We often don’t notice the ways we project our feelings about ourselves to the world. But sometimes, small actions and habits can unintentionally reveal the low self-esteem we’re trying to hide.
In fact, there are things you might be doing right now that are screaming “I lack confidence!” without you even realizing it.
Let’s dive into the 10 things you’re unknowingly doing that are broadcasting your low self-esteem. These may be hard to accept, but recognizing them is the first step towards boosting your confidence.
Let’s get started.
1) Constantly saying sorry
Do you find yourself apologizing even when it’s not necessary? You might be surprised to learn that this is a common sign of low self-esteem.
It’s one thing to express regret when you’ve done something wrong. Saying sorry in these instances is a sign of maturity and empathy. But if you’re always apologizing, even for things that aren’t your fault or responsibility, it could be an indication that you feel inferior or undeserving.
You might not even notice it, but incessantly saying sorry can send a message to others that you’re always in the wrong, or that you see yourself as a burden. This can undermine your self-confidence and reinforce your low self-esteem.
Recognizing this habit is the first step towards breaking it. Remember, you don’t have to apologize for existing or taking up space.
2) Shying away from compliments
This one hits close to home. I used to be the kind of person who couldn’t take a compliment. If someone praised me for a job well done, I would immediately deflect it or downplay my achievements.
“I just got lucky,” or “Anyone could have done it,” were my go-to responses. I thought I was being humble, but looking back, I realize it was my low self-esteem talking.
When we have low self-esteem, we often believe we don’t deserve praise. We might think the person complimenting us is just being polite or they don’t really mean it. But by doing this, we’re rejecting positive feedback and reinforcing our negative self-image.
If you’re like me and struggle with accepting compliments, it’s time to start practising the simple art of saying “Thank you.” It’s a small change, but it can make a big difference in the way we perceive ourselves.
3) Body language
You might not pay much attention to how you’re sitting or standing, but your body language can speak volumes about your self-esteem. Research shows that people with low self-esteem often exhibit “closed” body language, like crossing their arms, slouching, or avoiding eye contact.
Your body language can communicate insecurity and discomfort to others, even if you’re not saying a word. It’s a subtle signal that you don’t feel confident or comfortable in your own skin.
But here’s the good news: You can change this. Start paying more attention to your posture. Stand tall, hold your head high, and make eye contact. You might be surprised at how much better you feel when your body language reflects confidence and self-assuredness.
4) Neglecting self-care
When was the last time you did something solely for yourself? Are you always putting others first to the point of neglecting your own needs?
People with low self-esteem often struggle with self-care. They might feel guilty about spending time or resources on themselves, believing that they are not worthy of it.
But remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s an essential part of maintaining our physical, mental, and emotional health.
Whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, going for a run, reading a book or even just saying ‘no’ when you’re overwhelmed, make sure you’re taking time to look after yourself. You deserve it just as much as anyone else.
5) Downplaying your achievements
Do you tend to brush off your successes as ‘no big deal’ or attribute them to luck rather than your own hard work? If so, you might be dealing with low self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem often downplay their achievements. They feel that they don’t deserve the recognition or that their accomplishments aren’t significant. This kind of thinking can undermine your confidence and prevent you from recognizing your true potential.
The next time you accomplish something, no matter how small, take a moment to celebrate it. You worked hard and you deserve to feel proud of what you’ve achieved. Don’t let your low self-esteem rob you of the joy of success.
6) Struggling to accept love and kindness
Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to accept love and kindness from others. If you find yourself questioning why people would care for you or show you kindness, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.
You might wonder why they would spend their time on you or think they must want something in return. This struggle to accept love and kindness often stems from feeling unworthy or believing that you don’t deserve it.
But let me tell you, everyone deserves love, kindness, respect, and care. You are deserving, just as you are. Don’t let your inner critic convince you otherwise. Welcome the love and kindness around you with open arms. It is not a transaction; it is a testament to your worthiness.
7) Fear of expressing your opinion
There was a time when I would stay silent in a group discussion. Not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I was afraid. I was afraid that my opinion would be dismissed or ridiculed.
This fear of expressing your opinion is a clear sign of low self-esteem. You might worry that people will judge you or think less of you based on what you say.
But your voice matters. Your thoughts and opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s. Don’t let the fear of judgement keep you from expressing yourself. It’s okay to disagree with others, and it’s okay to speak up. Remember, every voice, including yours, adds value to the conversation.
8) Oversharing personal information
You might think that being an open book is a sign of confidence. But in reality, oversharing personal information, especially early in a relationship or conversation, can actually be a sign of low self-esteem.
When you overshare, it’s often an attempt to win approval or validation from others. You might feel the need to prove yourself or your worth by sharing intimate details about your life, hoping it will make others like you more.
But true connections are built over time and genuine interactions, not just on the basis of personal stories. So the next time you find yourself on the verge of oversharing, take a step back. You don’t need to bare your soul to everyone you meet to be accepted or appreciated.
9) Avoiding new experiences
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be daunting. But consistently avoiding new experiences or challenges can be a sign of low self-esteem.
You might fear failure, worry about what others may think, or doubt your abilities to handle unfamiliar situations. As a result, you stick to what’s safe and comfortable, limiting your growth and opportunities.
But here’s the thing: Growth comes from pushing boundaries and trying new things. Yes, it can be scary, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. So why not take that leap? You might surprise yourself with just how capable you really are.
10) Negative self-talk
The way you talk to yourself matters. If you’re constantly criticizing yourself or focusing on your flaws, you’re feeding into your low self-esteem.
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging. It reinforces your feelings of worthlessness and can make it hard for you to see your strengths and accomplishments.
Next time you catch yourself being harsh on yourself, pause for a moment. Switch that negative comment with a positive one. Remember, you deserve kindness and compassion, especially from yourself.
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