8 signs it’s time to walk away from a friendship, according to psychology

Navigating friendships can be tricky, especially when things take a turn for the worse.

Understanding when to walk away from a friendship can be tough. After all, you’ve shared so much, but sometimes, it’s the best decision.

According to psychology, there are certain signs that indicate it’s time to move on.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 such signs that suggest it might be time to let go of that friendship.

This isn’t about blaming or falling out, but about recognizing when a friendship isn’t serving you well anymore.

Let’s dive in.

1) You’re constantly drained

Friendships should be a source of joy and support, not a constant drain on your energy.

If you find yourself frequently exhausted after spending time with a particular friend, this could be a sign that the friendship is not healthy.

Psychologists note that energy-draining relationships often involve one-sided efforts where one person is investing more time, effort, and emotional labor than the other.

This kind of imbalance can lead to burnout and resentment, which are not conducive to a healthy friendship.

If you constantly feel drained or burdened by your friend’s needs, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

2) They don’t respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship, and friendships are no exception.

I remember having a friend who would constantly push my limits. Whether it was showing up unannounced at my home or pressuring me into plans I wasn’t comfortable with, my boundaries were always being crossed.

Over time, I realized that this behavior was not only causing me stress but also taking a toll on my self-esteem. It wasn’t easy, but acknowledging this issue was the first step towards reclaiming my space and peace of mind.

When someone continually disregards your boundaries, it’s a clear sign that they do not value your comfort or autonomy. And according to psychologists, that’s a red flag signaling it might be time to walk away from the friendship.

3) You’re only friends because of shared history

Friendships often form from shared experiences, like going to school together or working at the same place. But sometimes, this shared history is the only thing keeping the friendship alive.

In these cases, you might find that you no longer have much in common with the person or that your values have diverged over time. This can cause a gradual drift where you feel more like acquaintances than friends.

Interestingly, according to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, friendships based solely on past shared experiences often lack depth and meaningful connection in the present.

If you’re holding onto a friendship merely because of shared history instead of current mutual respect and understanding, it might be a sign that it’s time to reassess the relationship.

4) Your values no longer align

As we grow and evolve, our values and beliefs can shift. In some cases, these changes can lead to a widening gap between you and your friend.

If you find that your core values no longer align, and it’s causing frequent disagreements or discomfort, it might be a sign to reconsider the friendship.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything. But a fundamental mismatch in values can lead to recurrent conflict and a lack of mutual respect.

It’s important for your friendships to reflect who you are now, not just who you were in the past. Your relationships should support and respect your current beliefs and values.

5) You feel unappreciated

In the heart of every friendship, there should be a mutual sense of appreciation and respect.

However, if you consistently feel unappreciated or taken for granted, it’s a painful experience that can eat away at your self-esteem and happiness.

You might find yourself always being the one to reach out, plan get-togethers, or offer support, without receiving the same in return. This one-sided dynamic can leave you feeling lonely and unvalued.

Every friendship should be a two-way street. If it feels like you’re always giving and never receiving, it might be a sign that this friendship is not serving your emotional needs.

It’s okay to want to feel valued and appreciated in your relationships. You deserve friendships that lift you up, not ones that leave you feeling unseen.

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6) They’re dismissive of your feelings

Having your feelings dismissed or minimized is deeply hurtful. I recall a time when a friend would consistently brush off my concerns or feelings, making me feel invalidated and unheard.

Over time, this pattern took a toll on my self-esteem and emotional well-being. I began to question my own feelings and experiences, which is a sign of gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse.

When a friend continually disregards or invalidates your feelings, it’s a clear indication of lack of respect and empathy. According to psychologists, this is a significant red flag that it might be time to step back from the friendship.

7) The relationship is full of drama

Friendships shouldn’t feel like a never-ending roller coaster ride. If your relationship is consistently filled with drama, conflict, or instability, it might be a sign that it’s time to step back.

Experiencing constant ups and downs can be emotionally draining and cause undue stress in your life. A healthy friendship should bring peace and balance, not constant turbulence.

It’s okay to seek calm and stability in your relationships. You deserve friendships that bring you joy and contentment, not constant stress and uncertainty.

8) You’re happier without them

At the end of the day, the clearest sign it’s time to walk away from a friendship is when you realize you’re genuinely happier without them.

Friendships should add to your life, not detract from it. If the thought of spending time with a friend fills you with dread rather than excitement, or if you find yourself feeling relieved when plans are cancelled, these are strong indications that the friendship is not a positive influence in your life.

It’s okay to put your happiness first. You deserve friendships that bring you joy, not ones that consistently bring you down.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-respect

According to John Joseph Adams, “It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.”

This wisdom applies perfectly when assessing your friendships. Recognizing and accepting the reality of a toxic friendship is the first step towards reclaiming your peace and self-esteem.

Whether it’s a constant feeling of being drained, a lack of appreciation, or you’re simply happier without them, these signs all point to one fundamental truth: you deserve better.

You deserve friendships that uplift you, respect you, and value you for who you are. And sometimes, walking away from what doesn’t serve you is the most self-respecting decision you can make.

Remember, it’s not just about the friendships you keep, but also about the ones you have the courage to let go.

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Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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