way more than the other is comfortable with. It can make people feel awkward or even overwhelmed, which isn’t exactly the best way to build friendships.
I talk about this in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, but that trust takes time. Instead of spilling everything all at once, start with small doses of vulnerability and see how the other person responds.
A little mystery keeps things interesting—and makes people want to know more about you.
4) Being too nice
Wait… isn’t being nice a *good* thing? Well, yes—but only to a point.
Psychologists have found that when someone is *too* nice—agreeing with everything, never expressing their own opinions, or constantly putting others’ needs before their own—it can actually backfire. People may start to see you as insincere, overly eager to please, or even a pushover.
The truth is, we respect people who have boundaries, stand by their beliefs, and aren’t afraid to disagree (respectfully, of course). Being kind is great, but don’t confuse kindness with people-pleasing.
If you want others to genuinely like and respect you, be authentic. Say what you really think (nicely), set boundaries when needed, and remember—real connections come from honesty, not just always saying “yes.”
5) Texting (or looking at your phone) while talking to someone
I’ll admit it—I’ve caught myself doing this more times than I’d like to admit. You think you’re just quickly checking a notification, but to the person in front of you? It feels like you’re saying, *“You’re not that important.”*
Psychologists call this *phubbing* (phone + snubbing), and research shows that it can seriously damage relationships. Even if you’re still technically listening, splitting your attention makes the other person feel unimportant or dismissed.
The fix is simple: when you’re in a conversation, put the phone away. Make eye contact, be present, and show that you actually care about what they’re saying. Trust me, nothing on your screen is more valuable than making someone feel heard.
6) Complaining all the time
Let’s be real—life can be frustrating. Traffic sucks, work is stressful, and don’t even get me started on how expensive everything is these days. But if every conversation you have turns into a rant session, people will start avoiding you.
Psychologists say that negativity is *contagious*. When you constantly complain, it brings down the mood and drains the energy of everyone around you. And honestly? No one wants to feel worse after talking to you.
That doesn’t mean you have to be fake-positive all the time. Venting is normal, but balance it out. Talk about things that excite you, make jokes, ask about *their* life. People are drawn to those who make them feel *good*—not those who remind them how much everything sucks.
7) Not remembering people’s names
I’ll be the first to admit—I used to be terrible at this. Someone would introduce themselves, and two seconds later, *poof*, their name was gone from my brain. But here’s what I’ve learned: remembering someone’s name is a small thing that makes a *huge* difference.
Psychologists say that hearing your own name activates a special part of the brain, making you feel recognized and valued. As Dale Carnegie wisely put it, *“A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.”* Forgetting it? Well, that can make people feel unimportant or forgettable.
If you struggle with this (like I did), try repeating their name right after they say it—*“Nice to meet you, Sarah!”*—or associating it with something memorable. Trust me, making the effort will make people like you a whole lot more.
8) Always making it about you
We all know *that* person—the one who somehow turns every conversation back to themselves. You mention a bad day at work, and suddenly, they’re telling a 10-minute story about *their* terrible boss. You share something exciting, and they immediately one-up you with something even bigger.
Here’s the raw truth: people notice when you do this, and they don’t like it.
Psychologists call this *conversational narcissism*—the habit of constantly shifting the focus back to yourself. And while you might think you’re just relating to them, what you’re actually doing is making them feel unheard.
The fix? Catch yourself. Next time someone shares something, resist the urge to immediately compare it to your own experience. Ask questions. Show genuine interest. Because if you make people feel like what they say *matters*, they’ll actually want to be around you.
Final thoughts
The truth is, we all have little habits that might be pushing people away without realizing it. But the good news? Once you’re aware of them, they’re easy to fix.
Small changes—like listening more, respecting personal space, and being present—can make a huge difference in how people see you. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being mindful.
If you want to dive deeper into building stronger, healthier relationships, check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with insights to help you connect with others in a more meaningful way.
At the end of the day, relationships are built on how we make people *feel*. So why not make them feel good?
