There’s a world of difference between a ‘good man’ and a ‘decent man.’ And that distinction, my friends, is all about character.
Being a good man is about doing the right things. Being a decent man, though? That’s about being the right kind of person. It’s about embodying qualities that make you truly admirable.
As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve spent years studying these qualities, backed by psychology and personal experience.
Let’s dive into the 8 qualities of a truly decent man. These are not just good attributes to have, but essential characteristics for any man striving for decency. This is Tina Fey speaking.
Let’s get started.
1) Emotional intelligence
In the grand scheme of manhood, there’s a little thing called emotional intelligence that truly sets the decent man apart.
You know, emotional intelligence is not just about identifying your own emotions, but also those of others. It’s the ability to empathize, to navigate complex feelings, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
Psychology backs up the importance of this quality. Studies show that men who possess high emotional intelligence are more likely to form successful relationships, both personally and professionally.
If you’re looking to identify a truly decent man, start by observing his emotional intelligence. It’s a tell-tale sign of his decency and a key component of his character.
A decent man is not just good; he understands and respects feelings – his own and those of others. That’s emotional intelligence for you. So, keep an eye out for it.
2) Humility
There’s something incredibly endearing about a man who carries an air of humility. A man who understands that he doesn’t know everything, and that’s okay. It’s a quality that I personally admire and, as research shows, so do many others.
A truly decent man knows his worth but doesn’t feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. He acknowledges his achievements without coming off as arrogant or boastful. That’s humility in its finest form.
As the great Maya Angelou once said, “Nothing will work unless you do.” A humble man understands this. He knows that success is not handed to anyone on a silver platter but is the result of hard work and dedication.
3) Respect for boundaries
Let’s talk about respect for boundaries, a quality that’s absolutely non-negotiable in a decent man.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of understanding and respecting personal boundaries in any relationship.
A decent man understands this. He gets that everyone has their own space, both physically and emotionally, and he respects that. He doesn’t impose his thoughts or decisions on others, understanding that everyone has their own journey.
It’s not always easy to spot, but once you see it, it’s a clear indicator of decency. Because a man who can respect boundaries? Now that’s a man who respects people. And I think we can all agree that respect is the cornerstone of any decent human being.
4) Vulnerability
Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. A truly decent man is not afraid to show vulnerability.
In a society that often equates masculinity with toughness and stoicism, admitting one’s fears, uncertainties, or emotional pain can be seen as a sign of weakness. But psychology tells us otherwise.
Being vulnerable means being open to experiences, emotions, and letting go of control. It’s a sign of emotional maturity and strength, not a weakness. It shows that he is secure in himself and trusts others enough to let them see his true self.
When you see a man embracing his vulnerability, don’t mistake it for weakness. It’s an indication of his decency and strength of character. A truly decent man knows that showing vulnerability doesn’t make him less of a man; in fact, it makes him even more of one.
5) Attentiveness
One quality that I’ve noticed in all truly decent men is an innate sense of attentiveness. They are present and engaged, whether it’s in a conversation or simply observing the world around them.
Being attentive isn’t about grand gestures or overt displays. It’s about the little things – remembering a small detail from a previous conversation, noticing when someone seems upset, or simply just listening when someone talks.
In my own life, the most decent men I’ve encountered have been those who genuinely listen and show interest in others, not because they are obliged to, but because they genuinely care.
A truly decent man is one who pays attention. He notices, he cares, and he shows it. It’s a simple quality, but one that speaks volumes about his character.
6) Accountability
This one’s tough, folks. It’s raw and real, but it’s one of the most important qualities of a truly decent man: accountability.
A decent man understands that he’s human, and with that comes mistakes. We all mess up. We all have our off days. But what separates a decent man from the rest is his ability to own up to his mistakes, to apologize sincerely when he’s in the wrong, and to learn from these experiences.
Accountability isn’t just about owning your actions; it’s about understanding their impact on others. It’s about making amends, about striving to be better.
It’s not always pretty or comfortable, but it’s a quality that speaks volumes about a man’s decency. So when you see it, appreciate it. Because a man who can take accountability is a man worth knowing.
7) Generosity
Generosity, my dear readers, is a quality that truly warms my heart. There’s something profoundly decent about a man who is generous, not just in terms of material possessions, but with his time, his kindness, and his spirit.
As the beloved Audrey Hepburn once said, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” A truly decent man embodies this sentiment. He understands that true richness comes from giving, not receiving.
In my personal experience, the most decent men I’ve met have been those who’ve shown me kindness when I least expected it, generosity when they had little to give. That’s the beauty of it – generosity isn’t about what you have; it’s about what you do with what you have.
8) Authenticity
At the end of the day, there’s one quality that I believe truly defines a decent man: authenticity.
Being authentic means being real, being genuine. It’s about embracing who you are, flaws and all, and not trying to fit into a mold that society has created. It’s about being true to your values, your beliefs, and most importantly, yourself.
Authenticity is raw. It’s honest. And it’s rare. But when you come across a man who is unapologetically himself, who doesn’t try to put on a facade or impress others with who he’s not – that’s a man of decency.
An authentic man isn’t perfect. But he doesn’t pretend to be. He understands that his worth comes from his authenticity, not from how well he fits into societal expectations.
Conclusion
And there you have it, the 8 qualities that define a truly decent man. It’s not about being perfect, but about being authentic, respectful, and kind.
Remember, these qualities are more than just attributes; they are the essence of a man’s character. So if you find a man who embodies these qualities, appreciate him. He’s a rare breed.
And for more insights into relationships and self-growth, do check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a comprehensive guide to building healthier relationships and breaking free from unhealthy attachments.
Remember, it’s not just about finding a decent man; it’s about being a decent person too. So let’s all strive to embody these qualities in our own lives. Until next time, this is Tina Fey signing off. Stay true, stay kind, stay you.
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