Confidence isn’t just about how you feel—it’s also about how you come across to others. And whether you realize it or not, your body language and behavior in public can send signals about your self-esteem.
Low self-confidence can make you second-guess yourself, avoid eye contact, or shrink into the background. The tricky part? You might not even notice you’re doing it.
The good news is that once you recognize these habits, you can start changing them. Here are some common things people do in public that reveal low self-confidence—and what to do instead.
1) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is one of the biggest indicators of confidence. When you avoid looking people in the eye, it can make you seem unsure of yourself or even untrustworthy.
Of course, maintaining eye contact doesn’t mean you have to stare someone down—that would just be awkward. But if your eyes are constantly darting away or glued to the floor, it signals insecurity.
Confident people make natural, steady eye contact during conversations. It shows that they’re comfortable in their own skin and engaged in the interaction.
If eye contact makes you nervous, try this trick: focus on the space between someone’s eyebrows. It gives the illusion of direct eye contact without the pressure.
2) Fidgeting too much
I used to have a terrible habit of fidgeting in public without even realizing it. Whether it was tapping my foot, playing with my sleeves, or constantly adjusting my posture, I was always moving.
One day, a friend pointed it out to me. They asked if I was nervous about something, and I wasn’t—I just wasn’t aware of how much I was doing it. That’s when I realized my restless movements were making me look anxious and unsure of myself.
Fidgeting is often a sign of nervous energy, and people pick up on it. If you’re constantly shifting in your seat or playing with your hands, it can make you seem uncomfortable or lacking in confidence.
What helped me was becoming more mindful of my movements. Instead of tapping my fingers, I started resting my hands on the table. When I felt the urge to fidget, I took a deep breath instead. Small changes like these made a big difference in how I presented myself.
3) Speaking too quietly
The way you speak says a lot about your confidence. If your voice is too quiet or uncertain, people may struggle to take you seriously.
Your volume and tone influence how others perceive you. A weak or hesitant voice can make you seem unsure of yourself, even if you know exactly what you’re talking about.
Studies have shown that people with stronger, more assertive voices are often perceived as more confident and even more competent. It’s not just about what you say—it’s about how you say it.
If you tend to speak quietly in public, try practicing speaking slightly louder than feels natural. It might feel strange at first, but it helps project confidence and ensures people actually hear what you have to say.
4) Slouching or poor posture
Your body language speaks before you even say a word. Slouching, hunching your shoulders, or keeping your head down can make you appear insecure or unapproachable.
Good posture isn’t just about looking confident—it actually makes you feel more confident. Research has shown that standing or sitting up straight can boost self-esteem and even reduce stress.
If you catch yourself slouching in public, try rolling your shoulders back, lifting your chin, and standing tall. It might feel like a small change, but it can make a huge difference in how others see you—and how you see yourself.
5) Apologizing too much
Saying “sorry” when you’ve done something wrong is a sign of maturity. But constantly apologizing for things that don’t require an apology can make you seem unsure of yourself.
Many people say “sorry” out of habit—apologizing for taking up space, asking a question, or even just speaking their mind. But you don’t have to apologize for existing. You have just as much right to be heard and take up space as anyone else.
Instead of automatically saying “sorry,” try replacing it with “thank you” when appropriate. Instead of “Sorry for being late,” say, “Thanks for waiting for me.” Shifting your language in small ways can help you build confidence and stop undermining yourself without even realizing it.
6) Avoiding speaking up
It’s easy to stay quiet in a group, especially when you’re unsure if what you have to say is valuable. The fear of saying the wrong thing or being judged can make it tempting to just sit back and listen.
But staying silent too often can make people assume you have nothing to contribute, even when you do. It’s frustrating to walk away from a conversation knowing you had thoughts, ideas, or opinions but kept them to yourself.
Confidence isn’t about always having the perfect thing to say—it’s about trusting that your voice matters. The next time you hesitate before speaking up, remind yourself that your perspective is just as valid as anyone else’s.
7) Struggling to accept compliments
When someone gives you a compliment, how do you respond? Do you smile and say “thank you,” or do you brush it off, downplay it, or redirect the attention?
Struggling to accept compliments is a common sign of low self-confidence. It can feel uncomfortable to be praised, especially if deep down, you don’t fully believe you deserve it. But dismissing kind words doesn’t just minimize your own worth—it can also make the person giving the compliment feel awkward.
The next time someone compliments you, resist the urge to deflect. Just smile and say, “Thank you.” Accepting praise graciously doesn’t make you arrogant—it shows that you respect yourself and appreciate others’ kindness.
8) Overthinking everything you do
Second-guessing every word, movement, or decision can make even simple interactions feel exhausting. When you’re constantly worried about how others perceive you, it’s easy to hesitate, hold back, or avoid situations altogether.
But the truth is, most people aren’t analyzing you as much as you think. They’re too busy thinking about themselves. The more time you spend in your own head, the more opportunities you miss to just be present and enjoy the moment.
Confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about letting go of the fear of being imperfect.
