Love can be a tricky thing to decipher. Sometimes, it’s crystal clear when a man is head over heels for you, while other times it’s a little more subtle.
As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and relationship expert, I’ve spent years studying these subtle cues. I’ve seen first-hand that men often express love in ways that might not be immediately recognizable.
In this article, I’ll share with you eight signs, based on psychology, that a man genuinely loves you – even if you don’t realize it. These are the little tells that speak volumes about his feelings.
Let’s get started.
1) He listens
Now, I know this may seem like a no-brainer, but hear me out.
When I say ‘he listens’, I don’t just mean he nods along when you’re talking about your day. I’m referring to a deeper level of attentiveness.
Men who are genuinely in love will remember the small details – those offhand comments you made about your favorite childhood book, or that specific pastry you love from the local bakery. They store these precious nuggets of information because they truly value what you say.
Psychology tells us that this attention to detail is often a sign of deep emotional connection. It indicates that he’s not just hearing your words, but absorbing them and cherishing them.
2) He supports your dreams
Think back to a time when you shared a personal dream or goal with him. How did he react?
If a man truly loves you, he won’t just be supportive in words, but in action too. He’ll encourage you, believe in your abilities, and even push you towards your dreams when you’re feeling doubtful.
From my own experience, I’ve found that a man’s support for your dreams can be one of the most heartening signs of his love.
Psychology further backs this up by suggesting that when a man invests in your dreams, it’s a sign he’s invested in you and the future he hopes to share with you.
As the brilliant Oprah Winfrey once said, “Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.” If he’s lifting you higher, ladies, it’s a clear sign of genuine love.
3) He shows respect for your individuality
He loves you, yes. But does he respect you as an individual, separate from the relationship?
In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve found that men who truly love their partners respect their individuality. They appreciate their partner’s unique qualities, even if they differ from their own.
This respect extends to your personal space and time. He understands that you have a life outside of the relationship – personal interests, career, friends, and family that are important to you.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this concept. It’s essential in building a healthy, loving relationship that both partners maintain their own identities.
If he respects your individuality and encourages you to be your own person, it’s a beautiful sign of his genuine love for you.
4) He isn’t afraid to show his vulnerability
Now, this one might surprise you.
Society often dictates that men should be strong and stoic. But when a man is genuinely in love, he isn’t afraid to show vulnerability.
Why? Because love, in its truest form, requires trust. And showing vulnerability is a sign of trust. It means he feels safe enough with you to let down his guard and reveal his authentic self – flaws, fears, hopes, and all.
If your man is open about his feelings, shares his worries with you, and isn’t afraid to admit when he’s made a mistake, it’s a counterintuitive yet powerful sign of his genuine love for you.
5) He includes you in his future plans
Does he talk about his future including you? Or are his plans singular, focused only on him?
When a man is genuinely in love, he sees you as an integral part of his future. It’s not just about the ‘now’, it’s about the ‘later’ too.
I remember when my husband first started including me in his future plans. It wasn’t grand gestures or extravagant promises. It was simple things like discussing holiday plans for the next year or mentioning a concert he wanted us to attend months down the line.
If he’s talking about plans that involve both of you, whether it’s a vacation next year or buying a house someday, it’s a clear sign that he sees a future with you. And that, my friends, is one of the most telling signs of genuine love.
6) He fights fair
Let’s be real. Every relationship has its share of disagreements – it’s a natural part of two individuals coming together.
But when a man genuinely loves you, he fights fair. The goal isn’t to ‘win’ the argument, but to resolve the issue at hand and strengthen the relationship.
He doesn’t use past mistakes as ammunition or hit below the belt. Instead, he communicates his feelings, listens to your perspective, and seeks a compromise.
Love isn’t about being right all the time, it’s about navigating through life’s ups and downs together with respect and understanding. So if he’s fighting fair, it’s a raw and honest sign of his genuine love for you.
7) He makes sacrifices for your happiness
This is a big one, ladies.
A man who truly loves you will make sacrifices for your happiness, without keeping a tally or expecting something in return.
I remember once when my husband had a big game he was excited to watch, but I had a terrible day and needed company. Without hesitation, he switched off the TV and spent the evening comforting me.
As the great Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” If he’s willing to put aside his own desires to bring a smile to your face or make your life a little easier, that’s a beautiful sign of his genuine love for you.
8) He’s proud of you
This one might seem simple, but it carries a lot of weight.
When a man is genuinely in love, he’s not just proud to be with you – he’s proud of you. He celebrates your achievements, encourages your ambitions, and isn’t threatened by your successes.
He doesn’t belittle your accomplishments or make you feel small. Instead, he’s your biggest cheerleader, standing by your side and applauding your victories.
Love isn’t about competition or comparison. It’s about mutual respect, admiration, and celebrating each other’s individuality. So if he’s genuinely proud of you and your accomplishments, it’s a raw and honest sign of his love for you.
Final Thoughts
Deciphering love can be a complex task, but understanding these signs can help. Each one is a piece of the puzzle that makes up genuine love.
Remember, it isn’t about ticking off a checklist, but recognizing the presence of a deep emotional connection.
And while each man expresses love differently, these signs are generally true for those who are genuinely in love.
For more insights on healthy relationships and overcoming codependency, consider checking out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
Here’s to finding and fostering genuine love in our lives.
