We’ve all encountered that one person who spills too much information in conversations – even when it’s not appropriate. This oversharing habit can be puzzling, and sometimes even uncomfortable.
Understanding the reason behind this behavior can help us respond better. Usually, people who overshare exhibit certain traits that make them prone to this habit.
In this article titled “People who overshare in conversations usually display these 8 traits”, we’ll be decoding these characteristics. So, brace yourselves for some enlightening revelations about the oversharers in your life.
1) Desire for validation
If you’ve ever wondered why some people tend to overshare in conversations, the first trait to look at is their desire for validation. Oversharers frequently seek approval and affirmation from others, and sharing personal details is a way to get attention and sympathy.
This trait is not necessarily negative – after all, everyone craves validation to some extent. However, oversharers often lean on this coping mechanism more heavily than others, leading them to spill details that might be better kept private.
Understanding this trait can help us empathize with oversharers and respond with kindness and patience. But remember, providing validation doesn’t mean you have to engage in every detail they share. It’s okay to gently steer the conversation elsewhere if things get too personal.
So next time you’re confronted with an oversharer, remember that they might just be seeking a little validation.
2) Need for connection
I still remember a friend of mine from college who was known for her oversharing habit. Every conversation, be it a casual chat or a group discussion, she would invariably divulge personal details that left everyone a little surprised.
Eventually, I realized that her oversharing was driven by her intense need for connection. She believed that by revealing her personal experiences and emotions, she could form deeper bonds with others. Her oversharing was a way to reach out, to find common ground, to feel less alone in her experiences.
This need for connection is another common trait among people who overshare. They use their personal stories as a bridge, hoping to create a bond with the listener. The intention is usually innocent – they’re simply trying to connect on a deeper level.
So, if you know someone like my college friend, bear in mind that their oversharing might just be their unique way of trying to connect with you.
3) Lack of self-awareness
Self-awareness plays a crucial role in moderating our conversations. However, those who overshare often lack this vital trait. They may not realize that their level of disclosure is disproportionate to the situation or relationship.
Psychologists attribute this trait to a phenomenon known as the ‘closeness-communication bias’. This bias leads people to believe that their close relationships understand them better than they actually do, leading to over-disclosure.
Understanding this can help us navigate conversations with oversharers more effectively. It’s important to remember that they might not be aware of crossing boundaries and gentle feedback can help them develop better communication skills.
4) High levels of stress or anxiety
People who often overshare in conversations usually display high levels of stress or anxiety. In a bid to cope with their emotional turmoil, they unload their thoughts, feelings, and experiences onto others. It’s almost like a pressure release valve, providing temporary relief from their inner chaos.
This isn’t to say that everyone who overshare is dealing with stress or anxiety. Yet, it’s undeniable that there’s often a link between oversharing behavior and heightened emotional states. So, when you encounter an oversharer, it might be worth considering that they could be dealing with more than just an inability to filter their conversations.
5) A cry for help
Sometimes, oversharing is more than just a habit or a personality trait. It may be a silent cry for help. People who are going through tough times might over disclose personal details as a way to reach out and express their need for support.
Listening to an oversharer can be overwhelming, especially when the shared information is heavy or distressing. Yet, it’s in these moments of vulnerability that we have the chance to extend empathy and understanding.
While we can’t solve everyone’s problems, sometimes all it takes is an open ear and a kind word to make someone feel seen and heard. In these cases, oversharing becomes less of an annoyance and more of a reminder of our shared humanity.
6) Struggle with boundaries
When I was younger, I had a tendency to overshare. Whether it was a small gathering or a large group discussion, I found myself spilling personal details, often without realizing it. It took me some time to understand that my oversharing was a reflection of my struggle with boundaries.
This is a common trait among oversharers. Understanding the concept of personal and social boundaries and knowing when to respect them is something that doesn’t come naturally to everyone. For many, like me, it’s a learned skill.
Learning to set and respect boundaries has made a big difference in my life. I’ve discovered that it’s possible to be open and authentic without oversharing. And I’ve learned that respecting boundaries – both mine and others’ – leads to healthier and more balanced relationships.
7) Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is another trait that can lead to oversharing. People with low self-esteem often feel the need to prove their worth or seek validation from others. As a result, they may end up sharing personal details, in the hope of gaining acceptance or approval.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey with self-esteem is unique. Some may overshare as a way to cope, while others might withdraw and become more reserved. Recognizing this can help us respond with empathy and understanding when we encounter an oversharer.
Remember, your reaction can make a big difference. A kind word or a show of support can go a long way in boosting someone’s self-esteem.
8) Desire for authenticity
At the heart of oversharing often lies a strong desire for authenticity. Oversharers want to be seen and accepted for who they truly are, without any pretense or façade. They share their stories, experiences, and emotions in an unfiltered way, hoping to present their authentic selves to the world.
This trait highlights an important aspect of human nature – our innate desire to be true to ourselves and to be accepted as we are. It’s a reminder that everyone has a story to tell, and sometimes, all it takes is a listening ear to make someone feel validated and understood.
Final thoughts: A call for empathy
Understanding human behavior can be a complex puzzle, but it’s often rooted in our shared desire for connection and acceptance.
People who overshare in conversations aren’t doing it to annoy or burden others. More often than not, they’re seeking validation, trying to connect, or maybe even asking for help.
These traits are not just unique identifiers of oversharing behavior, but they’re a reflection of our shared human experiences. We all have moments where we seek validation, yearn for deeper connections, or struggle with our boundaries.
So next time you encounter an oversharer, remember these traits. Extend empathy instead of annoyance. After all, at the heart of every overshare is a person who is trying to connect in the best way they know how.
As Maya Angelou once said, “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” Perhaps understanding the reasons behind oversharing can bring us one step closer to embracing this truth.
