If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that not everything needs to be shared.
According to psychology, there are certain things better kept to yourself. And while openness and honesty are generally encouraged, sometimes a little discretion goes a long way.
In this article, I’ll share ten things that are best kept under wraps, not because they’re shameful or wrong, but simply because they’re your own.
Let’s get started.
1) Personal life details
Psychology suggests that maintaining a certain level of privacy around your personal life is beneficial.
We all have aspects of our lives that are deeply personal. These can range from our family dynamics to our romantic relationships, our health issues, or even our deepest fears and dreams.
Sharing everything about your personal life can leave you vulnerable and exposed. It’s not about hiding or being secretive; it’s about protecting your emotional and mental space.
Not everyone needs to know everything about you. Keep some things to yourself as a form of self-care and respect for your own privacy.
2) Financial status
Money is a tricky topic, isn’t it?
I learned this the hard way. A few years ago, I landed a promotion with a substantial pay raise. Excited and naive, I shared the news, including the specifics of my new salary, with a few close friends.
Soon, I noticed a shift in dynamics. There were subtle expectations for me to foot the bill more often, unsolicited advice on how I should spend or save, and even some resentment.
That’s when I realized: my financial status, earnings, and spending habits are my business alone. Discussing them with others can lead to unnecessary complications and misunderstandings.
Psychology backs this up – it’s recommended to keep your financial details private to maintain healthy relationships and personal peace of mind.
3) Long-term goals
It’s exciting to share your dreams and goals with others, but psychology suggests there’s a good reason to hold back.
According to a study published in Psychological Science, when you share your long-term goals with others, it creates a premature sense of completeness. This can actually decrease your motivation to work towards achieving those goals.
The reason? Sharing your goals can give you the psychological satisfaction of achieving them, even if you haven’t put in the work yet.
As tempting as it might be to announce your plans to the world, consider keeping them to yourself until you’ve made significant progress or achieved them.
4) Past resentments
We’ve all been hurt or wronged at some point in our lives. It’s only natural to feel resentment or anger towards those who have caused us pain.
However, constantly bringing up past resentments in conversations can be detrimental to your mental health and can paint you in a negative light.
Psychology suggests that dwelling on past hurts can keep you stuck in a cycle of negative feelings and prevent you from moving forward.
Instead of sharing these resentments with others, it’s often more beneficial to work through them privately or seek professional help if needed. Remember, your peace of mind is more important than keeping the past alive.
5) Good deeds
Helping others and doing good deeds can bring great joy and fulfillment. However, constantly talking about these deeds can come across as boastful and insincere.
The most genuine acts of kindness are those done without expectation of recognition or reward.
It’s great to do good in the world, but remember, it’s not about getting applause or public acknowledgment. Do it because it feels right, and keep it to yourself. The satisfaction of knowing you’ve made a positive impact is reward enough.
6) Family problems
Every family has its struggles and difficulties. These issues, however, are usually deeply personal and emotional.
Discussing family problems with others can be a sensitive matter. It’s not just about your feelings; it also involves the privacy and dignity of your family members.
It’s completely okay to seek help or advice when you’re dealing with family issues. However, indiscriminately sharing these problems can lead to misunderstandings or even misuse of information.
Respecting the privacy of your family is a sign of love and trust. Keep family matters within the family, or discuss them only with trusted professionals if need be.
7) Medical history
A few years back, I was diagnosed with a minor health condition. It wasn’t life-threatening, but it required lifestyle adjustments and regular check-ups. Initially, I shared this information openly with acquaintances and even coworkers. I figured it was just a fact of my life, so why hide it?
But over time, I noticed a shift. People began treating me delicately, like I was fragile or about to break. It became the defining factor of how people saw me, overshadowing my achievements or my personality.
That’s when I understood the value of keeping certain things to myself. Your medical history is your own. It’s private information that you have complete control over sharing. Consider carefully who needs to know and how it may affect your interactions with them.
8) Your fears
It might seem like a good idea to share your fears with others, thinking it shows vulnerability and helps to build connections. But psychology suggests a different approach.
Sharing your fears can sometimes give them more power, making them seem bigger and more insurmountable than they truly are.
Also, there’s a risk that people might use these fears against you, consciously or unconsciously. Not everyone has your best interests at heart.
While it’s important to tackle your fears and not let them control you, consider keeping them to yourself or only sharing them with trusted individuals who can provide constructive support.
9) Personal beliefs
We all have our own set of beliefs, whether they’re religious, political, or philosophical. These beliefs shape who we are and how we view the world.
However, sharing these beliefs, especially in a diverse environment, can sometimes lead to unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding. People have different perspectives and experiences that shape their own beliefs, and what might seem obvious to you could be completely foreign to someone else.
It’s not about hiding who you are, but rather about promoting harmony and understanding. Keep your personal beliefs to yourself unless you’re in an environment where open discussion is encouraged and respected.
10) Your secrets
This might seem obvious, but it’s worth emphasizing: your secrets are your own.
Whether they’re silly, embarrassing, or deeply personal, secrets hold power. Once shared, they’re no longer solely in your control.
Keeping your secrets to yourself ensures that you maintain control over your own narrative. It protects you from potential judgment, misunderstanding, or misuse of information.
Guard your secrets wisely. They’re a part of who you are, and you have the right to keep them to yourself.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-respect
Understanding what to keep to yourself is more than just a psychological recommendation; it’s fundamentally tied to your self-respect and self-perception.
Research indicates that maintaining certain boundaries and keeping some aspects of your life private can bolster your self-esteem and enhance your overall mental health.
Think about it: by deciding what you share and what you keep to yourself, you’re asserting control over your own narrative. You’re defining who you are, not by what others perceive, but by what you choose to reveal.
And isn’t there something empowering in that? In knowing that you, and only you, hold the keys to your personal story?
So as you navigate through life, remember these ten things best kept to yourself. Not as a means of deception or secrecy, but as an act of self-love, self-preservation, and respect for your own journey.
After all, some things are meant to be just for you.
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