8 signs that a man has no integrity, according to psychology

Integrity: It’s a vital trait we all look for in a man. But sometimes, it’s not so easy to spot.

As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve seen my fair share of characters. And let me tell you, not all of them have been brimming with honesty and respect.

Psychology offers us some pretty insightful clues about a man’s integrity (or lack of it). In this article, I’ll be revealing 8 tell-tale signs that a man might be missing this crucial quality.

So, whether you’re dating or just trying to understand the men in your life better, these signs could be a game changer.

Stick with me, ladies. We’re about to delve into some serious psychology. This is Tina Fey, and you’re reading “8 signs that a man has no integrity, according to psychology”.

1) He’s inconsistent

Consistency is key when it comes to integrity. It’s about walking the talk, day in and day out.

According to psychology, a man with integrity will show consistency in his words and actions. If he promises something, he’ll do his best to deliver. If he sets standards for himself, he’ll strive to meet them.

But what if he’s saying one thing today and doing the opposite tomorrow? Red flag, ladies.

Inconsistency can be a clear sign of a lack of integrity. The man might be manipulating situations to his advantage, or simply not caring enough to honor his commitments.

So if you’re dealing with a man who’s all over the map, pay attention. It might be time to question his integrity.

Remember, inconsistency isn’t just about broken promises. It also applies to changes in attitudes, values, and behaviors. You deserve someone who is reliable and true to his word.

2) He avoids responsibility

Taking responsibility is a core part of having integrity. It means owning up to your actions, accepting the consequences, and learning from your mistakes.

I once dated a guy who had an excuse for everything. He was never at fault, and everything was always someone else’s fault. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last long.

A man with no integrity avoids responsibility like the plague. He’ll blame others, make excuses, or just flat-out deny his role in any negative situation.

As the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

So if you’re with a man who always points the finger elsewhere, consider it a sign of lacking integrity. You deserve someone who can admit when they’re wrong and take steps to make things right.

3) He lacks empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a crucial part of having integrity because it shows that you value other people’s experiences as much as your own.

I remember a guy I used to know who seemed almost robotic in his lack of empathy. It was like he was incapable of understanding how other people felt. This lack of empathy was a clear indicator of his lack of integrity.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how empathy is a critical component of healthy relationships and how its absence can lead to toxic patterns.

If you’re with a man who doesn’t seem to understand or care about your feelings, or those of others, it’s a significant red flag. It suggests that he values his own perspective above all others, which is not a sign of integrity.

Remember, a man with integrity will always strive to understand and respect the feelings of those around him.

4) He’s excessively charming

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, who doesn’t like a charming man?

But here’s the thing: excessive charm can sometimes be a mask for a lack of integrity. It can be a tool used by manipulative individuals to get what they want.

Psychology tells us that people with low integrity often use charm to create a favorable impression and manipulate others. They’re excellent at saying the right things at the right time, but their actions often don’t match their words.

I once knew a guy who could charm the socks off anyone he met. But behind the charisma, he was deceitful and untrustworthy. His charm was just a façade.

If you’re dealing with a man who seems too charming to be true, it might be worth taking a step back. Pay attention to his actions more than his words. Integrity isn’t about being charming; it’s about being genuine and honest.

5) He lacks humility

Humility is a trait that’s often overlooked, but it’s a key indicator of a person’s integrity. A man with integrity understands that he doesn’t know everything and is open to learning from others.

I recall a man I met once who always had to be right. He would never admit when he was wrong and was always quick to tout his own achievements. His ego was far larger than his capacity for integrity.

If a man can’t admit when he’s wrong or is always trying to prove he’s the smartest person in the room, it can be a sign that he lacks integrity.

Remember, true integrity is about recognizing your own flaws and being willing to improve. A man who thinks he’s perfect is far from it. Keep an eye out for a healthy dose of humility – it’s an excellent sign of an honest and genuine person.

6) He’s a frequent liar

Let’s get real here. We all tell little white lies from time to time. But there’s a huge difference between sparing someone’s feelings and consistently being dishonest.

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A man lacking integrity has no problem with lying. He’ll create narratives that suit his needs, bending the truth without a second thought. It’s not just about the big lies either; it’s those little, seemingly insignificant ones that add up over time.

I’ve been there, with a man who lied so much that I started doubting my own judgment. It was exhausting and heartbreaking.

Lying is a clear sign of a lack of integrity. If you can’t trust what a man says, how can you trust him with your heart? Honesty is key in any relationship, and without it, there’s no foundation to build upon.

7) He disrespects others

How a man treats others is a direct reflection of his character. A man with integrity respects all individuals, regardless of their relationship with him.

I remember going on a date with a guy who was charming and respectful towards me but was rude to the waiter. It struck me then, as the quote by Maya Angelou goes, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Disrespecting others, especially those who can do nothing for him, is a sure sign of a man lacking integrity. This could be anyone from a server at a restaurant to his own friends and family.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t treat others with respect and kindness, it’s time to reevaluate. You deserve to be with someone who values all people and treats them well. After all, how he treats others is likely how he’ll eventually treat you.

8) He’s selfish

Here’s the raw truth: a man with integrity isn’t self-centered. He understands the importance of compromise and caring about the needs of others.

If a man consistently puts his own needs and desires above everyone else’s, it’s a glaring sign of a lack of integrity. Relationships are about give and take, not one person taking all the time.

I’ve had my fair share of dealing with selfish men. It’s draining, and it shows that they lack the basic understanding that relationships require mutual respect and consideration.

If you find yourself constantly sidelined for his needs or if he shows little interest in your feelings and well-being, it might be time to question his integrity. A relationship with a truly good man isn’t a one-sided affair. You deserve someone who values your happiness as much as their own.

Conclusion

Integrity isn’t something that can be faked. It’s either there or it isn’t. While it can be tough to spot a man lacking integrity, these eight signs are red flags to watch out for.

Remember, it’s not about finding the perfect man, but rather a man who respects you, values honesty and is consistent in his actions.

For more insights into building healthy relationships and recognizing toxic patterns, do check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

In the end, the key to a fulfilling relationship is finding someone who treats you with kindness, respect, and honesty.