8 signs you’re the type of person who says one thing to an individual but when you have a larger audience will say the opposite

Let’s talk about honesty and consistency. It’s easy to say one thing when it’s just you and another person, but when the crowd gets bigger, do your words change?

This is a sign of inconsistency and can be detrimental to your reputation. It indicates a lack of confidence in your own beliefs or opinions.

You might not even realize you’re doing it. So, I’ve gathered 8 signs that you might be the type who flips the script once an audience is involved.

In the next few paragraphs, we’ll dive into these signs so you can understand if you’re guilty of this behavior. It’s time for some self-reflection, shall we?

1) You’re a different person in the spotlight

Let’s talk about stage presence.

Stage presence isn’t just for actors. It can be the boardroom, a team meeting, or anytime you have more than one pair of eyes on you.

We all behave a little differently when we are in the spotlight. But, if your words and ideas drastically change when you find yourself on this “stage”, it’s time to take note.

For instance, if you’re supportive of an idea in a one-on-one conversation but dismiss it in front of a team, it’s an inconsistency.

This kind of behavior can erode trust and make people question your authenticity. Reputations are built on consistency and transparency, so it’s essential to be aware if your words change with your audience.

Remember, it’s not about putting on a show, it’s about being genuine regardless of who is listening.

2) Personal anecdotes don’t match up

Now, let me share a personal example.

There was a time when I was part of a small team working on a project. We had a colleague who would often share anecdotes about his experiences in private conversations. But in team meetings, his stories would often change, sometimes even contradicting what he’d told us before.

We noticed that he’d often tailor his experiences to suit the atmosphere or the audience’s opinion. It didn’t take long for us to realize that his stories were inconsistent and, frankly, unreliable.

This inconsistency made it hard for us to trust him. His words seemed more like a performance than an authentic sharing of experiences.

So, if you find yourself altering your personal narratives based on who’s listening, it might be a sign that you’re saying one thing to an individual but the opposite in front of a larger audience. Be authentic and consistent with your stories; it builds trust and credibility.

3) You struggle with confrontations

Ever noticed how some people avoid confrontations? Well, this could be a sign you’re switching your stance depending on the audience.

In psychological terms, this is called conflict avoidance. People who avoid conflict tend to agree with others in private to keep the peace, but might say something different in a group setting to fit in or appear neutral.

The fear of confrontation can lead to inconsistent communication, as the person would rather change their stance than risk a potential disagreement.

So, if you often find yourself agreeing in private but changing your tune in public, it could be because you’re avoiding conflict. Remember, it’s okay to disagree and express your views consistently, regardless of the audience size.

4) Your actions contradict your words

There’s an old saying that actions speak louder than words, and it holds true when it comes to consistency in communication.

If you find yourself saying one thing but doing another, especially when the audience size changes, it’s a clear sign of inconsistency. For instance, you may tell a colleague in private that you believe in taking regular breaks for mental health, but in team meetings, you might applaud those who work without breaks to show dedication.

This discrepancy between what you say and what you do can lead to confusion and damage your credibility. It’s essential that your actions align with your words, whether you’re communicating with one person or a larger group. Consistency in words and actions builds trust and authenticity.

5) You feel uncomfortable being consistent

This one hits close to home for many of us. It’s about that uncomfortable feeling we get when we’re being inconsistent in our words, even if we don’t openly acknowledge it.

You know what I mean. It’s that nagging guilt or unease you feel when you say one thing to someone in private and then contradict yourself when you’re in a group setting.

It’s like a gut feeling telling you something’s not quite right, but you brush it off, convincing yourself that it’s necessary to adapt to the situation.

However, this discomfort is a clear sign that you’re not being true to your values. It’s important to listen to this inner voice and aim for consistency in your words, regardless of the audience size. After all, authenticity isn’t situational; it’s a way of being.

6) You’re afraid of being judged

I remember a time when I was more focused on fitting in than standing out. I would often adjust my views and opinions based on the audience, fearing that my true thoughts might invite judgment or rejection.

This fear of judgment can lead us to say one thing in private and something entirely different in public. It’s a defensive mechanism, a way to protect ourselves from potential criticism or disapproval.

But let me tell you, it’s exhausting and unfulfilling. It prevents you from expressing your authentic self and can even lead to misunderstandings or miscommunication.

Embrace your thoughts and opinions, and express them consistently. Sure, not everyone will agree, but that’s okay. The right people will respect you for your authenticity.

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7) You’re not confident in your opinions

Confidence plays a significant role in how we communicate our thoughts and ideas. If you’re not confident in your opinions, you might find yourself changing them based on the audience.

For instance, you might hesitate to share your views in a group setting for fear of being wrong or unpopular. In private, however, you might voice strong opinions because there’s less pressure.

This inconsistency can be confusing for others and can undermine your credibility. It’s important to remember that everyone is entitled to their views, and it’s okay if they evolve with time or new information. However, changing your opinion merely based on the audience reflects a lack of confidence.

Stand firm in your beliefs, and express them consistently. Confidence comes with practice, so don’t shy away from sharing your thoughts, regardless of the audience size.

8) You prioritize pleasing others over expressing your truth

At the end of the day, the most crucial factor in all of this is authenticity. If you’re changing your words based on your audience, it might be because you’re prioritizing pleasing others over expressing your truth.

It’s a common trap many of us fall into. We want to be liked and accepted, so we mirror what we think others want to hear. But in doing so, we lose our authentic voice.

It’s essential to understand that being true to yourself and expressing your genuine thoughts and opinions consistently isn’t about pleasing everyone. It’s about authenticity, which leads to respect and trust. So remember, your voice matters – use it consistently and authentically, no matter who’s listening.

Final thoughts: It’s all about authenticity

The complexities of human communication and behavior can be traced back to our innate desire for acceptance.

One such manifestation is the tendency to alter our words based on the size of our audience. It’s a behavior deeply rooted in our social conditioning, acting as a defense mechanism to avoid conflict or rejection.

The key to overcoming this lies in embracing authenticity.

Remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Whether it’s having an individual conversation or addressing a larger audience, being authentic and consistent in your words is essential. It builds trust, encourages open communication, and fosters an environment of respect and understanding.

So next time you notice a shift in your words based on your audience, take a moment. Reflect. Are you being true to your thoughts and beliefs? Or are you molding them to fit the crowd?

As we navigate through the labyrinth of human interactions, it’s crucial to remember – authenticity isn’t just about being true to others, it’s about being true to ourselves.