There’s a vast difference between being a man and being a truly good man.
It’s all about character. Being a man is a matter of age, but being a good man is a matter of choice – one that requires thought, discipline, and maturity.
As a psychologist, I’ve come across different qualities that define what it means to be a truly good man. And, I can tell you, it’s not about the size of your bank account or the car you drive.
In this article, I’m going to share with you seven qualities that psychology points out in a truly good man. And trust me, these qualities are worth striving for!
1) Emotional intelligence
There’s no denying the importance of emotional intelligence in today’s world.
Psychology has always emphasized the role of emotional intelligence in becoming a truly good man. It’s not just about being smart or having a high IQ. It’s about being aware of, understanding, and managing our emotions in a positive way.
It’s about empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about communication – conveying our thoughts and emotions effectively, and understanding those of others.
Being a truly good man involves recognizing your own emotions and those of others, distinguishing between different feelings, labelling them appropriately, and using emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
That’s what emotional intelligence is all about. And if you ask any psychologist, they’ll tell you that being emotionally intelligent is one of the defining qualities of a truly good man.
2) Integrity
Integrity is another cornerstone of being a truly good man. It’s about being honest, standing up for what you believe in, and having strong moral principles.
Let me share a personal story to illustrate this.
Years ago, when I was just starting my career as a psychologist, I was given a challenging case. The client was a well-known figure in the city, embroiled in a high-profile scandal. He wanted me to testify in court on his behalf – to manipulate my professional opinion to his advantage.
It was tempting. He offered a lot of money and the promise of boosting my fledgling career. But it went against everything I believed in – honesty, truthfulness, and professional ethics.
So, I refused.
I lost the client but preserved my integrity. And that decision made me a better man and a better psychologist.
Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching and even when doing the wrong thing could be beneficial. It’s about making tough choices and standing by them. That’s what makes a man truly good.
3) Resilience
Life is full of ups and downs, and no one is exempt from tough times. However, it’s how we react to these difficulties that truly defines us.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, and it’s a key quality of a truly good man. It’s about having the strength to face challenges head-on, learn from them, and come out stronger on the other side.
eing resilient is not just about dealing with life’s challenges, it also has tangible health benefits! Building resilience can help improve your life in more ways than one. So, when life knocks you down, remember to get back up. That’s what a truly good man would do.
4) Humility
In a world where self-promotion and ego are often celebrated, humility stands out as a refreshing and much-needed quality.
Being a truly good man involves recognizing that you’re not always the center of the universe. It’s about acknowledging your mistakes, learning from them, and being open to other perspectives.
Humility doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. It’s about putting others first and understanding that everyone has something valuable to contribute.
A humble man listens more than he speaks. He appreciates the wisdom of others and doesn’t let pride get in the way of learning something new.
Humility is a quiet strength that earns respect without seeking it. And that’s what makes it one of the defining qualities of a truly good man.
5) Compassion
Compassion is the capacity to understand the emotional state of another person or oneself. It’s about feeling for and not just feeling with.
I remember the time I had my first heartbreak. I was just a teenager and didn’t know how to cope with the pain. It was my grandfather who sat me down, listened to my woes, and comforted me in a way that no one else did or could.
He didn’t just offer words of comfort; he shared his own stories of heartbreak, making me realize that pain is universal and temporary. His compassion towards my situation helped me heal and grow.
Being compassionate involves more than just understanding someone’s pain. It’s about being sensitive to their feelings, offering support, and doing what you can to alleviate their distress.
And it’s not just reserved for dire situations. Compassion can be as simple as lending a listening ear to a friend or helping a stranger in need.
A truly good man understands this and practices compassion in his daily life.
6) Responsibility
Responsibility is about owning your actions, your decisions, and their consequences. It’s about keeping your word, fulfilling your commitments, and not shying away from the mistakes you make.
A truly good man doesn’t point fingers or make excuses when things go wrong. Instead, he steps up, admits his errors, and takes necessary steps to rectify them. He understands that his actions affect others and strives to make choices that are considerate and respectful.
Responsibility also extends to others’ well-being. It involves looking out for those around you, be it family, friends, or even strangers. It’s about being a reliable person who others can trust and depend on.
In essence, being responsible means being accountable for your life and the lives of those you touch. And that’s a mark of a truly good man.
7) Respect
Respect is the cornerstone of every positive relationship. It’s about valuing others’ rights, feelings, thoughts, and wishes. It’s about treating others as you’d want to be treated.
A truly good man respects everyone around him – from the CEO of a company to the cleaner who keeps his office spick and span. He understands that every person has worth and deserves kindness, consideration, and dignity.
He respects boundaries, values diversity, and listens without interrupting. He doesn’t belittle or demean others to make himself feel superior.
And most importantly, a truly good man respects himself. He values his own feelings and ideas, takes care of his health and well-being, and doesn’t let others treat him poorly.
In the end, respect is the foundation upon which all other qualities are built. Without it, no man can truly be considered good.
The essence of a good man
Being a good man is more than just a choice. It’s a way of life. It’s about embodying qualities such as emotional intelligence, integrity, resilience, humility, compassion, responsibility, and respect.
But it’s essential to remember that none of us are born with these qualities. They’re learned and developed over time through our experiences, relationships, and introspection.
Moreover, there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of a good man. Each individual brings their unique perspective to these qualities based on their personal values and life experiences.
However, psychologists have found a common thread. Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”
So, as you strive to be a good man, remember that it’s about the journey and not the destination. It’s about striving for continuous growth and improvement. And most importantly, it’s about treating yourself and others with kindness and respect along the way.
After all, being a truly good man isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being perfectly human. And that’s an endeavor worth pursuing.
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